Bad advice you've received

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Yeah the bullying advice was terrrible

Dont react - thats a good one because A. its virtuallly impossible not to finally have a meltdown
B. By reacting they then blame you for your black eye

The best 'worst' advice I ever got was to punch them on the nose, of course no one knew much about aspergers back then and the advice giver did not realise that I might not weigh up the person first. Of course the first person to abuse me after this advice just had to be the toughest guy in the school, did I get a beating that time.

Career advice - you love cooking become a chef, OMG 17 years of stress and meltdowns. On ASD help sites this is often listed as one of the worst professions for aspergers.

Ignore them. It's kind of hard when everyone makes fun of you.

Pretty much all advice I've ever been given has been utterly useless.

double post

"Ignore them." (No, YOU ignore them and see how you feel.)

"They're just jealous." (Although not really advice, but a lame excuse, I think it was somewhat true. I did tend to make better grades than almost everyone else. )

"Ask him out." (Great, thirteen months of my life, wasted on a nobody.)

"Relax, be yourself!" (An oxymoron if I've ever heard one!)
'Myself' is a tense, nervous, socially withdrawn person. Few people want to be around me when I am being 'myself'.
"Be yourself" means 'Be like everyone else and at the same time, pretend you're an individual.'

"Don't leave the house without makeup on." (Uhh, now I have strangers and weirdos trying to get my number. Ew, ew, ewwwww!)

My son has pdd-nos and the school says he is an Aspie. In first grade (the first time, we retained him) he had a bully. I NEVER told him to accept it. I taught him to fight back. It was never physical just being mean and getting friends to gang up on him. Whenever the kid picked on him I taught him to yell LOUDLY "Shut up Riley, I don't want to hear your mouth!) It worked for 2 weeks and we revised what he should do when things quit working. We also called the parents multiple times. The parents even went to the school and watched because of the phone calls and they agreed Riley was bullying him. We spoke with the teacher (who is awesome! We requested her again this year!) She did her best to keep them seperated. The problem is that Thomas didn't always understand the kid was mean. He would want to play with him. We worked on it and now he understands that when people are mean they aren't your friend. This year he is doing sooooo much better! He just went to his first non parent invited birthday party. I found myself hoovering when we got there, so I immediately backed up and left him alone and that worked great. I allowed him to be him and he (and I) had a ball. I'm learning how to help him and give him a great life. Any ideas on what I can do?

I've always told my son ( who is 7) if someone hits him to punch them in the nose. What should I tell him to do if someone hits him? We put him Karate but we pulled him becuase he started punching his little brother and sister. He's never been violent and he dosen't understand why he can hit in karate but not at home. We'll try again in about a year.

Good thread!

"You have to be strong" is one of my favourites. When everything's crumbling around you, giving you one more obligation is wonderful help.

"Get up and leave. Your pig of a boss doesn't deserve you." Funny, they really think that by becoming unemployed overnight I'm punishing anyone but myself? And that somewhere else it'll for sure be better?

Most people give advice they'd never follow.

I've gotten the "Ignore it and it will stop" advice many times, yet when I did ignore it didn't stop and worse when it didn't stop, I was blamed for it!

When my tormentor was female, I was told "she likes you." Totally ridiculous in my opinion. More devaluing what I had to deal with.

"Try talking it out"
One of the worst of all because it's usually in vain and doesn't accomplish anything, depressing and wastes time.
I have gotten this advice about neighbors time and time again and soooooo many times it has just made the situation worse. You cannot talk to irrational people, in my experience they cannot be reasoned with.
"People are the same everywhere, it won't matter if you move."
Sooooo not true. People are not the same everywhere, in my experience.

"Toughen up." Elementary school principal.

I have also been told "They are jealous." I don't see how that is bad advice.

"Just ignore it." Talking about the straps bothering me from my slip.

"You'll get used to it." My mother told me that when she made me wear these jean shorts and they felt real tight and heavy. I always took them off when she wasn't around. Luckily she never made me wear them out in public, only to school one time.

"Don't think so much"; "Don't think about it"