For diagnosed aspies: Do you meet these criteria?

Post Reply New Topic

Not diagnosed. My attitude is "I'm an adult, I have a job and a house, I made it, what's the point?"

Anyway, I figured I'd give you my point of view on #3. I usually turn conversation back onto myself because that's what I know best. If you don't know something to be true, why tell people about it?
At the tender age of 35, I am learning to ask questions of people. But it's difficult, it's not the way I think. I always assumed it was due to the "intuitive thinking" aspect of my Myers-Briggs INFJ personality type, which I always associated with integrative thinking, a common result of which is the ability to figure things out without asking direct questions of people. Combined with the "never knowing if I am crossing a personal boundary by asking questions" thing.

Talking about yourself has a logic. I don't see anything wrong with it.

They all apply to me. Except I think over time I've gotten some better at reading what others are thinking/feeling.

1. Can you be more specific?
2. I don't like small talk, but I can do so if I have to
3. I don't engage in enough conversations to answer that question
4. I don't know about that
5. Not that hard
6. Yeah
7. Rarely
8. I suppose so
9. Some things, yes
10. Definitely yes

When I talked more in social settings my foot belonged in my mouth many times. Nowadays I don't have that problem because I avoid conversations with people outside my family. My family, however, notice that I am blunt and very honest without much respect for the feelings of others, or that is how I come across. I blame stress and anxiety. When I am anxious about something (this something is being around my family) I am prone to being much more oppositional, to blurt out things like,

"Boy that outfit sure does make you look heavier than you really are!"

I said that to someone the other day and I didn't think it was an insult at all, just a comment on an outfit I didn't think was very flattering on her.

So, if you get to know me you do notice these things about me but superficially, I am seen as very quiet and aloof around people I don't know.

They all apply strongly except 3, 7 and 10. The only one that may not apply is 7.

3. I'm socially aloof but this one has been true for me in the past

7. People act like they think I'm rude and they treat me rudely. I frequently get
told - it's your way or the highway. But if I take #7 literally then no, it
doesn't apply

10. I can make friends but I have trouble keeping them. Recently I can't make
or keep them

All apply to a greater or lesser extent, with the possible exception of #7 - I've learned to just shup up to avoid being unintentionally rude.

No to #5, though I used to get confused when I figured people out before they did.

Well because I had a history of speech delay, I got the dx of PDD-NOS thrown at me but I find myself to have AS a lot more than I do have autism. In fact I am thinking of getting a second opinion because I am hearing now, that even in certain situations with a speech delay history... a dx of AS CAN be possible. I am not sure how true that is and I am not sure what is really true anymore in regards to that. But this is how I relate to the list-

The ten characteristics are:

1. I find social situations confusing<-- as a kid definitely, in my teens I learned and now this is never an issue for me

2. I find it hard to make small talk<-- once again as a kid yes, but not at all anymore

3. I tend to turn any conversation back onto myself or my own
topic of interest<-- err yeah sometimes, but I try to correct that

4. I am good at picking up details and facts<-- always have been

5. I find it hard to work out what other people are thinking and feeling<-- no

6. I can focus on certain things for very long periods<-- if it interests me, definitely

7. People often say I was rude even when this was unintentional<-- yes

8. I have unusually strong, narrow interests<-- yes

9. I do certain things in a very inflexible, repetitive way<-- oh yes

10. I have always had difficulty making friends<-- when I was a young kid, definitely, not now

I am diagnosed and all apply me but seven. I was always overly cautious in saying the wrong thing.

The ten characteristics are:

1. I find social situations confusing
No/Yes/I don't know.
I find everything to be confusing, but the social aspect is usually following a certain pattern.

2. I find it hard to make small talk
No.
I do small talk that unusual and that nobody else does, but it draws people in.

3. I tend to turn any conversation back onto myself or my own
topic of interest
No.

4. I am good at picking up details and facts
Sometimes.

5. I find it hard to work out what other people are thinking and feeling
No.
Unless hereby is meant that hard = intellectually and with thinking about it.

6. I can focus on certain things for very long periods
No.
I sometimes have a short-attention span and I also get confused by sensory stimuli often.

7. People often say I was rude even when this was unintentional
Yes.

8. I have unusually strong, narrow interests
No.

9. I do certain things in a very inflexible, repetitive way
Yes.
Have to.

10. I have always had difficulty making friends
Yes.
I never made a friend. Others always made friend with me without my knowledge.

2 and 9 for me. I hate chit chat and it si a waste of time, I have tried to talk like them but it puts me off easily and find a way to get away form the people who are in for chit chat, try to do it with a smile.
Inflexible, don't know what I would have to look into it or perhaps it was stronger when a kid, don't understand so well the sentence, but yes, I was diagnosed and all 10 fit me well.

The ten characteristics are:

1. I find social situations confusing. I like small get-togethers of about 6 to 8 people; not humungous parties of dozens of noisy, smelly, rowdy people.
2. I find it hard to make small talk. I find it hard to maintain my end of a "small-talk" conversation.
3. I tend to turn any conversation back onto myself or my own topic of interest. Yes, it's whet I'm most familiar with.
4. I am good at picking up details and facts. [bYes. I just now learned how to use the "List" function.
5. I find it hard to work out what other people are thinking and feeling. Not so much, although assuming that all people operate from the center of their own self-interests is a good start.
6. I can focus on certain things for very long periods. That's never been a pro Ooo ... DONUTS!
7. People often say I was rude even when this was unintentional. Pointing out a flaw is always considered rude, especially when someone doesn't want it noticed ... like pastors, salespeople, bosses...
8. I have unusually strong, narrow interests. Not so much any more, although getting me motivated to do something interesting is a chore in itself.
9. I do certain things in a very inflexible, repetitive way. Not so much any more, although getting me motivated to do something interesting is a chore in itself.
10. I have always had difficulty making friends.Ahh, who needs 'em? Buncha hypocrites and lager louts, anyway...

Thanks to everyone for your responses. Very interesting.

It seems to me that this poster might throw off some people who really do have AS.

The ones that definitely apply to me are in bold. The "somtimes / maybe / not sure" ones are in italics.

I am diagnosed and all ten apply to me.

There were times in my life when I would have met all the criteria. But, I like to do things differently and not in a repetitive way, unless I find a great system of doing something. Usually I prefer experimenting with new ways of doing things or I like changing the room around a lot.
Also, #10 is a bit off because although I find it easy to make friends, it's not easy for me to make sincere friendships. I've had loads of friends but not many were trustworthy and I can't honestly say we had a lot in common or that I really enjoyed there company.
Maybe I pushed people away and had unrealistic expectations of what friendship was supposed to be. When I was 7 yrs old I had great friends. But, when I was a teenager they were more like drinking buddies and I didn't trust most of them because they all seemed to be looking out for number one. Also, I prefer not having a bunch of friends because I don't miss the drama and I'm too busy with my own life.