How Come I can Communicate Better by Typing?

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I definitely communicate better when typing. No visual contact, and I can think about what I'm saying. I can also decide a sentence is a bad idea after writing it, and just not post it. I estimate less than half of the stuff I think about posting actually gets posted...

I have the same problem.

First I talk in circles because my mind has a general idea of what's going on but can't quite pin point the specific nature of what I'm trying to get to because the subject is such a no brainer that I shouldn't have to state the obvious. Or, I talk in circles because I never really cared about the subject before and that's how my mind works to get to the point.

Second, typing is better cause i can read, re-read, edit, re-read, edit, etc. for hours sometimes.

Third, my biggest problem is anxiety around people. The moment I realize all eyes are on me, I get anxious and can't concentrate. Same problem with dancing at the club sober. I lose rhythm everytime. Good exercise to beat that anxiety is force yourself into dancing at the club sober. Also, what helped temporarily was the military. But, I'm back to same old as civilian, but not as bad as before. I noticed I say less of those "Did she really just say that?" type statements. My worst is job interviews.

Fourth, I tend to add all these details that nobody really cares about. I think they are important. Sometimes I add them to help the reader find exactly what they need to for like police reports (that detail might actually be what makes or breaks the case) or I think they are necessary because they are exactly what I would need to get the whole picture or the same type of detail that makes me know how the story is going to end. When the police or the State Attorney Generals office says "Please state, in detail..." they don't really mean that.

This is what I am working on, this year. Verbalization and communication. There are 3 levels:

(1) What Sora describes above as the sort of mechanical or orderly talking problem... after years of talking and writing, that is more or less not a problem with me anymore. However, in any new subject that I have never encountered before, I still don't have the words to express myself unless I train myself to discuss that subject.

I have what I think of as a speaking part of my mind, and that is what I have to develop, for each subject. I have the ideas in my mind, but what comes out is often a disordered, blunt and rude, and sometimes unmeaningful blurt. I have to speak and write for along time in a new subject are to build the words and ways to say them. I think, on a technical level, this means that I have to consciously construct the semantic maps and the relationships in order to verbalize any ideas in a new subject area, even if the ideas already exist and are clear to me. If I don't consciously build the semantic maps and the relationships between the semantics and my ideas (framing and references), the ideas get distorted as they come out, kind of like going through a blender and or picking up strange associations and words.

I have to painfully and consciously build the semantic maps and reference framing by doing a lot of writing and discussion, and after each writing session, examine what I have written and intentionally sort out the stuff that came out as I was thinking it and figure out what went wrong with the stuff that came out as I didn't intend. The process is harder for things that I am less clear about. I.e. I can discuss technical subjects like engineering pretty crisply, but then get really disordered or unruly in my speech behavior when I start talking about social things or social injustice -- i.e. where I have strong impulses but naive ideas.

(2) In things that I am emotional about, it is harder to be coherent and express what I have in my mind. I think that part of the semantically-disordered "blender" and "warps" that my speech goes through on the way out, gets much, much worse any time there is any emotional engagement in my thoughts in that subject area.

(3) In topics related to areas in which I have been traumatized, it is the worst of all. The trauma triggers re-living the event or having hypervigilant or defensive reactions. So picking apart the "blender" that distorts or confuses my speech on the way out, gets really complicated. That is due to actual psychological problems associated with the trauma. I have been working on this all year and have only just gotten to the point where I am making progress. I am solving communications mishaps in my verbalization on the order of about one or two per day (which is pretty good). On many levels, when it comes to a psychological trauma or emotional distress, learning how to solve my semantics and verbalization problem associated with a sore topic, also results in resolving some of the trauma and emotional distress. This is well-known effect of resolving emotional distress by learning how to say something in a way that solves it for you (e.g. dialectic behavior therapy). NT's benefit from DBT and other talk therapy. For AS, if you have a trauma in an area in which you have trouble verbalizing, it becomes harder to resolve the distress, so learning how to talk in that subject area is a necessary part of therapy.

By learning and recognizing the above 3 issues, and doing some of my own "experiments", I've been able to develop verbal skills this year that I never possessed before. But my development is very uneven -- you have to work on your personality, fairness and a lot of other things to develop proper speaking behavior.

So it is possible to learn better verbal skills if you have semantic-pragmatic disorder and other issues in social impairment, but it is a REAL mission, if you ever decide to undertake it. If I knew in advance everything that it would involve, I'm not sure I would have begun what I thought at the time was mostly a software engineering project involving neuroplasticity and just "hooking up" a speech center.

I have this problem, but I think it's mainly a result of anxiety. I can be fluid and articulate in my speech when I'm with someone I'm comfortable around. If I'm speaking to someone I don't know very well or feel uncomfortable with, my mentation goes to hell and I freeze-up.

Even so, I do communicate better through typing or writing, but that's only because I have the chance to mull over what I want to get across, read over and edit if needs be, which is probobly the same for most people AS or not.

I am the same way...much more fluent and expressive in writing than verbally. Verbal communication ranked from easier to harder would look like this, Facts-->ideas-->feelings. I really can't verbally express emotion at all, so I don't even try. It's funny, people who dislike me at work have learned not to attack me in writing (i.e. e-mail) because I'll slice and dice them. But if they attack me verbally, I am not able to respond as well (especially in a meeting with lots of people). It's like I just can't pull my thoughts out of my mouth...no worse - it's like I can't think. Anxiety might play a part in this, but it's not the whole story for me because verbal communication is ALWAYS harder - it doesn't matter what the setting or environment is. At family gatherings I find myself sitting quietly and everyone wants to know "what's wrong?" Nothing, I am just doing what comes naturally.

That is a description of me to almost a "T". When I go to the doctor I have to write something down before hand, or practice what I am going to say. Even when I do know the subject, sometimes i stutter/clutter and stumble too. Its frustrating.

At work, its frustrating to the nth degree. If I have to adlib, I get anxious, the words pile up, swirl around, and all make a dash for my mouth at the same time. If a line of words isn't coming out the way I want, I tend to jump to the next one. What is worse is when I am in the middle of getting something out, and someone jumps in with a question that takes me into a whole new river of thoughts. Often, because I am dealing with doctors who have no time to wait for my mouth to catch up to my words, I just stop talking completely (like if one of them has a computer problem - I can't chitchat AND fix the computer, so I usually whip in, do what has to be done, and make a run for it). I am lucky, I do have one doctor there who ALWAYS waits for me to finish what I am saying.

I have taken to giving the doctors how to lists - it is faster for them to read my organized thoughts, than to hear my disorganized words. I am grateful every day that I am not expected to be on the phone, although now after 8 years, I have certain "speeches" to make to patients anyway. I find people are very predictable in that respect.

On a side note, I received my annual personalized Christmas card from the doctors in the office the other day. One said "Thank you for making us sound intelligent" (I transcribe for them, and edit as well). I wish I could do that for myself when I am speaking, sigh. I just have to mentally haul myself back when I get too excited, I guess, and take it one word at a time.