selective mutism?

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I'm limited to the phrase "I don't know" and shrugging my shoulders-- sometimes shaking my head yes or no. I can also ask, "What?" which is good because when it's school I get too distracted by the noises and I don't pick up half of what anyone says. I also completely shut down. For instance, I nearly have my head in my lap and I just blindly shrug or say "I don't know" at everything. Bleh. Silly psychiatrist doesn't seem to understand that, however, so she keeps upping dosages on my meds because I can't tell her I'm doing fine and she won't take my mother's word for it. sighh

In Elementary school I was that kid the teachers loved because I was so quiet. I was used as an example in lectures all the time. =p But when I got to highschool the teachers didn't like me because I just withdrawled from everything and I was limited to "I don't know" and "What?" to everything they asked yet again.

I remember one time this one teacher said "I don't know" to everything when I was around and then at the end of the day asked me if I thought that was annoying. =[

I don't know if I have Selective Mutism or not. I am somewhere inbetween.

I definitely have selective mutism, and I'm fairly sure I have AS, if that answers your question.

Sucks about school...I was generally pretty okay there. I think it did depend on the class/subject/teacher though, and who I was sitting by, but I usually had my hand up first when a question was asked of us.

As for the subtypes, I don't really fit into any of them...it just depends on who I'm around, I guess...but this subtype makes me just clam up completely, and no matter how hard I try, nothing at all will come out:

is it really mutism? i know i'm ABLE to talk physically, but i just can't seem to form the right string of words together or find the right time to say anything. i keep looking for an opening, but i can never seem to find the right one, like there's some sort of traffic in front of me that i'm too nervous to dodge. then i'll start noticing something off in the distance, or on the ground, or some other distraction, and by the time i'm able to direct my attention back to the conversation, the topic will have changed completely. it's here that i'm left to decide whether to interject what i had thought of earlier into an unrelated conversation, or just remain quiet until i find another opening...

That's not selective mutism, I do the same thing but I think that's an AS thing. Selective mutism is where you just cannot speak even when directly asked a question in certain situations due to anxiety.

ah. yeah, that does happen. it's very aggravating

I had selective mutism until I was 17 where I was completely mute everywhere except at home. I decided to that I wanted to break it and I did but it was very hard, I was very confused with socialization. While it dosent have a real correlation with aspergers, it is definetly possible to have both at the same time. For me it developed when was almost 8, I went to a new school and must've gotten confused about socialization and how to make friends so I didnt say anything and I was completly mute after about year and half of switching schools,

i have selective mutism but i don't agree that it's extreme anxiety causing it. if anything its the other way around, mutism causes the extreme anxiety. its terrifying not being able to say what you need to say. to be honest i think most psychologists are incompetent loons who would turn anything into an anxiety disorder just to make some work for themselves to charge you for

for me certain people trigger it, others don't. it doesn't correlate with how much i like them, some people i'm close to trigger it, other people i am not close to i can talk quite fluently to! some things can make me go mute, like for instance if i'm in a room with strong scents or perfumes i will be unable to talk. i guess thats a sensory issue, which would be related to AS too.

it's a bit like time goes all blurry. to talk you have to time several things a once, you have to move muscles in vocal cords, breathing, mouth all co-ordinated, as well as thinking what you're saying... its like it all goes blurry and things happen in the wrong order or not at all. i can end up speaking silently to myself, or saying out loud gibberish, or knowing precisely in my head what i want to say but not being able to say it at all, or sometimes just knowing i want to say something but not know what it is. anxiety doesn't help but it isnt the fundamental cause.

I used to, back in the old days. My son is speech delayed but I think he is capable of speaking more than he chooses to.

I still have it and occurs often in group settings. 1 on 1 less often. It's why my diagnosticians have not been able to observe it but the CBT therapists have.

I definetly have this problem. I get too nervous to talk in some situations so I shut down and that just makes it worse. I try to get away from the situation as quickly as possible but then I just get so frustrated about it later. Why can't I just respond. It was much easier in school when the teacher/professor was talking all the time but now that I'm a grown up and working its much harder. It is mostly with authority figures or informal groups. I'm fine doing public speaking engagements when I've prepared for it but if I'm talking to a someone I'm comfortable with and then realize several people are listening to me I get very uncomfortable so I generally won't speak when there is more than a few people around. I also really don't like talking to strangers. I dread cab rides and pretend to be texting the entire time. If someone crosses me on the street and I'm unprepared for what they say I won't respond or if I've practiced a conversation and I don't get the response I expect I shut down. Its very frustrating.

Buryuntime, You seem to be okay explaining what happens when you're writing. Have you tried writing a letter to your therapist? You could write out how you feel and what is going on and hand it to them. I know it may seem weird and make you uncomfortable but eh, we're all a little weird. That's why we're here. If he sees how hard it is for you to verbalize but that you do want help it can help him understand what is going on.

My AS son was dx'ed with selective mutism before AS.

I can speak just fine 1 on 1, but if there is 2 or more people having a conversation I just go quiet. I can't think of what to say so I just sit there and try to follow the conversation. My mind usually wanders off though.
Maybe I'm still not over selective mutism. I was far worse when I was younger. People just thought I was quiet and shy. Thing is it never bothered me that I didn't have my own friends, but when I felt rejected by my family I decided it was time to make friends or kill myself. I chose friends but I still wasn't good at speaking and they often made fun by saying 'you're never quiet' or something like that. And recently I developed anxiety because I wanted to be more like them, having 3 hour long conversations.
I'm still not very accepting of my AS diagnosis. I guess it will take time. I remember when I was oblivious to my bad social skills. I wish I was that way again.

You know you don't mean that. If you were oblivious you would have no hope for a better tomorrow. By getting a diagnosis, you are one step closer to being more easily accepted. My roommates know of my AS, and they seem more accepting of me, and actually involve me in stuff more, but they both act as if they don't know what AS and autism are. However I can't tell if they are being honest about that or are lying. But it is nice to be more accepted.

When I was 16, during the onset of my OCD and anxiety issues, I would show up to work and not talk to anyone unless I was spoken to. For the most part, I didn't care to talk to people because they didn't seem all that interesting to me. All they seemed to want to talk about was gossip, cars, sports, and everything besides what I was interested in. All I did was work non-stop, like a robot. I was given nicknames such as 'the machine' or 'the robot'. The only people I talked with during that period of my life were my parents, and I still didn't really talk much. I found comfort in playing video-games excessively, unfortunately to the exclusion of my schoolwork.

There were people in my childhood I either didn't talk to at all or refused to talk to for many years.

There was this certain barber I refused to talk to. The guy basically often cracked jokes while he was cutting hair and tried to get kids to smile. One thing that brought it back was he would sometimes crack jokes about cutting off kid's ears. Most would find that funny but I did actually see someone get their ear cut by a clumsy hair stylist, so now that joke isn't so funny to me anymore.

In addition, this guy often bathed in aftershave and his shop smelled like cigarette smoke(smoking wasn't banned in most public places back then). I didn't talk to this guy for 12 years believe it or not. Finally I got mad and refused to go to his shop anymore, so my parents let me go elsewhere for a little while, then they made me start going back to him again a few years later. I spoke to him, but said little, and he always gave marine cuts. They let me go somewhere else again after that, then I moved out of town so that was the end of dealing with him. I actually found myself looking up his shop to see if it still existed on our state department of labor's website which has an employer search, and it's still there 30, almost 40 years later.

This guy was the most extreme case, but there were a few others I wouldn't talk to for short periods to time, then I'd lighten up. My parents always thought it was shyness and not selective mutism.