AS Get progressively worse?

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I've learned that with my lists and schedules and whatnot--if I use those to keep myself on track, they have to be flexible enough to accommodate unexpected things.

Here's an article that I found very helpful. My own AS seems to be holding steady; but it's kind of odd because often times, to get more functional in one area I have to drop other stuff. So, for example, to get good grades at college, I dropped my social life and most of my volunteer work. I imagine those sorts of trade-offs will be something I'll have to do all my life; but I don't think they represent any sort of "getting worse". It's more like redistributing resources.

http://www.autistics.org/library/more-autistic.html

Hey 30Guy--don't listen to your parents. If you want to go to college, then go to college. My grandpa got a college degree in his 70s, and he's not the only one. I'm 25 and will probably be older than 30 by the time I have the master's degree I want. If you start out at a community college, you don't even have to pay so much. Just go to your preferred 4 year college, ask them what transfers into their program, and take those classes at the cheaper college. Then transfer after you've taken whatever they offer that your 4-year place will take. Added bonus: Many community colleges have distance learning programs on their easier classes, so you may only have to attend one or two classes a month for tests and such.

Makura and Callista I owe you both thanks,

Yeah Makura that's kind of what I've been trying to do socially - I used to have this checklist of things I should do/try to be in social situations as a way of being more prepared for socialising & meeting new people but it never worked; socialising seems so random it's hard to predict. So I've been trying to boil down my checklist into just one or two themes I stick to, it changes everyday but this is the current checklist/list of themes: -

1. Acknowledge people you know and look pleased to see them & show them respect at the same time, usually done with eye contact and a smile - doing this shows that you accept them - a lot of my anxiety in social situations seems to come from me being afraid I won't be accepted, so if I accept others they seem more likely to accept me.

2. Be chatty and show them you're easy to talk to - this helps initiate a conversation, from which you can start to 'listen & empathise' with them and ultimately understand them, which is essentially what we all want - to be understood. I read somewhere that you should use your left side of the brain & ears to listen to what they say verbally and then rephrase it in your head to make sure you understand it. And use the right side of your brain & eyes to listen to their emotions and reflect their emotions ie. match your emotions with theirs.

3. Just be myself - my therapist says problems come when you try to be something your not, after a lot of deliberation I've decided who I am and what I want to be is - down-to-earth, laid back and have fun. Doesn't always work but if I can do it in some small measure that's something.

I just need to start readjusting my systems for my career now I suppose, try to be more broad in my approach. I struggle though as I need specifics most of the time to concentrate on, it's almost like I'm easily distracted and lose sight of what I was trying to achieve in the 1st place.



Callista thanks for the encouragement, my Dad doesn't know about my AS, in order to have a diagnostic exam I would have to tell bth my parents and I'm not ready for that yet, my bro has OCD and I saw what they went through when he had a breakdown, so I can't really put them through that again, my mum still seems to blame herself I don't know why; sometimes I think she has social anxiety because she's never had any friends and doesn't go out but who am I to judge?

I think as long as I move out and am being independent my Dad ultimately wouldn't care if I go to uni, as long as I'm happy, etc. I think he thinks my time is running out sort-of-thing but looking at my career I've already worked in 3 or 4 different industries (at entry level) so reinventing myself again at uni isn't out of the question. I'd have to find a way around the social side of it though as I need my own space and don't like to go out much/struggle meeting new people.

I dunno, sometimes I get fed up of worrying about the future, that's all I've been doing since I left school 14years ago and that's the reason I haven't really done anything with my life, although this Aspergers thing does put a new perspective on it - maybe that's why I'm struggling? And maybe it's ok if I'm not as successful/not as confident as my Dad?

Thanks again & look after yourselves over xmas