Christmas

Post Reply New Topic

I miss Christmas terribly because of the family aspect of it. I used to love being in a family, but when they don't want you enough to treat you with dignity and respect, you have to cut your losses (at least I did).

It's even harder because Christmas is my birthday. When I was a little girl my mother said "I'm sorry, sweetie, but the 25th is too busy so we'll celebrate your birthday on the 24th." Then in my early teens when we started going to the childrens' mass (and I started playing my flute at it) on Christmas Eve, my mother said "I'm sorry, sweetie, but now the 24th is too busy for your birthday, so we'll celebrate it on the 23rd". Then for my 18th birthday she said "I'm sorry, sweetie, but I want to have A&D over for lunch on the 23rd, so we'll move your birthday to the 22nd". Gee, should I just move out??? Actually, that was a good birthday because when A&D came over they brought red roses and a copy of The Paperback Princess by Robert Munsch.

Then after I had to cut myself off from my parents but still lived in my hometown my brother would go see a movie with me on Christmas Day in between family celebrations he'd go to. After a while I started to feel like a charity case and am glad we don't do that anymore (I live at the other end of the country, now, so I haven't seen anyone in my family for over a decade).

Last year on Christmas/my birthday my building manager played music super loud and I called the police to complain but they didn't do anything. Christmas cheer! Happy birthday! It always seems about me being nice to other people and never the other way around. When is it my turn?

I want Christmas to be my birthday first and Christmas after - I'm happy to celebrate Christmas with others as long as they put me before Jesus and celebrate me first (I'm not Christian). It's hard not having anyone to be with on holidays.

Those of you who are grouchy at family dinners, go ahead and be as grouchy as you like. It's practially a requirement for teens and young adults! But be grateful if you have a family to be with.

I'm wondering why they had to actually "move" the birthday. Maybe move some of the birthday events and keep others, blend any party into one?

I'm not at all religious and am utterly hostile to the whole commercial Christmas, which starts in September these days, I guess. But I enjoy the food and getting together with my cousins, who I only see a few times a year. We are a small family (getting smaller) and I enjoy them a lot more than I did as a teen, since they are more laid back now. One even has a boy who I suspect is an aspie. But these days my husband insists on recreating his family's Southern Christmas feast for my family, and I get a lot of second-hand stress from his yearly unrealistic expectations (and days of messing up the kitchen). He goes over the top trying to "recreate" a Christmas that never was (I've asked his parents about it). Both his parents are in very fragile health and I think he has misdirected motives here. I spent decades building low-stress holidays that I could actually enjoy, and he is beginning to drag me back into holiday-avoidance. Hopefully he will work this out more appropriately as his parents decline.

I personally love Christmas....I love the lights and the decorating...the FOOD. I spend Christmas with my immediate family only so its not so stressful for me. I think I get as excited as my kids do, I am just a big kid.

when it comes to holiday dinners, our family don't talk a whole lot, everyone is too busy eating. They only talk when it's time fo dessert, but I have left the table by that time.