How strict is your conscience?

Page 2 of 5 [ 74 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Next

Joined: 26 Jan 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,847
Location: with Hyperlexian

27 Jan 2009, 11:04 pm

aargh. my conscience beats seven bells of guilt out of me quite often. I find it very hard to lie. i can't forgive people that lie to me.. i know that a strict conscience probably does more harm than good. however i still think it's better to have principles, even if it means suffering to retain them.

chris

Sola
Raven
Raven

Joined: 4 Jan 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 106

27 Jan 2009, 11:05 pm

NeantHumain wrote:

Sola wrote:

I understand where you are coming from. I am ruled by my conscience most of the time, too. I am starting to suspect, however, that I should not assume that many neurotypicals are similarly ruled. Why? Because it seems that they depend more on politics, manipulation, social hierarchies, smoozing, lies, etc....conscience doesn't seem to be 'top of the list' in their social dealings. I find this problematic, and a source of inner disturbances....because I treat others based on my conception of what is right and wrong, what would hurt and what would not hurt..... while they treat me on the basis of 'what is best for me opportunistically, egotistically, and selfishly. I think I make mistakes when I think a certain thing will hurt them, because it hurts me.....I think many neurotypicals have TOUGH SKINS.....when I deal with them, through my conscience, though, I continue to treat them sensitively, even if it has no effect or doesn't matter to them......I hate to have to realize this, because I try not to tramp on people, but they don't seem to mind tramping on me when it suits their desires. The Golden Rule as a conscientious aspie sees it must look different to the kind of Golden Rule seen by a neurotypical......A neurotypical's Golden Rule would be more 'practical and utilitarian' and less 'idealistic' than a conscientious aspie's,.....I'd think. For instance I think people should work toward being honest and kind AT THE SAME TIME, whereas neurotypicals I've known are more interested in *BEING PERCEIVED* as honest if the situation calls for it, not actually being honest. Neurotypicals that I know are more about 'appearances', fake though they may be.....it's like a game......fooling people.....whereas a conscience based Aspie would be interested in ACTUAL HONESTY AND KINDNESS.....because of respecting the dignity of others. Neurotypicals don't often respect another person's innate dignity.....they respect what they can get out of you, or what you can do for them.....or how they can control you....things like that. Justice is the furthest thing from their mind, I suspect..... If they hurt your feelings and they benefit from it.....they don't spend much time regretting hurting your feelings.....they just go on as if nothing ever happened. They don't try to make amends.....because THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU AS A PERSON. They are interested in power games.....and in that conscience isn't very useful.

You make all NTs sound like borderline psychopaths.

I think that may be true.....I've had some bad experiences and happened to be around some bad ' NT examples' perhaps....and admittedly those people are tending to be the NT representatives at the forefront of my analysis. I just seem to be suffering from the psychological trauma of spending time with them. It is probably my aspieness that makes me hyperfocus on them. The way they are SHOCKS me. Why it shocks me I don't know. It's a bad set up in my head, *that* I do know. It does sound harsh, but really, it is how it is. I didn't make it up, though I do ruminate on it occasionally.

2ukenkerl
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 19 Jul 2007
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,248

27 Jan 2009, 11:12 pm

blackelk wrote:

"conscience makes cowards of us all". I do feel that I am oppressed by it at least a little.

You are right there! People cheat, etc... EVEN if I fall prey to such garbage, I STILL couldn't bring myself to consider doing it to others. *I* get yelled at by marketers when I bring up things like the fact that FREE means WITHOUT condition, or that the FTC DOES have regulations for sales! A sale can only be done so many times a year, and only for a certain span of time. When I place advertises a shirt on sale for a year, at 30% off, it is FALSE ADVERTISING, because the regular price is 30% off, so it isn't a sale.

Anyway, I guess I will just NOT be a "good salesperson". I once called a place asking them how come THEIR drive was advertised as 20MB, when that format only went to 10MB. You know the answer? They were ALL 10MB!! !! !! !! !! EVEN the one advertised as 20MB was 10MB! They ALL had software that IF you had redundant data AND you used their software with compression AND IF you were lucky, then you COULD maybe save 20MB. AGAIN, 20MB was FALSE ADVERTISING! they did the same with modems! 1200baud were sold as 2400baud! That was even more misleading than the tape drive, as it not only had the requirements of the tape drive, but ALSO required the software to be good, the connection to be good, the packets to be large, and the other side to be likewise compatible.

My mother always said I wouldn't make it in that type of job as I don't have "enough larceny in my soul".

northern_light_girl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 28 Mar 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 147

27 Jan 2009, 11:21 pm

I would like to understand this issue..I mean would you all think the stringent conscience is a component of AS, meaning that if you don't exibit such stringent conscience then you do NOT have AS ?

blackelk
Deinonychus

Joined: 24 Jan 2009
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 308
Location: New York

27 Jan 2009, 11:25 pm

northern_light_girl wrote:

I would like to understand this issue..I mean would you all think the stringent conscience is a component of AS, meaning that if you don't exibit such stringent conscience then you do NOT have AS ?

No, not all. I am just wondering if it is more common with us than in the general population. I am not saying AS people have to have a strict conscience.

Sallamandrina
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,590

28 Jan 2009, 12:11 am

I know exactly what you're talking about - the part about reality shows and the embarrassment you feel describes me very well. That also goes for the people (especially women) that make a spectacle of themselves in public. I feel so embarrassed and somehow sorry for them and I really can't understand how come they don't seem to realize the position they're putting themselves into.

As a teenager and in my early '20 I used to have a very strict moral code - thinking that if I could respect it, other could do that as well. Experience taught me different, so I'm trying to be more understanding or less rigid. But I often see people doing something I consider despicable, and still feel entitled to sympathy and respect, and I feel completely puzzled and angry.

_________________
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live" (Oscar Wilde)

SilverStar
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,058
Location: Ohio, USA

28 Jan 2009, 12:28 am

I've told my fair share of lies (mostly white lies, or fibbs though), and done things I shouldn't have, but when it comes down to serious matters, ethics, or whatever else, I try to be straight and honest with people, and do what is right.

Sometimes I think I am a little too honest though. For instance, when I call off work, I will tell my supervisors that "I just didn't feel like coming", instead of lying to them like everyone else and telling them I was sick. I think that they have grown to appreciate this over the years.

pensieve
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,204
Location: Sydney, Australia

28 Jan 2009, 12:42 am

bucephalus wrote:

aargh. my conscience beats seven bells of guilt out of me quite often. I find it very hard to lie. i can't forgive people that lie to me.. i know that a strict conscience probably does more harm than good. however i still think it's better to have principles, even if it means suffering to retain them.

chris

I find it very hard to just say the words 'I forgive you' when I don't feel it in my heart. Is that my conscience too? If I just forgave them without feeling it, then that would be like lying.

mixtapebooty
Deinonychus

Joined: 25 Dec 2008
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 381
Location: Richmond, Va

28 Jan 2009, 12:48 am

northern_light_girl wrote:

I would like to understand this issue..I mean would you all think the stringent conscience is a component of AS, meaning that if you don't exibit such stringent conscience then you do NOT have AS ?

No way. People with AS are just as subject to let go of a conscience that might be otherwise strict, as everyone else. Who's to say that a strong conscience always means someone does the right thing? What good is a strong conscience not put in to practice?

I once read that people with AS have trouble with inner voice, and that is the cause of an overbearing conscience in folks with AS. It's not that the conscience is so much stronger and engaging, it's just that it can consume more of the developmental process of the individual, and without that inner voice to direct them, they feel overpowered by this heavy conscience. It can actually lead to Aspies getting taken advantage of in lots of situations where, they wouldn't expect anyone to have less of a conscience than them. Hey, once you've been burned in a number of ways, you start to realise that a conscience might get you in trouble if you don't understand that other people don't share the same way of thinking. There are plenty of people on here who lack conscience, but they may have just learned not to take it seriously all the time. It can get annoying if you've ever been fired from a job or lost a partner because of something to do with it. I may not know how to act like people with less of a conscience, but I'm strong, and I maintain it with the risks involved.

bucephalus
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Jan 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,847
Location: with Hyperlexian

28 Jan 2009, 12:53 am

pensieve wrote:

...
I find it very hard to just say the words 'I forgive you' when I don't feel it in my heart. Is that my conscience too? If I just forgave them without feeling it, then that would be like lying.

i don't think i've ever said those three words. i often say things like "it's okay", "don't worry about it" etc instead. of course it's not really okay tho...

blackelk
Deinonychus

Joined: 24 Jan 2009
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 308
Location: New York

28 Jan 2009, 1:02 am

mixtapebooty wrote:

northern_light_girl wrote:

I would like to understand this issue..I mean would you all think the stringent conscience is a component of AS, meaning that if you don't exibit such stringent conscience then you do NOT have AS ?

This does make sense. And why we often seem socially naive' or "ret*d". Because our conscience would kill us for behaving that way. We are very hard on ourselves and expect other people to be just as hard on themselves.

Danielismyname
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Apr 2007
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,565

28 Jan 2009, 1:11 am

Very, very, very and very strict. I don't have a soul, either, but I have morals and a code that I live by.

As long as people don't hurt me without provocation, I don't mind what they do, of course, but no one can tell me how to live, or force me to live how they want me to.

marshall
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,752
Location: Turkey

28 Jan 2009, 1:27 am

Yes. That all applies to me as well.

I don’t know if this is related but I’m also very paranoid about other people’s sensitivities. I get uncomfortable about being better at something than other people. I’ve done the thing where I tried to lose a game discreetly because the other person was noticeably upset over being beaten over and over again.

I'm also not comfortable with selling myself and it puts me at a huge disadvantage since most people aren't half as qualified as they try to make themselves sound. I'm so pathetically modest sometimes. I just don't have the cutthroat spirit for life.

slowmutant
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Feb 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,430
Location: Ontario, Canada

28 Jan 2009, 1:29 am

NeantHumain wrote:

slowmutant wrote:

NeantHumain wrote:

You make all NTs sound like borderline psychopaths.

Some Aspies are borderline psychopaths.

I very much doubt this.

I don't.

marshall
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,752
Location: Turkey

28 Jan 2009, 1:51 am

slowmutant wrote:

NeantHumain wrote:

slowmutant wrote:

NeantHumain wrote:

You make all NTs sound like borderline psychopaths.

Some Aspies are borderline psychopaths.

I very much doubt this.

I don't.

The main difference is the aspie psychopath would be someone that everyone would agree is a psychopath. The NT psychopath can find ways to blend in, become accepted by society, and gain positions of authority - in spite of their not-so-nice personality.

slowmutant
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Feb 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,430
Location: Ontario, Canada

28 Jan 2009, 1:56 am

Quote:

The main difference is the aspie psychopath would be someone that everyone would agree is a psychopath.

I dunno about that. I think a psychopath is a psychopath. What makes you think Aspies are always good people and NTs are always bad people?

Page 2 of 5 [ 74 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Next

Jump to:

How strict is your conscience? Post Reply New Topic

How strict is your conscience?