Should you tell people that you're autistic/ have AS?

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People here are probably tired of me talking about this but I'm still obsessed with wondering if I should tell the guy I work with I have it. I've posted on here before about it and was advised not to tell him but the situation has gotten worse. I'm pretty sure he has it and if I knew for sure he did then it would make it easier to let him know. It's not that I want him to know I have it, it's that it is so over-dramatic between us and so intense that I can't handle it hardly.

Sometimes he avoids me or walks the other way when he sees me and it just creates so much anxiety for me I can't hardly work, it almost makes me feel like I'm having a meltdown, almost. Now I've shut him out, can't look at him, can't say hi to him. I guess the whole situation is my fault as far as the awkwardness and how he reacts towards me but I don't know how to let him know what I really need is for us to be more natural and if he can do that then I could stop feeling like I need to explain myself to him all the time through notes and maybe I wouldn't be so weird when he comes near me.

I know people here say don't tell and if it was anyone else I wouldn't dare. But I am desperate for him to stop treating me the way he does because I think I've scared him. I can see why because I use to try to pretend to be outgoing, before my DX, and I don't think he likes people like that. My friend and sister say give him the letter though because the only thing that can happen is he'll get even more distant. But I kind of see it like if I tell him, maybe I can let it go after that. He'll either accept me that way or not at all.

I'm also trying to change my attitude towards having AS. See it as an advantage and someday get involved with helping parents of kids with AS. I can't keep it a secret if I do that so I have to start somewhere. I just can't decide if I should just deal with the anxiety and pain and wait till I quit that job or go ahead and give him the letter and expect the worst reaction but be done with it.

I'll mention it if it comes up in a conversation, or I have to defend myself.
I'll also mention it offline if I want to explain that I'm not good with conversations.

I wonder if this is similar to a gay person before the Gay Liberation and Gay rights movement occured. Maybe that's what we need...an Aspie Liberation where we all come out of the closet and reveal our AS with Aspie pride. Lol. I'm sorta kidding but it could happen some day.

I would not tell people you have it because they can use it against you. You might say something they don't like and they will use your autism instead. I find that real annoying when some people do that to me.


I think this can also happen in real life too so I would not tell anyone if I were you. You have to make sure you trust them well enough. But I would not tell people at work or people who don't know me well. I would tell close friends only, especially your own partner or spouse.


Also people might look at you as a lable instead of as a person. They might also say "you have aspergers (or "you're autistic"), you're supposed to be doing 'this." See, looking at you as a lable.


I think the reason why people don't believe you is because they probably think autistics can't use the internet because they are unable to or because you come off as normal to them. Well this is the internet so of course everyone is going to come off as normal. We can only tell they have problems if they say things about themselves that make them come off as having a condition just by what they are saying.

The trouble is that it is sooo hard to say it, cos your afraid of being mocked....

This is an excellent and very sensible response. Thanks for putting it so clearly.

"Be yourself - no matter what they say" (Sting). I've seen it in some post, but I also like this song.
I think you don't need to tell it to everyone, only to those whom you trust, or something like "Ah, yeah, just very special" if you're told that you're strange. People often consider autism to be an illness 'cause they know nothing about it. Any "ISM" sounds suspicious and repulsive for them, especially if they don't know the meaning.

I wonder how I would have reacted if someone told me they had it before I had ever heard of it. And how did the self diagnosed people come up with the idea they have it? If you told someone you have it who you think they suspect has it then how will they know they have it? It might be a way for someone else to discover it in themselves. I don't know.

Well, I am self diagnosed probably 'cause I had no chance to visit a GOOD doctor. I just found myself to be very different from those whom I met and some articles convinced me in that. And then I found the WP where people say things I am thinking and worrying about.

I was diagnosed by Professor Michael Fitzgerald who is an expert on autism in Ireland so I'm not self-diagnosed. I have a letter from him as proof of this. Its actually the letter he sent to my GP and he also sent a copy to me.

Self DX comes from a lot of different routes... lack of knowledgeable or competent doctors in a location; lack of insurance or money for testing; no need, due to adaptation or due to no practical benefit found. I discovered it when my son was diagnosed; had been seeking help for years without being able to identify what was causing problems... now I can, and am trying to find someone who can confirm or eliminate the possibility.


M.

So why do you have "Not sure if I have it or not" in your profile?

I joined before I got the diagnosis and I haven't bothered to update my profile since. Sorry for the confusion.

I tell people if both of the following conditions hold:

1. I already know well and am friendly with the people involved (as opposed to an internet forum where a lot of people don't know you)
2. The topic of Asperger's syndrome/autism comes up, which I consider an appropriate precedent to mention that I have AS

When both of these hold, what I find is that usually a) the other person is a bit surprised and b) will consult me about anything related to autism or AS. Both somewhat flattering to me. And these are also the circumstances in which people are the least likely to get judgmental and/or uncomfortable with me. That's all I can suggest.

Why no say, easyly:

I am a person .. that is all, something different.. Not good about talking about "illness", even if you know it is not illness.

If you are "different" as Ill, you get a stigma, and only a few "people" will answer gladly.

Better have an AS PLANET... Enjoy

The problem is you must self control, if you do, you get no probs, not nice copying NTs, but if you go to china or korea, you would control yourself also, not being unpolite!! !!

You are in an foreign country indeed, but do not say everybody "well I am strange(foreigner)

That is good for all "illnesses" and all blind, deaf, etc.... different ppl.

Search your way into happiness ... fight it!!, You have not to explain to be happy... build it!!
you have not to ask for space or happiness, you are a human being and you deserve it...for everything,
I have not seen bill Gates saying he is AS, or any other ppl....

If you got to say it to yourself, and you stand it.... that is the best .. you can do lots of things knowing where your errors and faults are!!. Self-Awareness if the motor-way

You shouldn't be open about it because people either won't believe you and think unfairly low of you or they will have complete misconceptions about you. Why would you need to reveal that information to anybody anyways?