Involuntary celibacy

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I mused with my wife about become a male whore if I ever became single again (which may happen). I noted that based off of previous experience, it is unlikely that I will become a successful one.


I'm with Kevin on this one though--it's a matter of no game.

You guys have to do other things beside sitting at home. if you want to meet women. You should join a disabilities social group or hang out with LD (learning disabilities) social group.
You have to let go of your prejudices and expand your horizons.

For example, there with this one young pretty MC (mentally challenge) woman who liked me. We talk and she was really friendly. She had good legs too! I had to leave the city and never saw her again. But if I could stayed, think of the possibilities.

You start dating people that you are comfortable with, and later you can expand to NT, if you want to. That's what I planning to do for now on.

I think that the only reason I am good in relationships is because I started really young and just sorta adapted that way...so for all of my life beyond the age of 15, I have not been celibate at all...except for the year before I broke up with my first boyfriend (of 6 years) when I finally put my foot down and REFUSED to be treated like a sex object any longer. We had a sort of caveman bonk cavewoman over head sort of relationship...if that makes any sense.

Some of my closest friends either are celibate or have gone through long periods where they were.
My good friend/ex-roommate/bandmate of many years who does not exactly have AS, but a mixed bag of other neuro-issues has only really had one girlfriend for maybe a couple of weeks. A great source of emotional angst and mental stress for him at times was all the pressure other people and society seemed to put on him to get a girlfriend even though all of his mental, sensory, and other issues make it harder for him than for most people.
Right now he is at a point where he is currently mentally stable and seems comfortable with himself and the fact that it is ok to be celibate...Not having a girlfriend does not make him any less of a person etc...but when he is in a manic phase, that seems to be a big source for some of his tirades and a big trigger for him would be when certain people would jab at him over his celibacy...often my other bandmate, my drummer, who has a really serious case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and a tendancy to be a bit of a man-whore.
It has often been a source of angst among my small group of neuro-eccentric friends that this Homer Simpson-esque sleazy babbling goon (the drummer) is so easliy able to trick poor hapless females into sleeping with him and even into relationships, while they are so much better than him and have such a hard time of it.

Sorry to ramble....

I have a major problem with involuntary celibacy. I'm very love-shy and my male parts don't exactly work all the time due to "bedroom anxiety". I'm always extremely nervous and uncomfortable before intercourse. This may sound rude or closed minded towards NT's but I'm not willing to give anybody time to get familiar with the spectrum. I want the woman to know it well and have been around it before committing to me. I know we are complex beings but i just don't have the patience to give people time to get used to it. I refuse to be the Aspie that gets the NT used to autism. I wasn't sexually active until my 20's and I've always had to take things slow physically. Sorry i got off topic there for a second but i think I've become prejudice towards NT's.

This is the most frustrating aspect of being a male on the spectrum. I know, females also suffer with this, but they are more likely to be approached by NT males and get sex.

As an aspie I don't have a natural brain reward system for interacting socially (NT's brain release "feel good" hormones by the very act of socializing, while ours usually don't) and being so I don't crave social interactions. But I still have the sexual hormones/testosterone and those make me crave sex.
Now comes the paradox: to have sex, I have to interact with people. But not only I'm really bad at it, as I also don't have any other motivation to do it than the chance of getting sex.
It may sounds rude to some people, but it's just the truth.

While for NTs, they enjoy interacting and they do it very often, and so their chances of getting laid are so much bigger.

I couldn't agree with you more "TheWarrior". Society expects males to make the first move which makes it more difficult for male Aspies then females. I'm very introverted and don't crave social interactions either. I live alone and prefer it. I've never been great with social interactions but then again what Aspie has? I use online dating to find women and it's worked for me for the most part. However, I've had my share of bad dates because i can't read body language or pick up on hardly any nonverbal ques. I love female companionship and having friends but i just can't be around people all the time. You said it, "As an Aspie i don't have a natural brain reward system for interacting socially". I think that goes for all of us who are on the spectrum though.