Hating my past...

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yeah and i cant even hide it
poeple saw me at primary school when i was a real idiot
i hate it

They will forget about it soon enough, and the ones that don't don't deserve to know you, or are the creepy stalker type.

nah they wont forget it others remember more about my past than me its because i was like a different person before, but its not a problem its not often poeple bring it up but its very awkward when someone does.

The only people who remember anything about my past care more about themselves, are my friends, are my parents, or are stalkers. The people that care more about themselves don't have time to bother me with it and are so far removed from me that it doesn't matter. People bring stuff up now because they either want something to say to you, or they are just idiots who want to get a reaction from you. As you get older, people will forget, it may still haunt you in your dreams, but thats just fear that someone will remember, and even if they do remember, they have better things to do than waste their breath bothering you about it.

I used to hate my past, but then I turned it around and decided I was grateful for the experience. I don't worry anymore about anyone who may not like me (if they actually even remember me) - there's too many other people left in this world to piss off or disappoint! (JOKE!! !! !)

}:)~

goat

I had this problem until I began to look at my past objectively, recognized the patterns of behaviour that brought me to where I am today, and accepted responsibility for my failures. I realised that the feeling of hatred for my past was a coping mechanism that stopped me from pondering the terrifying thought of my own accountability.

I've had this problem quite a lot. I still find myself wincing at the memories of things I did when I was 5, even though I know that nobody else will remember or care. I know it's stupid, but it's difficult to stop. My screw-ups and instances of bizarre behaviour have always seemed unique to me, like nobody else in the world could possibly do those things, at least nobody else who doesn't have something seriously wrong with them. I guess they bother me because in many ways I'm still that same screwed-up kid. Discovering AS has put those incidents in a fresh perspective; I do feel somewhat less bad about them now, though the loathing is still there. It's only been a month since I've known, though, perhaps they'll all go away in time. Here's to hoping.