Do people try and manipulate you due to lack of social skill

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Nope.

Everybody's looking for something. No reason they have to get it from me, especially if they want it for free.


Actually, I did, but from the opposite perspective.


"Tells other people about how awful you are and the nasty things you've done, especially if they are the kinds of things they hate - whether or not you've ever done any of them!"

*&^%$#@ backstabbers...

You would charge someone for your understanding?

Sometimes they even do it in front of you, saying and/or doing things that will make you look like the bad guy no matter what you do.

Some time ago when I was with a group of friends, a guy who was obviously up to no good tried to manipulate the most naive girl of the group into doing something bad. I talked to him quite angrily and his response was to say a bunch of pretty words (which were so obviously just words) and then offer me his hand for a shake. If I accepted it'd be like I was agreeing with him, if I didn't I'd look like the spoiled kid and he as the victim (although I didn't know it would be perceived that way at the time - I only learned it later when my best friend of the group told me how negatively my refusal was taken by the others...).


For me as well, it seems so obvious that they are doing the same thing but everyone reacts completely differently. I have ascertained, though, that this is because of the way they speak, their confident-sounding tone and their words ; these things affect the NTs but we don't even understand them. If you think it this way, NTs are sometimes more susceptible to being manipulated than Aspies.


Truly wise words sir, I wish I'd heard them sooner. Do I have your permission to make them my signature?

Not really.

I'll take their money, with the understanding that they are stupid enough to believe that understanding can be bought.


Go for it. Although I request that you use the full form, and give me due credit, as follows:

"Never mistake niceness for interest, interest for friendship, friendship for committment, committment for love, or love for forever." -- Fnord

I had people try to mulipulate me as a kid but as an adult I find most people seem to fear me. I wonder what is so scary about a 21 year old female?

I think people with AS can be very easy targets for manipulative types for so many reasons.

I always had a habit of being 'adopted' by very socially savvy and domineering individuals. One girl in particular was very manipulative and took advantage of my social difficulties, good nature and loyalty. I would lend her money and do her favors that would never be repayed. I honestly never cared about having anything of a material nature returned, since I thought this was the sort of things friends did for each other, but a little respect wouldn't have gone a miss. I was aware of all this after a while, but was afraid to speak up about it for several reasons - I didn't want to lose her as a friend, as she helped me navigate the social landscape. I was also afraid of how she would react to my reproaching her, since she was so erratic and aggressive. She would have either punched me in the face, went out of her way to make sure I was alienated in school further or played mind-games.

I think I was only fortunate in that I recognised the manipulation. I think alot of people with AS might be oblivious to it in the first place.

I haven't been manipulated by anyone since I was a kid. Even my mom would do it every now and again. these days... nobody's tried to manipulate me. I guess its because most people I come in contact with are afraid of me. Probably because I'm a 6 foot 6 inch tall african-american who looks like he could pulverize someone.......I don't know (of course I don't like to fight and I'm not aggressive).

I used to be manipulated in high school by a girl. She was in my class and I would help her with the tests. I was a good student so it wasn´t a big deal for me. We had tests every week and I would sit next to her and allow her to look at my test. Yes she cheated, but I didn´t. The weird stuff was that she was the principal´s daughter, lol!! ! Did I felt bad about it? No, I knew she used me but she was a girl so it was nice having her around. Besides she had other friends whom I also used to chat.

lol
Indeed we don't.

Yes, all the time.

I had more than one boyfriend that was quite manipulative/narcissistic. I used to be very susceptible to that.

Only at 29 I grasped the idea of people lying, manipulating, hurting people and pretending to be something they were not, on purpose. And only because someone had been doing that to me consistently over the last years and explicitly told me that he manipulated me and other people on purpose to hurt me. I was shattered, my world view collapsed with this new realisation. I didnt trust people anymore when I started to notice how often they actually do this.

Right now I more often see through it. It varies a bit how susceptible I am. Sometimes very and sometimes not at all, when i see through it, to the annoyance of people trying to get me to coöperate with their goals. I am still vulnerable to "bad" boyfriends though.

I have also learned to lie a bit at 29, which I am not proud of, but which seemed necessary at the time. Strategical thinking and manipulation are still difficult for me though. I feel very much ill at ease with it morally and I just cant seem to do that. I lack the skills and I feel bad about it. I tend to be very open and vulnerable and unstrategical.