What to do with Aspergers?

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There was a time in my life when I had to be reminded to take a shower. And if I forgot I was told by my parents that I just didn't care. They became frustrated with me because they knew I had the brains but I still couldn't compare to many of my peers. They thought I was lazy and just didn't give a damn.. and guess what, there was also a time in my life where I REALLY didn't give a damn because I was so fed up with society and everyone's expectations of me.. and even these days I still have that attitude, to some degree anyway.

I have that attitude, but I got really tired of living in hobo villages out by the railroad tracks and in abandonded houses and in tents out in the Bureau of Land Management Lands in the Pacific NorthWest, or a cardboard condo off the interstate. It was a viable alternitive when I was younger, but these days my old bones creak and I just can't take being homeless.
I work at a job and though I make the best of it, I only do it because I am terrified I will be out there in the cold again.

Merle

Exactly! There didn't used to be a name for it. "Sensitive" "Eccentric" "Odd".... yeah. well.

Sounds VERY familiar.

That sounds familiar: What's more, I used to believe it when people told me I was lazy or selfish and I'd tie myself in knots trying not to be. That's been the great advantage of my diagnosis so far, no longer taking myself at other people's estimations.

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yeah. and i third that.


Back off a bit, will you, B9?
Raggle Taggle is very new and might need welcoming.
And by the way. lots of kids slip through the net. It depends on the type of family you come from. It also depends on the country you are in - a whole host of factors like your age and whether the diagnostic criteria was even around at the time or, if in the present day, is a part of the family or school's intellectual realm and charter. I know of cases where kids in this day and age - obviously AS - are not even identified in school - because the teachers hold to a very narrow understanding of what AS actually is. They perceive it as geek syndrome (narrow, narrow, narrow.it's all about maths and computers!) That is why I am compiling some more relevant info for the local schools.

For the rcord B9, i was evidently weird as a kid. Pockets filled with sticks and stone and nothing thrown away. wine label collecting. stamp collecting. unregulated emotional outbursts that continue to this day. No-one got me any help. no-one took me to a doctor or a psych. No-one even thought there was a problem. Whay would it evenoccur to my parents???? If you met them back then, you would know what i meant. i am one of 8 kids with two mindblind parents who were completely eccentric and out there. My dad was busy working or at the piano composing Catholic hymns or reading Vergil's Aeneid in Latin or Dante's Inferno in Italian or Proust in French, or YEats' poetry in English. And my mother was busy having meltdowns because someone strange and unknown was walking up the front path or heaven forbid - on the footpath outside our eccentric and ramshackle home. Your assumptions are just that. Assumtions about how it is for others, which bare little relevance to the varying realities in other peoples' lives. my mum was was also busy flogging us and telling us we were the cause of all her troubles. she also told us she didn't want us. SHe was also obsessed with her medical dictionary and the weather. And current affairs. She had no real friends and maybe came up to our school once a year.

i might add, a couple of months ago when i joined WP, i nearly got scared off by a few posters who decided to dig the boot in at a newbie. My social justice bent cannot cop that. Luckily, i am a feisty old eccentric AS, and if i sense this kind of thing - i'm in there fighting for the newbie. I make the point, why don't people who do that on wrong planet - give newbies a hard time, that is - attach their real names and addresses as signatures at the bottom of their posts? But of course, that will not happen. It may in fact mean that they are really accountable for what they say in their posts.

Last edited by millie on 19 Dec 2008, 3:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.

AND A BIG WELCOME RAGGLE TAGGLE GYPSY!




hope the colours make your day.

exactly. i was dux of everything so how could i have a problem?
i struggled to take care of myself and i still do, to this day.

millie - but you're doing it. you ARE taking care of yourself. otherwise, you wouldn't be here.

hey thanks. good point and much appreciated nan. have a good day

I still don't take the best care of myself without use of reminders.

I hope this is on topic, but its been kicking around my head for sometime...Ever since I first learned of AS and its probability in me I wondered why it wasn't noticed sooner. The obvious answers of "it was recognized back then (born in 72) in the states". From much of my reading into AS I've learned that AS tends to become apparent at or around age 3. My biological parents split up when I was around that age and I have been curious if any manifestations that were apparent then were dismissed because of my folks splitting up. I should probably talk to my mum about this at some point. Anyway, welcome to WP. I hope you find it as welcoming and enlightening as I have.

the assumption that everyone who is of your age group will be dxed because the criteria was around then, is a fallacy and an assumption. THat is of course the hope. but it doens;t always pan out that way. People slip through the net all the time. it depends on so many factors.

EVen if i had been born in the 80's i doubt my mum would have noticed. She was too busy listening to the hourly weather forecast and current affairs to even consider the wellbeing of her 8 kids. she has always cared, but has not really been too able to show it. ( funny that.........she has a few traits , which she herself acknowledges.)

I might add my nephew was just diagnosed at age 3 with autism about 6 months ago. the reason he eventually got an early diagnosis was because i came down to visit family and just said outright - "there is something happening inside him that he needs us to understand. THings aren;t panning out for him in the same way." My mother had noticed but hadn't really bothered to say anything to my sister - and my sister jsut kep saying he is an eccentirc little infant.

Now, i suspect my mother did not say anything because for my mother - the most important thing in the world is to maintain a pretence of NORMALCY and SAMENESS as everyone else. it is really sad, because my mother is so eccentric and odd and admits to so many AS traits but is ashamed and embarrassed that it could be in her family's genetic makeup. She can acknowledge that some of her children have aspie partners (undiagnosed) and that is fine.......so long as it does not come from her gene pool! IT is crazy because my family is archetypally weird and wonderful in every sense of the word, and if it was embraced, what an amazing journey some of them could have - instead of still trying to mould themselves in accord with social expectations. and the chasm between what some of them are and what is expected from them from society is heartbreakingly clear. It is similar to that chasm that some of us have experienced.


they are all ok if I AM THE ASPIE! that's how it has always been. oh well.

Thanks to everyone for the responses and a special thanks to Millie for looking out for the n00b I sent an email to a professional and he's asked me to call him tomorrow. I'm excited and apprehensive. I've been reading through the forums over the weekend. It's amazing how much I relate to the rest of you, from the silliest little things to the biggest problems, they all seem to be dealt with here. That's reassuring.

I'm sure you've all felt similar feelings after discovering what's 'wrong' with you is actually pretty normal. I was out drinking with some friends last night and a lot of the usual aspie social f**k ups seemed a lot easier to deal with when I thought about them in the context of aspergers.

I have to do my driving test tomorrow for the third time, but at least now it makes sense why I failed it the last two times. I'm not a terrible driver but I just can't seem to drive properly when I know there's someone scrutinising my every move.