Do you know what makes people reject you?

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A few distinct possibilities:

1. Androgyny.

2. Arrogance (both real and perceived).

3. Bluntness/calling it like I see it.

4. Pathological inability to be impressed by displays of "social dominance."

5. Am a nearly 30 year old virgin who collects action figures.

Most people who reject me do so because they're pitifully shallow individuals who base the value of a person's life upon how much they conform to the rest of society.

I used to obsess over this question. I've now given that up as a waste of time and energy because it's a very good way to get depressed. Besides, to my everlasting bewilderment, there are people out there who actually seem to like me for who I am. Yes, they are few and far between, and therefore hard to find, but I don't need much of a social circle and it's a blessing to have friends I can be my quirky self with.

Exactly! I also find it weird that the first thing people ask is "What do you do?" (for a living). When I was working, I hated my job with a fiery passion. The last thing I wanted was to be defined by it, and it's a classification question, no doubt. It's a little easier to answer now that I'm a student and enjoy what I'm studying. Still, it's a bewildering question.

There's a hidden imp in me that would like to answer those intrusive people who ask the "what do you do" question with ... "I write and paint and have wild sex with my boyfriend twice a day, play with my cat, and spend my spare time astral travelling. How about you?"

I've obviously been taking the "What do you do?" question too seriously...

Last edited by Lockheart on 14 Jan 2013, 3:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

Hard to say what "rejected" means. I don't really have friends. Is that because people reject me, or is it because I lack both the ability and initiative to even try to form connections with others, so I never even appear on their radar? Hard to say. Maybe I'll never know.

I do know I do some things that irritate people: 1) negativity, 2) my voice, 3) I often look irritated due to sensory overload, and people interpret this as meaning I am irritated at them.

I wish I knew why people reject me.

It may be because my body language, gait, expression (or lack of it) are slightly "off".

It may be because I'm not interested in the things most people are interested in. For other men the main one is sport. When someone asks me what football team I support and I say that I don't follow the sport they seem to take it as a rejection of them. I try to act polite and ask what team they support, how their season is going etc but by then the damage is done and they don't want to know me any more.

I've always thought that my appearance makes people reject me too - I'm not attractive so people don't give me a second chance.

I'm not "cool" either and I'm not rich. I sometimes wonder whether people reject me because there is nothing they can "get" from me.

Last edited by Falloy on 15 Jan 2013, 1:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

This is me exactly. I used to think, and still think in part, that it's appearance based, especially when guys treat me like I'm invisible (which is pretty much always). I've also had people dislike me and look down on me from the moment they met me, so I couldn't think of any other reason. I don't necessarily think I come across as arrogant, just awkward and shy. But even when I'm doing my very best to be friendly, I still get rejected, and it's then that I'm really confused about why, I feel like I give off some indefinable loser aura that makes people just take one look at me and decide I'm not worth their time.

Well, clearly I say the wrong things or fail to say the right things, because about 20% of the sentences I offer to people I don't know well elicit an appalled stare. It's a pretty obvious one, because I'm not good at reading faces but this is unmistakable. Now, what is wrong with what I say or what I was supposed to say, well, I haven't figured that out and I probably never will.

They generally treat me decently until I get to the first of these "wrong" statements; however, this happens in any conversation longer than a few phrases (and sometimes in shorter ones). Well, except when I was fat or when I was a kid with frizzy hair & thick glasses. Back then they treated me badly from the get go.

I have a pretty good idea, but I could be wrong, of course. It is probably because of my atrocious social skills. I am awkward to be around, so people frequently avoid me. I am assuming that is why. I didn't know this until people began to point out how weird I was though.