Trying to get an aspie to act NT.

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Every time that somebody tried to get me to act NT, there was a big argument, and those people gave up on me, which is just as well, because I only live my life for myself. Those people weren't understanding of my AS and unique personality, and I'm better off without them. I think that trying to get and Asper to be more NT and mainstream is like pulling teeth.

But they are, especially if they want to keep that job they finally figured out how to get. When you are different, people pick on you period. Now, I heard engineering is a good field to get into where the ecclectic is more accepted, and I've heard many Aspies work for NASA.

As far as conforming, I think Aspies try very hard, but it doesn't always work out right. It's so hard to tell if someone's reaction is because you are aspie, or if it's a normal reaction. I think the other hardest part is that NT's have completely different motivations, so no matter how hard an Aspie strategizes, it's like trying to play Chess against someone who's actually playing soccer. Some of our strategies will work, but we're obviously not playing the same game. Unfortunately, it's easier to teach someone to play soccer than what I'm talking about here.

Wasn't Werner Von Braun thought to be Aspie?

They way I see it is this:

Fine. Act prototypical. There isn't anything really wrong with it. Just DO NOT dump on the other Autistics who would honestly not like to pretend for ever.

How come I've been expected to then?
This is the story of my life.
How come I've been told that I was "normal" all these years?

I see nothing wrong with learning to communicate to share experiences with others. I've learned many things from other people and vise versa.

However, I wonder if my magnifying glass like focus isn't hindering my social progress. It's great for looking at and examining how things work, but for socialising?

Oh dear, this is probably why I find group work and chatting so tough.

I'm a woman, so I'm just expected to "get it" immediately. No allowances are made. If allowances are made, people start to treat in a patronising way, so I can't seem to win.

It's so frustrating being able to study and anlayse something only to find that I find difficulty voicing my opinion in a large group discussion/"cocktail party scenario. There's no proper focus for me to "zoom in" on.

Maybe because sometimes people do things they shouldn't?

Or maybe because different people have different ideas of how things should be?

My uncle got married to a woman in 1972 and my dad told me that was before he accepted the fact he was gay.

This idea is simply a recipe for disaster. An Aspie cannot be, or even act like an NT. It's an excersise in futility. I agree with the first person who responded to this thread. Its EXACTLY like asking a gay person to be straight. It just won't happen.

I know you are trying to fit in, but seriously if you don't get accepted as yourself then you should move on. Don't dare be anything apart from yourself. So what some people have problems with Aspies. SOW WHAT? It's their problem. If they don't understand then its nowhere near your fault. You are perfect as you are. If it aint broke, don't fix it. You shouldn't have to be expected to change who you are just for someone else's benefit. No. As a fellow Aspie I ask one thing of you. Just one thing. Just be yourself. Don't be afrraid to learn to love yourself. If someone doesn't like it, then it's their problem. End of story.

Some people are bisexual, and some people have both aspie and NT traits.

I totally get that analogy. I personally am only "mildy" autistic, however I despise bisexuality. I believe its just an excuse to be greedy. Again, I'm not attacking anyone in particular, just stating my opinion about the idea of bisexuality.

The point to this is that unless you arent completely restrained by autism, then theres no point in trying to straddle the fence.

I used to try to act "normal" for awhile.
1) I'm pretty sure I failed miserably.
2) It's an act I can no longer keep up.

Some people can, some people can't.

I can't stress enough how important it is to be yourself. Besides, there is no such thing as "normal". I urge you to consider the fact that you are the person that you are, and you shouldn't betray that, just coz you feel others would like you more.

We call that peer pressure. The idea that you would fit in if you surrender yourself to the ideals of others. "We won't let you in until you turn into one of us."

Ridiculous. Trust me. Just be yourself. That is the most important thing. I'm sure you would rather fail as yourself than succeed as a clone of someone else, or even worse someone else's expectations of what you should be.

^Trust me, I agree. Trying to be "normal" did nothing to/for me but bad things.

I tried to act NT for 50 years. Now I can't work anymore. It burned me out.

I would rather have known years ago that I have AS. I would have been able to accept myself as a quirky, passionate, eccentric, Aspie artist instead of trying to fit into the straight NT world for so many years.

I will use the conventional social skills I've learned for the sake of harmony and being able to help people in my volunteer endeavors, which I enjoy. But I limit my time significantly. Two hours a day of volunteer work in the community and my hypersensitive nervous system is done.

There's a big difference between attaining some social skills so that you can create the life you want, and trying to act NT all the time. Lots of us diagnosed late have spent are lives trying to act NT all the time because we desperately wanted to be like everyone else. And the worst of it is that trying to "act NT" goes directly against our Aspie love of authenticity and honesty. Unless you enjoy the feeling of having your arms pulled out of their sockets in either direction, I don't recommend living at odds with yourself that way.

50 years? Ouch.
I couldn't even do it for four years.

Which people?

I'd be grateful if you could elaborate please.
Thanks.