At what age did you 'de-alienize'?

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no

I think the question was perhaps worded wrong in that it implies that Autistic people are the ones with a problem and that normal society is the only 'correct' world to live in and this isn't the case. There are all kinds of NT's who are every bit as unorthodox and unconventional as we are, you just have to seek them out. The NT world is not monolithic and if your friends don't suit you then find new ones as that's what most of us do.

i haven't "de-alienised" but i have learned a few skills along the way that hold me in good stead...better stead than the first half of my life. I'm all for improvement as a human being whther AS or NT. BUt it has taken an inordinate amount of effort. and that does piss me off.

However, i still prefer my own company or the company of people who share my special interests. (if i spend time with people at all.)

it continues to frustrate me however, that i am the one who must make all the adjustments, as others point out. No wonder i had such pain throughout life.
this is an issue in my household that is FINALLY being addressed, now that i have a name for what has been different about me. People are starting to work around me a bit. that is a good thing and a relief.

The NT population isn't monolithic as I said already and from my long experience I have found the vast majority of free thinking people are actually more aligned towards an almost AS world view rather than the more formal and regimented typical NT sterotype as I described in my short essay about differences on my site.
Don't get me wrong however as I am what is called a militant Aspie so I always expect they we are right and 'they' are wrong as a whole.
What I was trying to address was what appeared to be an inability to break out and find other like minded individuals and in my opinion this was clouding the reasoning of the original question.

^
I understand, you make a good point. But I don't merely see it as not finding like minded people. The alien tag I hope carries the broader meaning of self understanding and the implications of one being (generally) - (I get your point about the NT world not being monolithic) an outsider. Not so much in interests, but possibly even in perception...

Absolutely!! ! That's the only really good thing we have going for us. We have a completely different perception of our environment than some 'other' people.

When I was 19.

I've been through cycles. I'm nineteen. Up until I was about nine I wasn't aware that I was lacking socially, but then I came to that realization. I slowly and painfully became more socially acceptable, and by high school I hung around with a group of people that I understood to a certain extent.

Then I went to college, and I feel like I'm at square one all over again.

At age 15 I started to talk to people and make friends. I thought I was getting better socially until someone made a comment last year that I was the quiet one. Anyway, I felt uncomfortable because I didn't talk as much as others and when I tried to talk more I couldn't. Since my diagnosis I haven't talked to any friends outside of the internet/MSN chat, so I don't really know where I stand now.

Able to maintain 3-4 friends for more than a month: 15-17

I regressed after that point. I do have friends, but I really only ever seem once every few months.

I wonder if I ever did.

For the most part I did around 15, but even so, I am still very "different" and will be forever.

I haven't yet. Occasionally in my twenties I thought I was less of an outsider (when becoming less socially naive), but it turned out I was mistaken.

With age, I'm becoming increasingly out of sync with groups (and individuals). This has noticeably accelerated over the last year, culminating on New Year's when the only group situation I'd encountered in months resulted a street fight between middle-aged persons. I was the only one NOT involved, and could not understand any of it, and so felt more alien than ever. The individuals involved in the fight: could not look at them or speak to them afterwards; may not be able to for a very long time, if ever. Just the latest in a long series of groups I cannot adhere to.

I found myself drawn to WP after the event, as I guess those on the spectrum are the only group I am somewhat able to relate to.

I would say that I began to find true companionship when I discovered an Internet cat site. I was 35 at the time.