How common are meltdowns with aspies?

Post Reply New Topic

The last one I had was a few days ago - I got so mad / felt rage and frustration and then went and layed down in a dark room and didn't speak one word or leave the room for 24hrs while I realigned. After that I came back out into the rest of the house and slowly reintegrated with my gf and then just laughed. That's quite normal for me. Outwardly / externally, this one was quite a bit more mild in comparison to others I have had as I didn't do any harm to myself or break anything.

Many times I just 'explode' into a ball of frustration and feel full of rage and become aggressive. Other times it's that plus banging my head on something or punching my own head / scratching my face etc. Other times I just get very argumentative and it can stop there but usually results in an 'explosion' or on a rarer occasion I don't outwardly show anger but I just withdraw and wont speak anymore. The last example has far less impact on others around me but is probably more horrible for me. The anger and rage are an outlet where as withdrawing just builds a really horrible feeling.

I have had two biggish meltdowns since this new year and some more minor 'tantrums' but sometimes they are far more frequent. It depends on various things.

I'm usually fine, unless I'm in a very crowded/noisy/confusing situation or I subject myself to prolonged communal living.

Also people ignoring me, not listening to my point of view, blaming me for breaking a rule that I didn't know existed and talking over me can trigger it off.

It's at times like these that I retreat to the safety of my room, or if I'm out, a public bathroom cubicle. It's socially acceptable to have a good quiet cry in a stall. I kind of see it as putting myself on the "naughty chair" lol .

I always make sure that I withdraw myself away from people I care about as soon as possible because I don't want to upset them. I know it's very disturbing for other people to see me like this and not safe if I throw a rage at them. It's also not very adult like behaviour and not good self control.

I usually reemerge when I feel cooler and calmer and can reason with people better.
If I can't reason, concentrate or solve the problem, I leave early to solve it elsewhere.
I often try to get on with another job to try and take my mind off things too.

That's how I've coped over the years.
I've also tried to be assertive where possible.

There have been situations, such as group excursions, where I haven't been able to escape anywhere. People are shocked and surprised to see the transformation when I'm under extreme social and environmental stress because I'm so quiet and polite usually.

When situations are predictable, there are no sudden unexpected changes, I have a clearly defined task to complete, the atmosphere is quiet, relaxed, devoid of any distractions and other kind people are genuinely there for me and helpful, I'm usually fine.

I believe that everyone feels angry from time to time, I just sometimes feel upset more intensely than most.

I don't have meltdowns
but someone said what i do is called a shutdown (gettin depressed feeling faint and unwell) there quite rare with me though

I had a crying and wailing type of meltdowns in my childhood daily, while I had violent meltdowns as a young teenager several times each day. Since I'm about 17-18 I meltdown severely about every 2-3 months only.

I don't know if I've had meltdowns or not. I think they were more like rages. I don't know.

I feel I've had both shutdown/meltdowns LOL! A couple weeks ago my internet wasn't working and I resetting the computer over and over and I went to my mom and got in her face she slapped me across the face! I walked out the door and walked to the Elementary school and back (about 1 mile) which helps me cool down in a situation like that. Also yesterday my family was upset since I woke them up the following night so since they were STILL getting on my case I went to my room and played my videogame most of the day THEN mom was saying oh you don't do anything etc. Sadly I'm always wrong SOMEWAY! It's either A) I'm board family says oh go play a videogame B) I get obsessed into a game and it's All you do is sit around and play your videogame all day. DANG IT!

Meltdowns are very rare for me but I am very tantrumy and sometimes when I'm angry I just cry for ages and slap my face or something but that's only at home other places I'm fairly good at hiding it

I guess it depends on the person and what kind of stress they are going through. I'm not diagnosed with aspergers yet so I don't know if I should use myself as an example. (I do have 90% of the symptoms). Nevertheless, I would never want to to have meltdowns because I would never want to bring attention on to myself. I'd rather hide in the background and not be noticed no matter how stressed I may become. Maybe people at a younger age don't think about that because they aren't at the maturity level yet so they might have a meltdown in front of people and make a scene without thinking about it. Nevertheless, the only time I'd truly snap is if I'm pushed over the edge and that takes a lot. If I'm by myself and I'm very stressed I might punch something. As an example, if I've been doing math problems for hours that I can't do I might take the book and throw it out the window but that's about it. Most times though, I am very calm. I live with someone who has bipolar disorders and she has had a lot more meltdowns then me.

From reading some of the responses in this thread it seems like meltdowns include things that I always considered just losing one's temper. I was under the impression that meltdowns were when a person gets overwhelmed from sensory stimulation and freaks the **** out by going into a sort of "emotional seizure" (best way I can think of to put it right now).

If we count getting stressed really fast out of nowhere and snapping at just about anyone/anything at that point then, yeah, I've definitely had those episodes. Like I said, as a kid (and even now really) I got really agitated whenever I was in an area with a lot of people or if there were a lot of random loud noises, and at that point I was liable to start snapping at people and it would take me awhile to calm down afterward. Same thing happened if my usual daily schedule got disrupted, that really pissed me off fast (still does except now I'm kind of used to it thanks to the hectic life a science major entails). Also, if something does work right at first I have patience, but if it keeps up I pretty much go into a rage. I've gotten better at controlling that since I was a kid/teen, although there are periods where **** hits the fan (to give a specific example, I got really stressed out a lot in my 1st year chem lab for various reasons. Generally I'd go in feeling fine and by the time I'd get out I'd be close to killing someone. There were many times I really had to restrain myself from crushing glassware with my hand, and while I thought I did a decent job of staying under control one of my friends who didn't know me at that point in lab has told me since then that he thought I was insane during that semester lol).

But I always figured that was all due to me having poor anger management skills.

I tend to hardly have any since being diagnosed, understanding self fully which took along time for me and avoiding the majority of society in general, can do now older... of course when younger use to catapult all over the place as had no idea was on the autism spectrum or understood any of my triggers sensory overloading my worst, anxiety exposure in general being the other biggie.

Before my severely clasic-autistic, non-verbal and near impossible to live with older brother moved out they happened every few weeks or so. I'd always curl up in the corner of my room, sort of implode, and spend the next hour or two calming down and building myself up back to normal.
Since my brother moved out they've been rarer. Once every few months when thingsa are very stressful.

I'm told when I was a child I threw tantrums completely unlike other kids. I'd throw myself on the floor, refuse to move and scream. This could often go on for hours without rest. Sit me on a "naughty spot" wasn't enough. They had to put me in a room, close the door and let me scream for hours. They'd check on me, of course, but nothing could calm me down.

My parents still blame the ones I do have on stress... It is not stress, it is things that just build up, and like a wave, when they all overlap at the same time, I just can't take it. As a kid, I had a lot of ones I would prefer to forget. Put huge dents in a metal door for example, because I didn't want to have to go to the babysitters at that time, as I wasn't finished what I was doing.

I think I have had a couple of shutdowns/meltdowns. They are infrequent but quite debilitating when they happen.

Once I got overly stressed with work. My training was not that good, and I was allocated a piece of work which I thought was perhaps beyond me. Despite my protests, I was still expected to do it.

It was catastrophic, the deadline approached and it materialised I had only completed about half of the work (largely because I was unsure of what I was doing). I was rescued from that situation from my workmates, but the additional work they ended up undertaking on my behalf meant they both worked a twelve hour day.

Anyway, when I was being question and I realised I had got myself in to hot water over this, I was more or less non-responsive and can remember feeling having a heavy head which I can only describe as buzzing. I was lead away to a quiet room, and sent home.

That was about 4 years ago now.

Another one was when I got so conflicted over what I felt for someone else, the same sensation happened again. I was interrogated about my feelings for someone I was dating at the time, but I could not give any answers at all. Again, I became non responsive, but my partner at the time took an aggresive line of questioning which forced me back further into my shell.

Is this sort of typical of meltdown/shutdown?

I feel like I am going to go through with work again in the near future as the job I do has become so difficult now.