Greentea hosts: mysterious tree-lover...ACACIA!! !

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I don't know, millie... I'm afraid of imposing... Forever the clueless Aspie me! I think I'll leave a few questions just in case the Present Perfect tense meant "so far":

Acacia, those are some fascinating inclinations you have! I love trees and plants myself, once tried to plant some trees (I got seeds from a beautiful tree farm in Australia) but nothing came out. I did it wrong. Did or will this hobby have some practical application, you think?

Are your family in denial about your symptoms? If so, to what extent do you think a certified dx will change that? And how would their acceptance of your AS change your reality?

thanks millie, your objective vantage point is correct.

Greentea, I apologize.
I was actually very wary of how I worded that post, because I thought that you might have thought that I meant something like: "Oh well, it's been splendid, I think I'll see myself out now..."

I did indeed mean that: "I have enjoyed this interview SO FAR, Please Continue!"

Again, forgive my grammatical ambiguity.

Ask away, as long as you want

oh I see, I'm glad then!

Looking forward to your answers...

The real reward that obsessive plant-cultivation has given me is a working knowledge of how a wide variety of kinds of plants grow and respond to their environment. I've been very fortunate to have access to property in order to practice horticulture. I've accumulated years worth of practical understanding that I could not have gained abstractly.

I should have gone to college for this. When I was actually in college, I did not have the self-awareness to see myself pursuing a career in plants. The University of Florida has one of the best Botanical/Horticultural programs in the country. I had good grades coming out of high school. I had the dedication. I could have gotten in, and made a life doing what I love. But I was too lost in confusion and personal problems at the time when I should have been making these decisions.

I still have hope for that direction. Indeed, I don't see how I could achieve very much doing anything else. I have a lot of financial, living situation, and relationship issues that I need to sort out... but I want to eventually go back to school and get my life back on the path towards that goal.


My family never associated my symptoms with AS. Their conception of ASD's is that of low-functioning disability. They seem to have a hard time understanding how I can drive, and work a job, and do other adult things, yet have some kind of developmental disorder. They know about AS. They just seem to have a limited or incorrect view of it.
As I said, they attributed my problems in life to bad choices or laziness.

They hold medical/psychiatric opinion quite highly. I know that if I came to them with that piece of paper, they would believe me. If I didn't, they would not take my word for it. Having a diagnosis will absolutely change how they see me. To what extent? I can't say, but I know it would have to be some. And any change in their point of view is a good thing.

My family, and parents especially, have (since I was an adolescent) seen me as a loser, drop-out, and a slacker; squandering every opportunity set before me. That's a hard stigma to escape. Their viewpoint, as well as those of other family and people in my life coalesce to form a framework of attitudes and emotions that have and currently do partially shape my reality. That framework of reality will be entirely taken apart by a diagnosis of AS. Everything will have to be re-evaluated and restructured. Obviously it will not magically make everything OK. I am not getting my hopes up. But, I can't wait for some kind of change to happen.

Acacia, I am very into medicinal, toxic, and herbal plants as well. I have belladonna seeds but I have only ever been able to get it to barely sprout. I live in central florida where it is mad sunny, so I thought it do well as a house plant. Yes, belladonna has atropine and scopolamine in it which is toxic, but in reality many house plants are toxic. Which part of florida do you reside?

Acacia. you are cool. your life reads like mine in many ways. (my naricissism abounds here, of course, as i am immediately chuffed by anyone who is anything like me!)

Greentea, this is a great interview. keep the questions rolling.....

I live in Tampa. Yup. It's mad sunny here. Sitting on the subtropical divide. Just hot enough for a lot of Temperate plants to not grow. Just cold enough for a lot of Tropical plants to not grow. Last week's freeze, for instance. That was a bad one. Killed off tons of stuff in my garden that I thought was hardy. Oh well

That is interesting that you've had troubles with the Belladonna. I know the seeds can be hard to germinate. They have thick seed coats, which you can sometimes help to sprout by nicking the outside with a knife before planting. They need clean soil and don't like transplanting. Otherwise, they should be easy growers in partial shade. If that doesn't work, have you tried growing Brugmansia? Also in the Nightshade family, it is very easy to grow from cuttings and is chemically very similar. It's a common ornamental around here.

good luck on the plants!

I agree. I'm cool. and this is a great interview.
hahaha... that's narcissism for you.

no, I understand what you mean. Being on the fringe of society, when you meet somebody who is even remotely like you, you want to know more about them, because that is like knowing more of yourself.

Being seen as a loser by family...I know everything about it! Story of my life. To continue in the topic of relationships...what are your thoughts and/or experiences and/or feelings regarding work and/or family and/or romantic and/or friendship relationships?

I don't have a question, but I wanted to make a few comments.

Greentea - Excellent interview. Your questions are very insightful.

Acacia - You're a really cool guy. A person I could see myself hanging out with in real life. Although I wish I had your gardening skills as I seem to kill anything plantlike in a nanosecond.

oh my Goddess, I ain't started yet. Those were the conventional, shallow, polite, introductory questions. The second module of this interview contains the really nasty, nosy, touchy questions, which will either kill our dear Acacia or turn him into a stronger man. *horrible chuckle echoes in the darkness*

Dear audience, stay tuned for our second module after the message from our sponsor!

Drink Green Tea, drink Green Tea, lalalila, Green Tea is best, lalalaaaa....

I currently work two less-than-full-time jobs. I substitute teach during the week and deliver pizza on the weekends. It basically pays the bills. While it is not ideal, or very sustainable, I enjoy my jobs. Each caters to certain needs and interests I have.

Substitute-teaching is good because I love information, I'm a decent actor (I can effectively imitate limited social speech, assertiveness, and humor in an academic setting), I am always amazed by the sociological constructs that are more evident in school, and the freedom of substituting is very reassuring to me. Delivering pizza is endlessly interesting to me geographically. I love looking at the wall-sized map of the local area that we have at the store, and plotting the absolute most efficient routes. The physical sensations of driving are calming to me (unless I succumb to road-rage, which is often). Dealings with people are brief and completely casual. And I can listen to my music while I am driving, which is paramount.

I have a degree in Education, and I was a full-time classroom teacher last year. I was initially optimistic, but quickly proceeded to get totally in-over-my-head with the work itself, and with the very social world of being on a school faculty. I was very nearly fired, but then ended up reassigned to a co-teaching position instead, where my responsibilities and social commitments were fewer and more manageable. I ended the year in disgrace and out of a job.

My plans are to eventually go back to college and pursue a career in botany/horticulture. This is my most intense interest, passion, hobby, pastime, and obsession. I need to channel that energy into a career.


I was fortunate to have a loving, financially stable family, and I grew up in comfort and safety. However, my father was emotionally (and often physically) non-existant. My mother had cancer and spent most of my childhood dying a slow, painful death. My two much-older brothers had lives of their own by the time I was old enough to do anything. My extended family all lived out West, and I didn't really know them. I had a very isolated experience of family while growing up.

Currently, the only contact I have with any family member is an occasional (perhaps twice a month) phone call or visit to my father, or an even less-frequent call or visit to my oldest brother. My concept of family was and still is very limited in scope. I look at large, networked, multigenerational families with a curious mix of envy and bewilderment.

My real family now is my son. I want to give him better family experiences.


I have had six romantic relationships in my life. Each effectively ended within a month or two. As I've mentioned elsewhere, I am currently living with my son's mother. But she and I ceased to have a loving relationship within a few months as well. We've just been stuck living together for five years.

Once I discovered AS, I realized why I never had a meaningful or lasting romantic relationship. I was not responding with the appropriate actions and emotions that any of these women needed. I was not showing genuine love, concern, passion, empathy, or understanding... even if I felt these things internally.

I am at the point now where I don't really want a romantic relationship. I know that I am not capable of being a good partner right now. I have a ton of work to do on myself before I could ever fulfill that role. Maybe many years from now I'll try again.


I have no friends. Haven't had any since grade school, really. In high school and early college I had acquaintences.... co-dependent enablers for self-destructive behavior. I haven't had any adult friends at all.

I always wondered at this, until I discovered AS. It explains my social difficulties, my restrictive interests, my intense introspection. I don't seek people out, and people who seek me out are almost always driven away, even if I would rather have them around.

I think that if I had more directly pursued a career with my interests, I would have met some like-minded people with whom I could have formed friendships. I do want friends, I'm just not in a good position to make any right now.

look what i just found lurking away somewhere on i believe page 4, or 5

THIS NEEDS TO GET STUCK PLEASE

well....you had better do that. the great turning points in my life have been strongly related to committing to the full passsion of my special interest.
Acacia, if you do not do so, i shall come throug the connection and ball you out big time....YOU HAVE TO MAKE YOUR SPECIAL INTEREST YOUR CAREER.....you will find friendship, relating and joy if you do so in a way that will be very important to you. you mihgt even find a really cool girl who likes plants and is a little odd......and yuo will teach your son, byu power of example to follow his dreams, (and zat my frend, eez zee most importante ting in zee weld..)

greentea.....keeep zee kestions mooving along. vee see zee real acacia.......

oops, I didn't remember it was my turn! Stay tuned, audience, I'll be back soon...

senk you zee greentea....vee are vaiting for more excellent kestions.....