sudden shock

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I'm sorry - I had a hand in the off-topic stuff. I read your post but I got a carried away with analysing minor parts of it, and lost the big picture. And I got called away from the computer before I'd finished.
Mostly good stuff I hope, but should be on another thread.

I haven't often felt bad when seeing happy people. One time I'd not been long separated from my partner and one night the girlfriends of all 3 of my friends turned up at the same time, it just hammered it home that I'd got nobody special, I barely resented them, I knew it was my problem. It doesn't make me very mad to see wealth displayed, unless it looks very wasteful or decadent. But then I've not felt much economic insecurity, never really been all that poor. I'd like to be Robin Hood.

I can relate to that. I wish I had a magic wand to make all the bad people go away.
Can I join your gang?

Last edited by Tahitiii on 24 Sep 2008, 10:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

OK but I'm not wearing tights for anybody

I feel envy and lust for... anyone or anything, really.

That must be hard to cope with at times. The closest thing I've come to that was during very early puberty, I was relatively heterosexual but definitely lusted after females way outside the age range I was supposed to confine myself to. I think it was because I couldn't find anybody within the prescribed limits, so in desperation I broadened my horizons. As soon as I'd become a little bit successful within the proper boundaries, I was able to see that I vastly preferred girls around my own age, and took up the usual socially acceptable limits with a huge sigh of relief. It was somewhat akin to the stereotype image of sailors, if you know what I mean. When the drive for normal sexual expression is totally frustrated, it'll go onto the nearest substitute. The only pedophile I ever knew was similar when he was in his 30s - give him a girl of his own age, and his child porn would gather dust. He even tried to seduce me once, and he wasn't gay.

I was envious of anything nice that anybody else had, and went through a phase where I'd think nothing of stealing my friends' toys, when I was about 6 or 7 years old.

that seems wierd

I think I get this sometimes too. A sudden sad feeling in my stomach. Usually its when I see something I know I've never had or will have it. Other times I can see the same event and not feel that way. I don't think its envy in my case, more of a sad awareness of something I'll never have.

Twice in the last year I've experienced it - the first around Christmas time last year; a family eating a homemade meal; the wife had made paper decorations for their dining room - they'd left the curtains open. A couple of days before I'd seen the wife make the decorations as I walked by. The second watching a new kid to the neighbourhood approach the other kids and be immediately included in their games.

AAAARRRHHHH!! !! I went off topic again didn't I

I got back on topic by the end, and as usual somebody might find it useful, but I'm sorry for the bad netiquette. I was in a hurry and I just didn't notice the subject line.

I will redouble my efforts to stop doing that.