Possitives to Aspergers

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Agreed!

Ummmmm... none? It offends me deeply when people say there are positive's to aspergers syndrome, to me there really arent and personaly i'd rather be dead. socializing is very hard for people with this disorder and dealing with social awkwardness, anxiety, depression, saying the wrong thing sometimes, inability to communicate very well, is enough to bring a person to commit suicide. ive heard some people say there are positives like being good at reading books and doing school work and boring crap like that... lol? wow you can read a book and do math i guess that floats some peoples boats being able to sit and read a book and work with numbers for theyre entire lives. im not like that at all i believe im a very social person in the heart but i cant hardly because this disorder is truely holding me back and i believe ive lost alot of serious potential to be successful in life because of it. and not to mention the low self esteem that comes from all of that.

so ya... alot of positves there...(sarcasm)

It is unfortunate that you feel that way... while there are times when I wish I were more capable in some areas, I can't imagine my life being different. I see the masses unaware of the flowers blooming, the artistry and craftsmanship in handworked wood, the music in the rhythms permeating the world that surrounds... and I don't want to lose that for the sake of small talk. All we have in life are choices... even when we don't see them. It is what you choose to find that will define your world for you.


M.

I'm sorry you are hurting. Many of us are on different levels and I find myself depressed a lot of the time. I have been that way since early adolescence. However, I didn't just suddenly develop my oddball personality when I read about AS and realized it describes me. Really, it was a relief to finally know there was finally a logical explanation why I've always been the odd man out. It wasn't that I was defective, or that everyone around me was... just different neural wiring.

Here is the thing, we CAN learn to improve our social skills. We can learn to recognize and respond to social cues intellectually. It requires a lot more mental effort for us than NT's, because they do it instinctively, but it can be done. If you really want to be more social, then you have to make yourself get out there and do it. Even NT's say the wrong things sometimes, and social awkwardness, anxiety, depression, etc. isn't just limited to those on the spectrum.

We can succeed the same way someone from a foreign culture with a different language can learn the native language and culture enough to communicate. It is possible that you may always have at least a slight "accent" and may not ever be able to completely pass yourself off as a "native", but total NT emulation should not be your goal. You don't have to be one of them to get along with them. Just do what you can, take baby steps... each time moving just a tiny bit further out of your comfort zone. Setbacks are inevitable, but the key is not to take them to heart but to learn from them. One of our strengths is our analytical minds... so pick apart what happened so you can improve for next time. But do so with an open heart... be willing to forgive yourself for any mistakes and be proud of yourself for going through the effort and know that you are learning and progressing.

The positives come in however, when you accept that you are who you are. We all have room for improvement, but you can't judge yourself by NT standards. Like I said in my previous post, we have a greater potential for true happiness than they do... we can choose to be happy now. We don't have to allow (our beliefs about) others' opinions to define it for us. We just have to be honest with ourselves, accept ourselves warts and all, and resolve to improve the things we can (at the pace we can) while doing the things we enjoy.

thanks for posting that it kinda helped...i think its obvious i need help and have a long way to go...

LoveableNerd - that was a really good response.


M.

I know how you feel, I only got diagnosed in March, i've accepted it and learnt the basics...I wanna learn to embrace it but it will take time. I tring workout what bits of my life are austic traits and there for not my fault e.g. I couldn't cope with school and didnt know why, I dropped out at 16 and my parents told me to get a job, I felt like a mental wall was blocking me from doing it I didnt know what was so scary about getting a job. Now I understand it, I also understand that i'm not lazy or stupid or immature or weird or a freak.

I need time to learn how to train and control my autsim.

You get to read and learn something related to your obsession almost 24/7/7. This allow you to be smarter than normal average adult. Imagine how much you would knew if you turn 30 years old?

You get to be jack of all trade and not expert of all things except unless you enchance your skills to above average.

You tend to help people with their problem relating to your obsession.

You are independent, you tend to be a wizard behind frontline. Your ability to use mental capacity can hugely assist soldiers while have the satisfaction of not breaking a sweat. Freelancing is luxury as long as it providing your need and give you the satisfaction.

If 50 soldiers in frontline kill 300 people but you as a mental wizard create or manage technology that kill 50 people. Wouldn't you be valuable? As long as I being paid, I would have that satisfaction.

You are more likely to live financially happily (if you learn the trick of the trade and know how to manage finance) compares to people who focus too much on work and not independently.