Perfectionism in Aspies/auties

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I used to be more perfectionist than I am now, but it's still strong. Somebody said a song that I sang sounded uncannily like John Lennon in places, and I was disappointed that it wasn't like that all the way through. As if it mattered.

I start things, like building a model airplane, and get disappointed at my ability to do it perfectly. It's sitting in a box on a shelf, two thirds done.

I had a big problem with this throughout school. When I did my projects and homework, they were outstanding. A lot of the time I didn't even start them though... there was too much pressure, because once I begin, I can't stop until there is absolutely nothing left to do and everything is perfect (I do the hyperfocusing thing).

I only feel the need for perfection in areas that I have at least a slight interest in. those change constantly though, so eventually it never led me to achieving good grades, I'd just loose all interest the moment I encountered an obstacle of some sort and I'd switch my focus to something complately different.

Interesting topic. My personal experience was (and still is) the inability to understand the concept of "good enough". This, of course, can really get you when you're working and need to provide output. As an engineer, I'd come up with a design, and think "Maybe I can re-route these cables and make it a shorter run". When doing R&D, I wouldn't be happy with submitting a proof of principle unless I was dead certain that it could progress to a prototype and then to manufacturing. And while spending time trying to get it just a bit better, projects were getting behind schedule and management was wondering why I wasn't producing.

I have a bunch more examples from university and such, but I'm sure you get the point.

Jonathan

"If you're not dead right, you're dead wrong."
- Jonathan Rast

I had another problem today

Well we were doing a test, and i didnt do it cos i was scared i was gonna fail at it

I cant face being a failure, i NEED everything to be correct, especially in maths (the subject i had a test in)

And i got depressed, and I had the usual 'your thick' and 'your gonna die in a gutter' 'go and kill yourself now you might as well' thoughts

^ That must be awful
And I don't see many cures for perfectionism on the Web either. If there's a teacher or a doctor you can trust, I'd tell them what's happening to you if you can. It's hard for a lot of Aspies to approach anybody for help, I find it really difficult, and unsympathetic people are only too common, but please try to find somebody. It's only too easy to slip through the cracks.

Hi,

Well I'm usually the teacher's pet...
When I was younger I used to answer all the questions the teacher asked....(only me!! !)
I guess this was because asperger's tend be more focused and have better concentration...
Aspies usually try to be perfectionists in their area of interest because of their difficulties in social skills...

I have collegues that are very smart but because in my profession there are so may sub-fields you just can't be perfect in all of them.... so there is usually someone who is better in something than you are....

I had a lot o difficulties in socialising with other people...
Given those dificulties I thought the only way I could get some attention from someone else was performing very well on school... This was the only way I could make people like me and admire me....

From my personal experience, when I began trying to work out with some of my dificulties in social interaction I felt that my obsessive behavior towards academic subjects declined a bit...
I started to enjoy spending more time with people and a less with books...
I go to group theraphy with people whom also have similar problems and in my opinion it helps a lot....

am autie [with no ocd],and am only a perfectionist in certain things,such as lining things up or cleaning.

Yes, I am a perfectionist. I have learned to overcome the more negative aspects of perfectionism, which actually led to poorer performance. However, if I do something, I don't want to do it halfway. As Roger Bannister said, "It was never good for my self confidence to do anything halfway."

At work, I strive to find at least 90 percent of the items on my Interlibrary Loan List. Anything less than that would be carelessness, in my opinion. On a few occasions, I have found 100 percent. That was exciting.

If I am passionate about something, I naturally want to do it to 100 percent of my ability.

I used to line up all my Troll dolls on my table in my bedroom unitl one day my mum enters my room and swipes them off in one fell swoop. That destroyed me enough to not give a crap about things like that.
I am a perfectionist and I find it debilitating. The biggest problems occured when I entered adulthood and expected my lovers to be perfectionists too.
The missus is somewhat lax in cleaning up after herself and that bugs me but I know that's my problem and not hers. Hindsight and all that!

Later Later

Perfectionism put me in the hospital with severe depression twice about 10 years apart after nearly killing myself with overwork trying to achieve the impossible. The first time I had been promoted to a position where I didn't know what to do, there were no written procedures and nobody had time to bring me up to speed, because of layoffs. The second time I was given far too much to cover while keeping up my personal standards. The harder and longer I worked, the more exhausted I got, resulting in a loss of efficiency, requiring longer hours and into the death spiral I went. I finally found an antidepressant that works for me without nasty side effects and I made up my mind to stay on a maintenance dose after the last trip. Good thing too, because things kept getting worse at that job and I would have been back in the hospital months ago without the meds.

School was never a problem. The requirements are pretty clear, so exceeding them is rarely a problem. Before college, I ran into a few classes that gave me fits, Typing class on a manual typewriter was a nightmare. I got a C in that. A in accuracy, F in speed. Getting A's in college was pretty easy once I had figured things out and had working routine. Usually by the time I got to finals I rarely needed more than a C on the final to get an A in a class.