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SabbraCadabra
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31 Aug 2008, 12:37 pm

I can make short bursts of eye contact, but then I go right back to looking away, so it's probably just as bad as none at all. I have no idea how much "30% of looking away" equates to...or whatever number it is :roll:


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ChristinaCSB
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31 Aug 2008, 1:20 pm

I think mine has got worse over the years, I think it's because the older I get the more I'm my own world. I mean don't get me wrong, in a lot of ways I have got better, but eye contact is something I don't like to do.



lemurs366
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31 Aug 2008, 3:52 pm

i suck at eye contact. the last time thet i can remeber doing it was with a very understanding aunt, who knew abnout my problems, i dont think i did it for very long



Programmer
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31 Aug 2008, 5:25 pm

Flipmode wrote:
How many aspies here have had a significant improvement in eye contact. What was the cause of it?


I now conciously stare at noses. NTs can't tell the difference. Then I "sneak a peak" into the person's eyes to attempt to discern how they are feeling. My long term goal is to be able to read eyes from these snap shots but I haven't been doing it long. Sometimes I get an idea of how the person is feeling sometimes not.

I have also noticed a lot of high intelligence NTs have eye contact issues as well. Or possibly you start showing Autistic symptoms if you are over a certain IQ.

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AngryJessman
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31 Aug 2008, 8:58 pm

I picked up on the No Eye Contact thing way before I was diagnosed, I try to keep eye contact whenever I notice im not looking, but yeah it's weird because I still don't believe it's normal to look a person in the eyes all the time while talking, a couple years ago I used to look at their mouth when they're talking, normally a person who I respect more I would give alot more eye contact



lemurs366
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01 Sep 2008, 5:32 pm

wow, i always thought i was the only one who thought that eye contact was not normal. It just seems WAY too intimate for me.



gray_imagination
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01 Sep 2008, 7:09 pm

my sister was the cause. I can fake normalcy in that area now, not that anyone noticed other than her that I couldn't.

when I was about 15 (making her 10) she would yell at me about it any time she'd talk to me if I wasn't looking at her. I can't stand being yelled at, so, eventually she conditioned me to look at her when she was talking to me. After that, it was easier to look at other people in conversation, its even kinda natural for me now, in some cases.

there are exceptions. I can't look a guy I like in the eyes unless I try HARD. it has to do with trust, respect, intimacy, comfort, and politeness I think. I run on a different set of eye contact etiquette than the rest of America.


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jkm2
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05 Sep 2008, 10:38 pm

as a suspected NT I can say that to us eye contact is just a way of showing that your communicating with that person. Like you can look away for a sec for something else but every now and then just look back to show a person that your listening. Its kinda like a focus for your words.

Staring into someone's eyes is just werid. Like you make contact but you don't stare. If you stare than usually its because someone is being agressive and one person is trying to make the other stand down. Or you just like that person. But again don't stare, just look a tad longer.



Yaxkukmo
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05 Oct 2008, 7:56 am

I have actually overcome my aversion to making eye contact. Here's how I did it: I started wearing makeup and mixing and matching men's and women's clothing, i.e., basically I started cross dressing. What this did is it forced me to make eye contact with people because I had 'chosen' to make myself the visual focal point in any room I might be in. After doing this for about six months I found that eye contact did not elicit a threat response in me and I found myself smiling when NT's would catch my gaze and turn away as if the were AS. Not saying this will work for every guy out there, but it helped me. I still wear makeup and trans-clothing even though I am not gay nor fem. I just figure that if I am forever on the outside I might as well do what NT's can't: buck the norm.



Chaotica
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05 Oct 2008, 8:35 am

I always look at those whom I like, but when talking to strangers I look through them. I can listen looking into their eyes sometimes but when I speak I look down / through them / somewhere.



poopylungstuffing
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05 Oct 2008, 9:36 am

It takes a real effort for me. Sometimes I will practice on people. Most of the people I hang around don't make eye contact either though.....so it iwll be like wading through a small ocean before our eyes will uncomfortably meet for a few brief moments.
I think that Flakeys NT former business partner places alot of emphasis on eye contact and might possibly be of the mentality that people who don't make eye contact are lying or something.....so just to prove that I am not lying, i will make eye contact with her by looking at her nose...rather than have to explain the reason I don't make eye contact..



Reodor_Felgen
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05 Oct 2008, 9:48 am

I have learned adequate eye-contact.


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nicky
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05 Oct 2008, 9:58 am

i don't really remember how good or bad my eye contact was when i was a kid. i guess it never raised any questions, and nobody ever mentioned it, so it must not have been too bad. now, i can make eye-contact for the most part, but i can't very well if it's someone i feel to be in an athoritative posiotion (which can mean anything from a law inforcer to a fast food worker). i will often make eye contact and smile at NTs in passing, but the eye contact is very breif. if someone talks to me, and i don't know them, my eye contact is usually minimal. i do make eye contact, but only briefly.. and i spend most of my time looking around... if it's someone i know, though.. i make an effort to do it better, but sometimes feel like i'm looking for too long and look away, because it doesn't feel natural. it's awkward and i sometimes don't actually look at their eyes, but their nose or let my eyes go out of focus and just sort of look past them. it's harder for me to pay attention to what people are saying if i have to keep eye contact, but people feel like i'm not paying attention if i don't make eye contact.... it's such a pain. but when i do make true eye contact, i'm usually too busy analizing their eye color to pay attention to anything they might be saying. :lol: my sister gets mad at me for that... when she's talking to me and i'm staring at her eyes and then randomly tell her something like "a moment ago, your eyes were green with brown at the top, and now they've changed to blue with grean around the pupil..." and then realize i haven't heard a thing she said the whole time. :lol: (on a side note, my sister's eyes are facinating!!)


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ethos
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05 Oct 2008, 10:04 am

I feel like if I just do what I want and don't think about it I won't make eye contact at all, but in like a job interview when I'm really focused or I'm with someone I feel safe with, like the boyfriend, I don't mind making eye contact.



irishaspie
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05 Oct 2008, 10:12 am

i can make eye contact for a second...but usually i just lookbetween their eyes at their forehead ...no one notices really



mac266
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05 Oct 2008, 10:49 pm

I talk to peoples' foreheads a lot; it gives the appearance of eye contact and makes most people happy. Others see right through it, though.


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