Worst experience you've had due to your aspieness?

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Let me preface this by saying that I'm not sure if I have Asperger's yet, but this makes me think I do (tell me if I'm wrong!! !!):

A few months ago I was walking out of Taekwon-Do class with my instructor, a visiting student, and one of my fellow students. The student from my school excused herself and left. The visiting student and my instructor continued to talk; I was not at all a part of this conversation, and I didn't mean to be. I didn't know how or when to excuse myself or what I should do (many times I just wait for the other people to say goodbye to me first, then I respond), so I just stood there anxiously, I guess waiting for the situation to resolve itself. I was so embarrassed, but I had no idea what to do!

That could have been written word-for-word about me and is not only a major reason my wife and I are in marriage counseling, but how I came to know the Asperger's in me to begin with. I might end up being single right along with you.

Guess that would be 5th and 6th grade. Only a couple of weeks after the term started, the whole class of nearly 30 children was out for my blood.

And when they threw books, pens, scissors and whatever other stuff at me in the middle of class, the majority of teachers didn't step in. Neither on the yard when they hunted me down. When I shouted or called them names in response, I was punished for disturbing the class and attacking the other students. These teachers participated in verbal bullying and denouncing me in front of class, explaining how I was stupid and that I was nuisance the poor students had to deal with.

I stopped talking in school altogether during the last year and would run away from the room repeatedly. The worst was that nobody in the school bothered with what was going on there. And that I couldn't explain it. I was good at talking, but understanding what was going on, explaining that and explaining something socially and emotionally was beyond me due to the severity of my ASD at that age. That I was so strikingly not normal was a card blanche for anyone to bully me.

I guess when it all came to a head, and I hit breaking point; the sum of all my experiences and events so to speak. A nice psychotic episode, and a month long stay in a relatively decent mental hostel, but I wasn't feeling that decent.

not straigth to my aspiness but i think worst part of this is my meltdown which is why i get restrained for head banging (self destructive behaviour acording to em)

In junior high, I was bullied.

Today, I consider myself pretty fortunate. The only thing I don't like is when I do stupid stuff. I think I could advance more in my life if I just stopped doing dumb stuff. Otherwise, life is pretty good.

A lot of bad experiences have come from not being able to predict other people's reactions and behavior. For example having people snap at me when I didn't know I was doing anything wrong, or being physically attacked out of the blue and the offenders taking off before I even realized what I had happened. Such incidents always shocked me because I couldn't prepare for them in advance and didn't know how to react when it happened.

Being a scapegoat, for family, classmates, colleagues etc. Half the time I couldn't really stand up for myself and when I tried nobody believed me anyway, because I was weird and goofy and not smooth enough to convince anyone.

Meltdowns. People who don't have them don't understand them and get the wrong ideas and think it's stupid to freak out about something "so little", because they don't understand how many things contribute to a meltdown, how it's out of my control and what it really feels like.

Having practically no friends and being a social outcast due to being different and lacking the ability to initiate conversations/relationships.

Sora, that's horrible. Did your parents help you in any way?

This has always been my problem. I'm in my late forties and it still happens to me all the time. I'm a zero at predicting people's reactions to me. I devoted my life to trying to understand people better, but I'm still taken aback by people's reactions to me most of the time, let alone have any control over their reactions to me. I see people around being able to control to varying extents the reactions of others to them and oh I envy them so much. My supervisor has another subordinate, and the guy is able to control to a certain extent her reactions to him. I observe it every day and I feel like such a loser!!

so, so true. couldn't have said it better myself.

thank you for writing my relationship bio in one short and sharp and completely accurate paragraph.

I have had LOTS of bad experiences because of my naivety and inability to read certain situations that others might run a mile from. at that period of my life, my AS intuition was snuffed out by my rather excessive penchant for all things narcotic. THese days, i am clean and believe fervently and empirically in the intuitive capacities of people on the spectrum.

I was the only girl in the back of a van filled with nasty types from my past. (underworld and criminal. very dangerous people) -The midnight joke consisted of in depth discussion of taking me out to the bush to bury me. THere was discussion about the types of digging tools to be used and there was discussion about possible locations.....charming incident. and of course, because of AS, i really could not understand a lot of what they were saying, so i just sat there, quietly. What else could one do?
some of them were carrying guns - not as common here i Australia as it is in the United States.



i could mention many more, but i do not want to spook people.

a few of us come back from the night of the living dead to recount the tale of how the other half lives.

I took teasing seriously as a kid but I think I have gotten better at it now. Now my boyfriend can tell me I'm mean or I don't care about him and I won't take it seriously because he sounds too cheerful, even if he says he is serious. I still find it hard to believe he is serious if he sounds so jolly. But I still take lot of his jokes seriously and he always has to tell me. Sometimes I get upset because I wanted him to be serious.

Back when I was working swing shift, my office clerk was always telling me "What did I just say?" and telling me I need to use my common sense just because I couldn't read between the lines and expecting me to connect the dots on my own.


I am not sure if this is AS or not but when I am told to do something, I have to do it now or else I forget. If I do forget, I expect a reminder and I can write it down but when I get too preoccupied with my work, I forget about what I am supposed to do later on so it doesn't occur to me to look at my note I have in my pocket. I'm surprised I have not been fired for that.


At my last job, I had massive complaints about me about my "rude behavior." All I did was pushed the cart around and picking up laundry and bringing it back to the laundry room and sorting it out and then do the run again. But there were always guests and they seemed to find something to complain about. I was always in their way according to them, standing too close, not letting them by when I expected them to go by me or squeeze by. I told my mother how am I supposed to know if they don't tell me and she said I don't have a sign on me saying I have Aspergers and I can't tell personal space so you need to tell me. She sure gave me a little lesson about personal space. Stand an arm length away unless you are in a crowded elevator or crowded area and there is no room to stand that far away.
My inflexibility and anxiety also caused me problems and my boss could have fired me for that but she didn't. But I worked hard to be flexible and did it.

I agree with TS... I have had lots of problems because of AS but not be able to keep a girlfriend hurts the worst by far.

Finally realizing my dad was calling me names -- and had been for many years.

I was probably eight or nine years old, before I realized that when my dad was saying words that were bad names, he was talking about me. At times, he was talking right to me, but I didn't realize it. Till I was old enough to understand what the names meant.

Talk about bad timing.


Also, not THE worst, but recurrently bad:

Being laughed at by people and not being able to tell if they're laughing at me or with me... and thinking all the while that the joke has to do with something OTHER than me... until I realize it's not. Yes, they are actually laughing at me.

For me, it's social isolation and the lack of social skills. I've been doing really well with these problems lately, however. Over the past year I have made a few new friends. I have also been more comfortable with talking about myself to other people, albeit it is still awkward when I talk about my obsessions because I tend to leave no room for the other person to respond. Usually, I refrain from talking about my obsessions because it is difficult to say what is on my mind in a conversation in person. But if I'm instant-messengering someone, I have time to think about what I want to say. I have also been doing better as far as eye-contact goes, though I still don't see the purpose of making eye contact during conversations.