What aspies/auties wish NT's knew.

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pandd
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07 Jan 2009, 9:48 pm

KevinLA wrote:

AmberEyes wrote:

When is the "appropriate time to laugh" anyway?

When something is funny.

Otherwise, laughing is inappropriate and eventually will alienate you with other people.

Whether or not something is funny is subjective. Plenty of people think that Adam Sandler is very funny, plenty of people think he is not. Neither group is wrong, he's funny to those who find him funny, and not funny to those who do not find him funny.

Liverbird
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07 Jan 2009, 10:08 pm

I would add in reference to spouses or significant others and workmates:

I don't leave a mess on the counter, sofa, floor, table, etc. on purpose or specifically to annoy you, I get distracted and forget.

I'm not unsympathetic, I just don't care about the same petty crap you do.

I can laugh at myself. I know that I take things literally, that I tend to see things in very black and white terms, and that I'm clueless about 50-75% of the time. I can see the humour in it. Don't treat it like some huge faux pas that can never be fixed. Laugh and I will laugh with you (do I always get why I'm laughing? NO, but being truly autistic, I'll follow a lead. I am high functioning!)

I don't take things literally because I'm stupid or any of the other choice words that people like to replace that word with. I usually take things literally when I'm distracted or not really paying attention to what's happening around me.

If I don't seem like I'm being myself, I probably have something going on in my brain that I can't deal with. Being a good listener and helping me to cope with the issue goes alot further then treating me like I'm just being a purposeful b***h.

I have a great sense of humour. It might not be yours, but it is still a sense of humour. I'm sorry that you don't understand Monty Python and that intelligent humour goes over your head. Perhaps you are the one that's stupid?

No, I'm not crazy because I have to have things a certain way. I'm not crazy because I know that you moved something on my desk. I have to be WAY super organised to function at work and you mindlessly fiddling with my stuff makes me crazy, I was not crazy prior to that happening. I am not nuts or weird because I am WAY organised, it's my coping skill so that I can work with you unorganised filthy people.

I don't cope with stress the same way as other people. Someitmes I do have what you might consider "inappropriate" reactions to things. I can't help it, and I'm not acting weird on purpose. I realise that the way that I react can seem strange to you, but it works for me. I sometimes have to lock myself in the bathroom for a few minutes and flap and cry in PRIVATE. I don't need you standing outside the door asking me if I'm okay or if you can do something. Even my boss has learned that if I can't cope and I want intervention, I will tell him "I need help". You are not helping me when you touch me, hug me, wipe my face, or any of those other weird grooming habits that you do to each other when you are upset.

I'm sorry, did I go off on a rant there? I didn't mean to. I just want to scream these things at people sometimes.

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KevinLA
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07 Jan 2009, 10:28 pm

pandd wrote:

KevinLA wrote:

AmberEyes wrote:

When is the "appropriate time to laugh" anyway?

When something is funny.

Otherwise, laughing is inappropriate and eventually will alienate you with other people.

No one is going to alienate a person who thinks Adam Sandler is funny.

However, there are things that are not considered funny that some people will laugh at that other people will think, "Ok weirdo."

That is what people with AS can not stay away from. I am sure there has been a time that you were with a group of people and you laughed at something that everyone else didn't find funny.

People with AS have an unseemly view of the world.

And I don't want to hear the tired argument, "What is normal?". By definition, people with AS are not normal.

the_enigma
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07 Jan 2009, 10:38 pm

Quote:

And I don't want to hear the tired argument, "What is normal?". By definition, people with AS are not normal.

Thank you! I'm tired of that idealistic BS rhetorical question people try to pull too. Thank goodness for realistic, concrete thinking!

Warsie
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07 Jan 2009, 11:24 pm

the_enigma wrote:

Quote:

And I don't want to hear the tired argument, "What is normal?". By definition, people with AS are not normal.

Thank you! I'm tired of that idealistic BS rhetorical question people try to pull too. Thank goodness for realistic, concrete thinking!

PROTIP: it's not 'idealistic bs' and rhetorical. That's a VALID statement/question especially given what is 'normal' is a FLUID CONSTRUCT depending on Society!

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Padium
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07 Jan 2009, 11:27 pm

I wish they knew me for who I am.

MyWorld
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08 Jan 2009, 4:34 am

KevinLA wrote:

A lot of these views are flat out wrong and not based on reality. I will address all of them.

1. We don't lack empathy-we just have a hard time showing it

> People with AS don't have the same amount of empathy as NTs. People with AS are lacking a certain amount of empathy.

2.Not all of us are math genius

> Who cares?
I do. Other wise I wouldn't have posted it.

3.We have sense of humor-sometimes its different from yours

> Humor is objective. You portray humor as being subjective. Something is funny, or it is not.

People with AS don't have a sense of humor. Just because people with AS laugh, doesn't mean people with AS have a sense of humor. People with AS laugh at inappropriate times.

4.Some of us are capable of lying-we also happen to value honesty

> People with AS are still too honest. Honest to our own detriment.

5.Not all of us have superior memory

> Who cares?

6.We can be creative

> I have no creativity whatsoever.
I wasn't just talking about you.

7.Not all conversations that we hold are only about our interests

> Most are. To our detriment.
But "not all."

8. We can have friends-its just harder for us to make any relationships

> Having friends is difficult the way we think and act. Anyone can have a friend. So what?

9. We can hold a job

> I am 37 years old and on federal disability living with my mother. All because of AS related disorders. For the most part, employment is difficult for us.
Makes me feel better since you can't post without offending someone.
10. Not all of us are concrete thinkers-some of us can be analytical

> For the most part, not true.
You just proved my point.

11. We can live independently-but it may require some guidance

> Living with guidance is not living independently.

12. Holding eye contact is possible for some

> But not for most.

13. It's not always easy to take advantage of us-its possible for some of us to tell if you're an ass

> Most people with AS are easily manipulated.

14. We're not retards-Asperger's/Autism/PDD-NOS is just a different way of thinking

> Horsesh*t. People with AS are social ret*ds. The way people with AS think is dysfunctional.
You certainly are.

15.We all different,just like you're different from others-we don't just fit into one category, so don't stereotype

> People with AS are different. People with AS are strange and uncomfortable to be around.
Not everyone with AS is uncomfortable to be around.

16.Not all of us have ADD/Bipolar/Schizophrenia/Dyslexia

> A lot do.
But not all

17.Autism/Aspergers can have its advantages-some of us don't want a cure or won't care for one

> Mostly disadvantages. There are more advantages to being NT.
It depends on the person. I like to look at glass half full.

Just because you say "some" or "not all" doesn't mean something doesn't define a person with AS.

[b]
Actually it does. I asked that if you reply, you be nice about it. Instead of sucking on your mom's tit, why won't you get off your ass and do something worthwhile instead of bitching at me.

Uranus
Toucan
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08 Jan 2009, 5:17 am

Quote:

...And I don't want to hear the tired argument, "What is normal?....

Skip this post then. :wink:

It would be normal if the majority of people had it and that the majority agreed that it was normal. :idea:

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