Do you ever wonder if you said something wrong?

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MsTriste
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20 Jul 2008, 3:02 pm

Looking back, saying the wrong thing and/or saying it in the wrong way and/or in the wrong context, is the basis for most of the countless times I've screwed up relationships with family, friends, coworkers.

Even here, I've had supposed 'friends' go to the dark side because they completely misinterpreted me.

I need to learn to open my mouth less, I suppose.

I've also had to change how I interact with others in this forum, learning that it's not just my fault for being misunderstood.



Amik
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20 Jul 2008, 3:54 pm

I wonder all the time if I said or did something wrong. When someone is upset with me I almost never know why and just wonder what it was that I said or did that upset them or ticked them off.

I've had "friends" (obviously not real ones) turn their back on me without me ever finding out why. Very often people get annoyed with me or angry at me and I don't understand why and they refuse to tell me and assume I know exactly what I did wrong. I get really confused and upset when this happens. :|



ericksonlk
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20 Jul 2008, 5:38 pm

Amik wrote:
I wonder all the time if I said or did something wrong. When someone is upset with me I almost never know why and just wonder what it was that I said or did that upset them or ticked them off.

I've had "friends" (obviously not real ones) turn their back on me without me ever finding out why. Very often people get annoyed with me or angry at me and I don't understand why and they refuse to tell me and assume I know exactly what I did wrong. I get really confused and upset when this happens. :|


I feel the same...


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Aurore
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20 Jul 2008, 5:56 pm

beef_bourito wrote:
whenever i don't get the expected response i wonder if i said something wrong. sometimes it's just something i found funny and they don't laugh so i figure they didn't find it funny, but other times it's just something i really didn't expect, and i can't figure out why.


That happens all the time to me, where I think something's funny so I'll say it and then I get a really bad reaction. But some of my friends are also Aspie or otherwise share my odd sense of humor so we'll just get onto a random joke tangent and everyone else will be staring at us.


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Roseduelist
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20 Jul 2008, 7:32 pm

yes, and I hate those moments



Awesomelyglorious
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20 Jul 2008, 7:40 pm

Yes, sometimes I am right in that I said something wrong, other times I am wrong. I really do not have much ability to determine which is which.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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20 Jul 2008, 11:28 pm

I am sure I am misunderstood quite often. I can say with great objectivity that my wish is to not offend people, try to make them feel bad or say the wrong thing. Sometimes it happens anyway because I do not realize they might take something I say or do the wrong way and put their own spin on things.

I can be a complainer at times and I know that's aggravating to some people who don't want to hear about it. Sometimes I can't help it though and just have this need to express myself by complaining about my life and I can be obsessive about it. Also, I can be full of self pity from time to time and depress people. Some people are offended by this and take it the wrong way too.



Omar
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20 Jul 2008, 11:45 pm

If people just got in the habit to ask for clarification instead of projectin' their thoughts and ideas into your words, things be better. 'course that aint how communication go, most people be put'n more stock into your shadows and shades than to to the meat and bones, and after the initial impression, it be like trying to paint over a movie slide wit white paint.



anbuend
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21 Jul 2008, 12:05 am

MsTriste wrote:
Looking back, saying the wrong thing and/or saying it in the wrong way and/or in the wrong context, is the basis for most of the countless times I've screwed up relationships with family, friends, coworkers.


Oh then there's the wrong way.

Which was far worse when I spoke because... it's like I had to have iron control of my tone of voice, to keep it from veering off in some direction that someone would find offensive. And then if I slipped up for one moment, people got mad. I don't know how most people control their tone of voice as effortlessly as they do.


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RedSands
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21 Jul 2008, 7:24 am

One time in college this girl I was dating casually got really pissed at me and refused to speak to me. I never found out why, as she ignored me whenever I tried to find out.

Finally, I got pissed at HER, and just gave up.

Unfortunately, that is only the worst, and not the only instance that comes to mind. I think that maybe the best thing to do is to play the strong, silent type from now on.



beef_bourito
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21 Jul 2008, 8:07 am

i once made a joke about a girl who was in the group conversation that didn't go over well. i teased her a bunch, we had some banter going back and forth, all in good fun, but i overstepped that line and didn't realize it until the next day when she was completely ignoring me. it's funny, looking back, how many signals she gave me that year that she liked me but i had no idea.



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22 Jul 2008, 12:28 am

I have so many problems with this. Sometimes to the point it almost makes me have a meltdown, depending on who it is. I just freak out about and it gets so old because I feel this way a lot. Makes me not want to talk at all. And since my DX I talk less because I know what makes me that way now, and no matter how hard I try it still happens, so I've kind cut back on that in a rather humble manner.