Female Friends

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I think I am going to start a relationship advice forum for people with AS, LDs and such...here's my first piece of advice for free: Stop being so negative. All I keep hearing is how Women only want this and guys are so that. Sure it might be partly true but relax and be yourself and you'll do so much better relating to others.
Second piece of advice; talk to a woman like you would talk to a friend, casually but not too relaxed. Avoid excessive cussing and dirty talk. And for god's sake don't go on about Star Wars action figures.
You'll do fine.

Speak for yourself! Some women like Star Wars!

I wholeheartedly agree with "Talk to them like you would to a friend", though. Romance always seems to go better when you are friends first and foremost; and if it doesn't get romantic, then--well, you've got a friend.

Don't try to hook up with somebody whose interests are completely different from your own. You'll just bore each other.

Well, yes some women DO like Star Wars...I have not met them yet...I kinda wish I did. Not because I am a huge star wars fan but more because at least it shows she has SOME cerebral interests. My last GF called Akira Kirosawa's "Ran" a "ninja movie" ....

Why me?

I have found that it's very difficult for straight men to have female friends. Just an observation. Straight female and gay male however, match made in Heaven.

every one can give advice it's taking action wich is the difficulty
i think every one knows tha girls don't care about star wars or computers (non-a.s. atleast)
and i acctualy dont know what people like about stare wars

There are female Aspies but they are rarer. Females tend to emote rather than think. Males tend to think rather than emote. Aspies tend to think rather than emote. So Aspie females often get comments like "You act like a gay male." ie they aren't acting like a female but they aren't as different as Aspie + male which is thinker + thinker. Since Aspie females don't stick out as much it is probable they are less likely to be diagnosed or feel different.

Studies have shown females have smaller brains on average and lower IQs (by about 5 points). My theory is they are more instinctual but if that is stronger than okay... (sorry just had to be said xD)

I wonder if there is any difference in the savant incidence. Marie Curie was probably a savant.

ttyl

^^
One has to wonder what, exactly, men are doing with all of that supposedly-superior brain mass.

Actually most of my friends have been female. Women are less intimidating to me as friends than men are as long as the friend barrier is never broken. I am insanely intimidated by women when it comes to romantic relationships. Fortunately none of my female friends have ever wanted more than friendship, but that is also part of the reason I have given up on making friends because that isn't always the outcome I want, sort of an internal catch-22 I have going on. I don't have to worry about all that macho posturing and crap that other guys like to do with female friends. Not that there weren't things that my female friends did that I found almost as annoying.

Becoming friends with females has never been a problem. Good hygeine and grooming, a healthy complexion, an agreeable dispostion, nice clothes, and financial generousity work for me.

Maintaining relationships has always been a problem. Free will (the ability to think for myself and make my own decisions), and lack of gullibility tend to put off those who are merely seeking someone to manipulate into providing a livelihood for them.

If a person can not provide honesty, respect, and trust in a relationship, then I don't need them in my life.

Basically all my female friends either like anime, video games, card games, role playing, or can hold a conversation about things like the influences of mythology in modern culture or varying theories of temperal mechanics. If not, well why the hell would I want her as a friend? We obviously dont share the same interests.

You just need to find a common interest, things you both enjoy, and boom friendship.

Hey, I'm a girl, and I find other ("normal") girls hard to understand and connect with! I've had a lot of difficulty with the lack of honesty in "girl culture," especially when it came to conflict situations, and it didn't matter who was right so much as it did who seemed more socially acceptable in ripping another person a new one. I also found a much greater tolerance for inconsistency and hypocrisy among other girls than among guys, without as many attempts to reconcile opinions and behaviors that contradicted one another. This I find annoying as well. Some have not been this way, thankfully. However, a fair amount of relationships, both with girls my own age and with female authority figures, have gone south for these reasons.

Unfortunately, ever since middle school, it seems a lot harder to have male friends that understand that they're just that and no more. However, I still tend to connect somewhat better with male authority figures and mentors than with female ones.

Yeah that is my experience, there was always some shared interest to talk about although the friend I had the longest had very different views on certain social issues, and religious issues and part of the fun was arguing about that until we would either find common ground or agree not to ever talk about an issue again.

I'll also add that in my experience female friends tend to actively pursue the friendship and work at it more where guys tend to have a take it or leave it attitude. Usually I choose leave it.

Most of my friends are female. Unfortunately, friendship is as far as it goes. And the few who do want to be more than friends are conservative.

From personal experiance, being female its much easier to make female acquintances because other girls are more likely to approach me trying to be friendly. My ability to make friends with girls verses guys is about equal. After a slew of experiances, I really dont trust very many girls. They'll make this false sense of being close when its not really there. I have a tendency to say things by accident that girls with take personally but they wont say anything about it unless things get bad. They'll just play stupid mind games. When you confront them, they'll deny that anythings wrong when there is something wrong. Therefore I have gotten confused and fustrated.

Thats actually kinda funny cause one of my closest friends is a gay male.

Last edited by princesseli on 21 Aug 2008, 7:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I once plucked up the courage to talk to a young woman at a target pistol club. We talked for several minutes and I thought that I had made inroads. The following week I was sitting in the gun club lounge when she arrived. I stood up to go towards her as she entered the room and,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,she looked straight though me. I felt very bad about it and we never talked again. Such is life.

If you need to pluck up the courage, it's never gunna work.

It's gotta be genuinely unforced - whatever the manuals may tell you.