how suicidal are you?

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this emo thing is making u digress from the actual topic but killing myself i honestly have thought about but never had the guts to do it which must mean i wanna live...

No longer suicidal, things have to be really really bad for me to feel suicidal even then it's only temporary. I have half-heartedly attempted suicide more than once.

I only attempted suicide once at 12, tried slitting my wrists. And never even thought about it again since. And yes I have been extremely low many times since then.. and I just retreated away from everyone, but never thought about suicide again.

for me I had been on my wits end with my job I was working at.. this job was worse for me then any because I went to work in the dark and came home in the dark as it was during winter and whatnot.. not only that but my boss irritated me beyond belief... he tried socializing with me so much, everything that i hate about people was what he did..

so anyways the day i decided not to go to work I went out and bought a heavy duty exapto knife (bad mistake) and a bottle of cough syrup (help me lord).. but i was so stupid.. when i went to cut my wrists the knife was way too thick.. I carved deep into my arms as deep as i could, but the other stupid thing was i shoulda done it in the bath but i didnt..
I drank the whole bottle of cough syrup which still gives me the heebegeebe's thinking about the taste (it tastes like liquid metal!).. ughh.. so i drank that and then carved up my arms but they didn't bleed enough. I still have a giant scar on my left arm that i hide from people and im scared they'll see it..
and also I fell asleep in the middle of this carving operation because the cough syrup knocked me right out.. so maybe i was meant to buy it and it saved me.
I fell into a coma that lasted 3 days and I was completely out of my skull.. my pupils remained huge for so long.. and the day i revived myself this guy frm work showed up at my door.. i told him i tried to kill myself and it was kind of awkward.. i hate thinking back to moments like that.
Needless to say, it's a raw and ugly experience, and ive never shared it in full until now really.
Meep Meep

Have you seen the movie Lethal Weapon? I like how Mel Gibson's character deals with being suicidal. This is such a sad topic but it is a reality that I wish none of us had to deal with.

It's okay to use humor sometimes if that be the case. My first suicide attempt was when I was 6. I tried to burn myself up to go be with my dead mother who wasn't in fact dead. I was only told so. At 14 slashed wrist, at 19 near lethal drug over-dose. Several other attempts mixed in as well. At this point unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be an option anymore. My days of having the courage to attempt to kill myself have seemed to pass, and that is rather disconcerting at times, to be sure.

I used anger instead of humor. I thought about suicide plenty of times. Not so much now. I have a suspicion that the universe hates my guts and is deliberately f*****g with me on a regular basis. So I must spite the universe by staying alive, since it would love to see me kill myself.

I think of suicide sometimes, but I'm not suicidal. There are many things to think of, but only few of them really worry or influence me. And there are few people who need me and whom I need, I live for them - and for myself.

I've been suicidal many times in my life starting around age 12. I have only had one minor attempt by slitting my wrist. It did bleed a little bit and that was all. That happened this year but now I want to live! There are so many good things that I just want to live but I don't know how long the good luck will last. If anything happens to my parents or my brother (like them dying) then I will kill myself. If my dad retires and we become poor, I will kill myself. But the way things are looking now with my art taking off and everybody loving it, I am 0% suicidal at this point in time. Back in February (my birthday was on the 19th and that is when I had to go to the hospital) I was incredibly depressed but now I am the opposite- almost manic but not where you sleep only one hour a night and feel completely rested with a whole bunch of energy. That is because I am on pills that make you tired all day long and want to sleep for 12+ hours if there is nothing going on the next day. I wrote down a whole bunch of goals for my art business last year when I was manic and now its starting to come true!! ! That makes me really happy.