Supermarket trouble

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I'm new here, and this is only my 3rd post. Interesting to see how similar experiences are.

When I started living on my own, I was forced to shop or starve to death. Often times I would break down and start crying. Now, my thresh hold is much higher because 1) I have years of experience behind me 2) I've gotten to know some of the people who work there (one of the cashiers is coming to my graduation in May) & 3) familiarity. I still don't enjoy it but have learned to cope by ignoring people around me and listening to my ipod. But it's still not a pleasant experience feeling antagonized by the people around me, even if I've learned to let it disappear into the background.

hartzofspace, I totally relate to that bus experience. I went to high school in Ann Arbor MI and rode the bus a lot. I was paranoid of everyone around me. I once became so paranoid and convinced that someone I saw on the bus was planning against me I got off the bus and took a long path through the woods to lose him before coming home.

I'm never at the supermarket on my own, but I hate the crowds there. When sitting down at the entrance it's hard because there are many people around me and I also hate sitting next to strangers. I also really hate it when staff come up and ask things like "Need any help?" I understand why they do that but it's just so hard for me to answer.

I dont really have a problem with supermarkets myself, its convenience stores I hate more.

Its quite heartwarming when i read about how people feel and the similarities that a lot of people feel about grocery shopping.

Where i live there are a lot of fairly big supermarkets and what i DO like about supermarkets is how anonymous you can be as opposed to walking in a country/village store or post office, witch i never do.

Another kind that i thought i would mention is DIY stores and trade counters. While i like the fact that right near me is a real low-cost trade counter wherehouse it is one where you have to mark on the paper, wait, be served, people wait by you, collect your stuff and then find that what you thought you wanted looked right in the book turned out to be totally wrong!!

So while i love the idea of buying stuff from there its perhaps just too much worry. So i go instead to the well established supermarket style DIY shop and pay higher prices and have no problems as it is also fairly quiet as well.

But ass well as that shoe shops, cafes, chip shops, takeaways, pubs, nightclubs, hairdressers, butchers, post offices, banks and many others are completely out of bounds.

Going to the store can be hard for me, too. Sometimes it is so crowded that I get a panic attack. It is because everyone stares at me and talks about my unusual thoughts. I am also under the control from the government and I move weird and sometimes like a robot and other times really fast in weird patterns, even outside because I have to avoid the laser satellite. They already proved they have laser guns (I thought those only existed in science fiction but I guess I was wrong) because they shot at me with one but missed. This took place not at the store but in my own room. The laser went right beside me. It was red like you would expect. They shot it twice. I love the gov! I always have to say that or else I am dead.

I like to shop in the middle of the night. No crowds and the music doesn't seem as loud.

I can relate to you well AlexUK---good post. I hate grocery stores. My wife seems to navigate around fine, and I feel like a drunk skater in the roller derby. Everywhere I turn I feel like I am ready to run into someone---or them into me. I also find Wal-Mart to be terrible. It has to do with the lights (really bright and hard for me to endure) and the constant noise level...and intercom system...and...ughhhh!! !...Sorry.

I explain it like my grandmother used to talk about stuff like this (she had Aspie traits)---"I feel like I am in a cloud." When I was a little kid I didn't understand what she meant by that quote. But once I got older and understood this comparison, I know exactly what she meant. I had always felt like I was in a cloud too in situations like crowded bright noisy stores.

Obviously this is something that we on the spectrum cannot entirely help. Our neurons go into an overload of some kind and cannot process all the sensory information going on around us. My wife has come to understand me better since my diagnosis of AS this past fall (at age 44). She often doesn't expect me to go with her to the crowded places. I do make efforts to go though as I do not want to use AS as a crutch---but gee...those places are difficult for me.

Sit comfortably and read carefully....

I walk into the supermarket. A hundred eyes stare at me as I tremble. An ogre stares at me and snarls. Hundreds of ogres push me in a big, black corner. A big, horrible, loud monster screams a frightful noise in my ear. I almost jump back in fear. My ears are ringing. My head hurts. This nasty, ugly monster almost kicks at my legs. I jump away – then fifty eyes stare at me as I walk through the big prison walls. It’s like a maze. I get lost. Twenty more eyes glare at me. I want to run but daren’t. What’s lurking round that corner? My mouth goes dry. I tremble with panic as I reach the corner. Five huge, nasty banshees scream at me. I almost fall over. I look at them worriedly. I grab what i want then quickly scarper my way through the glaring eyes and wailing banshees and screaming monsters. Then I stand by a machine. I fiddle and fart about with my bag what I clutch tightly in my hands, struggling to get out as quickly as I can, away from the eyes. I’ve done it. Then someone is walking towards me. . . ‘Hello, Jade,’ she says. It is my Auntie. ‘So what have you brought today in Tesco?’ she smiles to me. I show her the coke and the fruit. I look around. The banshees turn into teenage girls. The wailing monsters turn into toddlers. The glaring, staring eyes turn into customers. The big prison walls turn into shelves with shop items on, giving you a friendly temptation to buy the items. The machine what allows me to escape is the pay-yourself machine. The escape key is my money to pay for my fruit and coke. The sun shines through the windows. Now that I’m with my Auntie, the teenagers don’t shriek in my ear. The toddler’s frightful roars and screams don’t seem so loud. The people aren’t staring at me as much.

That's my social phobia's point of view of being alone in a supermarket

Although I don't really have any problems with shopping, supermarkets do kind of creep me out. If I'm standing in aisle looking over the various options, I always feel so exposed, as if something is going to come from one of the sides and hit me. Store music generally does somewhat bother me, although recently I was pleasantly surprised to hear KISS.

I this is why I think my father has Aspergers. If we drive up to our super market and the parking lot is jam packed he gets pissed off and turns around to return after 7:00 PM when the store quiets down. He can't handle crowds of people or crowded parking lots choked with cars. I always offer to run in get the stuff we need then go through the automated check out line which is usually empty. But he always says that he did not want to put me through that type of stress.

My father is a Vietnam era combat vetran. He always says he would rather fight in a balls out firefight than go to the center of a crowd of people. He says its less stressful for him. He claims when he is under fire he feels more in control of the situation.

I try to shop at times when supermarkets are less crowded, so I don't run into so many crowds, but what I have really liked has been the self-checkout. I used to hate having to deal with the cashiers...they almost always tried to make eye contact and small talk and it bugged the crap out of me. Now I just use the machines and avoid the whole deal...sweet.

~Kate

I should only go to shopping centers or supermarkets if I'm in the ''right mood''. If I'm having a ''bad day'', meaning I'm easily irritated, the supermarket is the last thing people want me to go to. But if it's a nice bright sunny day and I feel in a confident mood, I will feel more comfortable to take a stroll to the supermarket and have a little look around at what I need to get.

Sometimes, though, if I'm going into a supermarket with somebody, (my Mum for example), I always get angry if I'm in somebody's way. There's nothing worse than my Mum taking ages looking at the meat, and there's me standing there, and there's people waiting to go exactly where i'm standing. I feel like yelling, ''all right - I will go and wait in a big field then! I'll be out of everybody's way if I did!!''

I've been in a shop before with a toddler, 2 old women, a big fat man, and a woman with a big shopping trolley, and guess what - I still got in somebody's way! Somebody said ''excuse me'', and reached for the item directly behind me, and the others (who are more likely to be awkward and are more prone to get in the way) weren't in anybody's way. For christ sake!

So that's why I say no to supermarkets.

I live near a major city, so my supermarkets are open either 24/7 or really late - 11pm or midnight.
I go shopping very late, once a week when there is no one to stop you from looking at the shelves and determining exactly what you want. I don't feel like I'm bothering anyone by standing in front of the frozen food doors or stopping my cart in the middle of the aisle.

Your supermarket probably opens pretty early on Saturdays (6am-8am). I really recommend going as early as you can on Saturdays. For the first year that I started doing my own grocery shopping, I always ended up going when it was so busy. Now I only go in the morning any time before 10am. And then I realized it's not so terrible.

Ive never had trouble with the supermarket (and yes thats a US term too). i also used to be a cashier at one, and by shopping at that store and knowing the layout, i can have one weeks shopping done in less that 15 minutes, including wait time.

slow moving people annoy me though, especially when they take up a whole aisle. going at 7am on a tuesday is great though, especially where a shipment comes in monday night and everything is in stock.

I dislike crowds, but they don't send me into a panic. They used to make me a bit anxious, though. When shopping, I avoid aisles which are crowded to avoid having to ask people to move aside to let me pass. I try to think of crowds as being a collection of individuals instead of a single "mob."

When I read about incidents of people being injured or killed in a stampede of other people, however, it causes a fear response. That would be terrifying. Fortunately that is so rare as to be worthy of being national news. If I have any phobias it is probably claustrophobia, which I suppose is related.