Killing gods and monsters, so that I can live.

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Quick, break out the butterfly net! Don't let her get away!
This one is armed and dangerous and is corrupting our youth!

Good thing we're on the internet.
I was tempted to say, "thank god for the internet."
But this "blessing" didn't come from any of the old gods.
Just like the wheel, fire, and everything else that's worth having,
the internet exists because of people who are not afraid to come out of the box.

You seem to express yourself very well through metaphors. It's just a bad time for you right now I guess. Luckily nothing lasts forever, not even emotions that seem eternal at the time.

It's not a "bad time." It's a process.
A controlled demolition and a rebuilding.
Time alone won't fix the problem.
You have to kill the gods before you can move on.
It is an act of emotional violence.

Have you gotten couselling or therapy for this problem? Seriously, no does this alone. Killing your parents is a big job.

That part is ancient history.
I'm just killing gods now.
Which gods should I ask for advice or assistance?

Maybe the jail-break marriage would help.
Find someone bigger and stronger who can take me away from all this.
Only to find that he's an even bigger bully.

So why exactly are you posting this? The forum is named "General Autism Discussion", so what´s the matter? You say you´ve metaphorically killed your parents, so what? What do you want, I really don´t get it

Sometimes you don´t even notice that this site is an autism-forum...

What exactly do you mean when you say, "I am just killing gods now"?

i understand its a complete holdback on every second of your life also for people who didnt understand this its a metaphorical probbely you all know wat metaphorical means

Still, this thread is absolutely pointless...

It's all about Asperger's. It's just so complicated, you have to take a little piece at a time.
Rice pudding, bad directions, the Matrix... It's all part of a huge puzzle.

The powers-that-be, whatever you want to call them, give the Aspie two choices:
You can become one of them, and be part of the problem,
Or you can be a basket case. I chose "none of the above."

I need to build a new model, starting with a foundation of "Do no harm."

Tools that can be useful: fairytales, fables, models, religion, science, anthropology, psychology, analogies. Herd mentality.

They can all be useful as long as you understand that it's just a tool. If it doesn't work, you are allowed to throw it back in the tool box. It will be useful again someday.

It becomes a problem when you need to defend it, beyond reason. When it says that you must hurt someone or allow someone to hurt you. When you forget that it's just a fairytale or an analogy. When it's no longer a tool, but a tyrant.

"Do no harm." I'm re-inventing the wheel, here. Moses tried it. Jesus tried it. Ghandi tried it. Countless others. It's not transferable. You just have to build your own.

Will they throw me out of the tribe or club? Absolutely. But they already did that anyway. Membership was never anything but a carrot on a stick.

I'm just thinking out loud here. You can tag along if you like.
Or point out flaws. Is this plank straight? Does it fit?

I think it doesn´t make any sense. Tell you why:



Well, obviously that´s the foundation of your thoughts. But you fail to make statements you can backup with evidence or any common sense.

1) "The Aspie" does not exist! You fail to realize that mankind consists of individuals, which makes this statement pointless.

2) There´s no "them" either. You simplify your reality which makes it easier to grasp for you, but your statement remains false.



So what EXACTLY are we talking about? I don´t get the connection between your last post, your initial post and the topic "autism". Maybe you could exlplain

Society does force people to conform, though. I'm aware that people as individuals have free will; but people in large numbers ("society") are shockingly predictable--so much so that sociology can be called a science.

This re-building is something most people do as they grow up, in their teens and early twenties especially. It's a way to hammer out your own identity, independent of your parents. As a child, your parents were a big part of your identity, whether they were kind or abusive. Good parents help you make your own identity as you grow; abusive parents force you to break free rather painfully, if you do so at all, because the very essence of abuse is fear, the subjugation of one will to another.

I understand what you're getting at, and I think your ideas are both very interesting and very well worded. It's sad that they're being rejected for how they're phrased alone. The best of luck to you in changing your situation and changing the world to how you see fit. Your principles sound like those that the world needs right now.

I'd ask what actually went down in your family, but I don't know if you are actually interested in talking about it. I'm glad you were able to detach from them and get emancipated.

As for myself - I detached from my mom easily enough. Now I can see her as just someone else who doesn't quite get it, but for a long time I hated her. She was against me in favor of some imaginary child she wished she could've had instead. She even told me when I was in middle school that though she loved me as a child, she didn't like me as a person because I was "difficult." She put me through things that were difficult and horrible so I would be someone else than I was. So I came to see her as one of them, one of the people who are normal and who have decided that normal means hurting people like me because we are not normal.

My father was harder to see in a bad light. He was creative and an oddball like me, and he appreciated or at least tolerated the things about me that mom couldn't stand most of the time. However, once he started drinking again, he became more disapproving, and everything fell apart when I was told that he was cheating on mom with her best friend. It wasn't that it was against mom that bothered me - it was the principle itself, defiling two relationships out of selfish desires. And then everything came to light, things I had not seen or understood earlier. In a way, it was much more painful than with mom, because I had held him in such high regard. And for that, I made it much more difficult. I learned how to beat him at his own game, and then once I had won, I didn't speak to him for over a year. I got back into contact with him, but now he's careful, and I keep my distance in some respects.

With both of them, I became extremely... tactical, one might say. At best, I was diplomatic, careful, trying to secure my interests while not stepping on their toes. At worst, it was all-out war, fighting to the very end and trying to utterly eliminate any sorry excuse for an argument they had. Perhaps it's not the optimal kind of family relations, but for a dysfunctional situation, it's far better than the alternative, which is trying to see a broken home as being pleasant and welcoming when it's anything but. People have called me cold for what I do and how I talk about my family, but between having so much respect for an idealized conception of "the family" that I ignore the problems of it in practice and doing what I need to get out still a whole person, the right choice becomes obvious.

It does seem pointless to post such disturbing images about how you are in some sort of anguish and then seem so reluctant to accept a kind word.

Sorry. I'm so focused on the one side that I forgot to look at the other.
I didn't really get that first post before.

I suppose social skills are good to have, even here.
I'm working on it.

I find it better not to reply to slowmutant, it just encourages him.