Do meltdowns improve with age?

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Since I discovered I have Aspergers I've actually had more Panic Attacks/Melt Downs than ever [I would have them once a year when I was between 11 and 16] I was often so busy daydreaming to care for the bullies, and wasn't too affected by physical pain as a child, though it's probably deep rooted a lot of mental scars I just don't bother dwelling on. Went through a particularly abusive relationship and my dog died and started having much more between age 16 and 18 and this past year I've just been working my ass off filmmaking, writing and then have returned from travelling with my bestfriend recently. Found out about my Aspergers about a month before I went travelling and am still kind of adjusting to the idea and realising more about myself. I'm scared and hopeful at the same time, but have been very low in self esteem for a very long time, [probably from all the guilt of feeling so stupid/wrong in social situations, etc] so it has lifted a little of the guilt, which is good. I need to make a lot of changes in my life though, so maybe that is why my melt downs have increased. I'm 20 now and am hopeful about the future, and maybe your melt downs might be because of the reasons mine occur - so little self confidence and such low self esteem (in social situations) that you can't handle the stress of your confusion when things you say/do go wrong. It's not always your fault or theirs but you probably blameyourself either way I imagine... but what do I know, I'm still young and have so much left to learn, but I hope I've helped in some way atleast.

Francesca
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Being almost 40 I can say that meltdowns usually come less frequently, but the intensity remains the same. Although sometimes I go through times where it's like an active hurricane season, and times when it's less frequent. It really depends how much change is going on at a given time in my life. Change is the ultimate catalyst. Too much stress is another, but change is the ultimate stressor.

On the outside it appears that the meltdowns happen less frequently now than they did in my youth but I think the reason that it appears that way is that I'm too old now to kick things, beat up walls, or throw chairs across the room. I still feel like doing it, though; but I can't and so I don't. It makes the people who know me happier.

I have written numerous things on the net about coping with meltdowns. With me it's the fight or flight reaction to stress... If I can't fight, then I flee (possibly take a blind run). If I choose to fight, it could be screaming, tantruming (think 2 year old style), and self injurious or abusive behavior.

Over the years, my meltdowns have reduced in frequencies. Some of my coping mechanisms are to recognize my feelings. What is it that is upsetting me? How do I need to work it out? Chances are that thought will be on my mind and that stressor will be snowballing...

No matter how "minor" that trigger thought is DON'T try to rationalize myself out of that feeling... Often the worst meltdowns occur not because I am upset over something, but because I can't control the feeling I have about being upset over something. Rather accept the fact I can't control how I am feeling at the moment. Rather than trying to stop feeling upset, I'm best to just let go and try to shift my thinking to something else unrelated to the trigger, and keep doing that each time my mind wants to pull me back to the problem not resolved.

Eventually when I feel better I can try to return to the situation. If it makes me cry again, then time to repeat the process until I can attack from a better frame of mind.

If the stressor is an argument (seems I have more meltdowns at home than anywhere else), then I need to get the heck out of the situation the moment I feel like I'm in a losing battle. If the person continues to persist, I need to tell them to stop. If they don't stop, I need to leave again. If they don't then I may just lose it...


If the stressor is environmental, is it something I can change? If I can change it or resolve the conflict then try to do so. If it's something beyond my control, then I need to find something to distract myself. Also it helps sometimes if I can gain full understanding why the change is necessary. I may or may not agree with it, but if I can see the logic behind it, makes it much easier for me to cope. One of my frustrations is dealing with confusion. I don’t take confusion well at all. I _must_ understand the world around me… If you’re going to change my world tell me why.

If I'm stressed out I need to escape the situation and find something else to occupy my mind. Same thing if the stress is environmental. I need to get out of the situation. If I have to wait in a noisy building, I try to see if there is a chance I can wait in an abandoned office. If not then I try to find a distant chair... One of my frustrations is dealing with screaming children under 5... The squealing and screeching hurts my ears.

In stores: try to go at less busy times. Find a quiet aisle I can retreat to if I feel overwhelmed. Also try to get what I need and not spend too long.

Also pay attention to what my body is telling me. If my feet hurt, don't try to go on like I feel nothing. I think that's one of the misleading things about autism; that people feel no pain. I'm sure they feel it like I did, but tend to ignore or tune it out. There comes a point it can't be tuned out. Once that point is reached, it's too late. That may explain some of the unexpected meltdowns with many people...

i personally believe that they seem to think their way is only rigth way i have been even successed that they would lock me in some dark room if they believe i need to be restrained lol it would be nice to just stim and space out and take some time when over helmet we just dont have that kind of rooms in here but i guess i could look what options net offers anyway segufix offers allready some options of more freedom

Lessened, Almost immediately around age 12 when I came to be aware of a discomfort to a certain type of touch. Once I knew what it was i could prepare myself or avoid it.

In this case, and many others, knowledge is freedom for humanity.

Not sure, I have only just been DX'ed, so I am hoping that knowledge will help me avoid meltdowns. I had a couple of spectacular ones in public a year or so ago

No.

In term of my meltdowns being more loud and spactacular, yes they have gotten better with age.

For me it did. I've improved a TON over the past 5 years. Mainly by being aware of I have meltdowns and identifying when it's about to occur.