A question for teens & adults on the spectrum...

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I was diagnosed at age 36 and it was positive. Very!

I wouldn't, if I were you. Messed me up pretty bad

I found out when I read a newspaper article on me. I didn't really react until I realized what it was

I figured it out for myself in grade 8 (while watching a video of LFA kids at school).

Got the diagnosis age 32. Diagnosis wasn't available for good girls like me before then, but I think it would have helped. I could have gone through school slower and actually learned more than facts, maybe been better prepared for the work world. Hard to tell.

Knowing has always been a relief.

Once your son is reasoning abstractly (usually early teens) he can analyze what's going on better, but he should know as much as he wants as soon as he wants. And no more, I guess.

At work once I asked a supervisor if I should tell people I was autistic. He said it wasn't anyone's business. He was wrong. You have to tell, school or work, when you need accommodation. If you don't need accommodation, then you don't need to tell them.

Tell him. If I had known about Asperger's Syndrome age 10, it would have spared me the following years before I knew about it that I spent thinking (and being told) that I was stupid (cause I misinterpreted things and missed things), badly behaved (because I freaked out about things and offended people by being blunt) and pathetic (because I freaked out about things, and had obsessions). Only negative thing is that when I came on to this forum I felt like a lot of my individuality was false, because I found loads of other people that make funny movements and confuse/bore/amaze people with streams of information about something they're obsesed with. I don't mind now though, because I've realised I am still very unique and I'm not even fully Aspie. Also being Aspie can make you unique because I still don't know anyone who behaves like me and every Aspie is different.

I would tell him straight away. I don't like the idea of parents one day sitting their child down and telling them that they have, and have always had a condition (possible disability) that no one mentioned to them until now.

I was diagnosed when I was 21 although I was observed by a psychologist in a classroom setting at age 5 because of my (and I quote) 'asocial behaviour'. I certainly do wish that I was formally diagnosed at an early age as my school years were a nightmare and I had no support whatsoever.

I was told by my mum at the age of 9 and glad I was, too. If I wasen't it'd have caused a lot of trouble.

I certainly think you should tell your son.

I was diagnosed as an adult, but I can tell you this - I obviously thought and acted differently when I was young, and diagnosis or not, my parents just dealt with what I was, not what my label was. So things like teaching me social things or explaining things differently were just part of how they raised me.

I think trying to explain to a four year old that he "has something" would just complicate the issue. Just raise him according to what he needs and does, not necessarily according to what a diagnosis says he might do or might feel. You can acknowledge, yeah, you have a different thought process, or you like different things (when it comes up), but trying to explain "it's not something wrong with you, but it's something you have that most people don't" doesn't make sense to little kids.

When he's older I would explain it to him, but I'd make sure it's not at a time when it sounds like an excuse for something. Like, he just gets dumped by a girl and you say "Sorry son, you have Asperger's". Just some time when you think he'll get it, say "hey look, you've probably noticed that most people don't rock back and forth as much as you do - that's called stimming and you do it because of this.."

I think telling him at this point would just give him a stigma and the thought that he's "got" something.

I agree he is too young to be told just yet... I'll have to just play it by ear and be selective with timing etc...and of course using the right words for his age...whenever that may be.

That book sounds like a brilliant idea Merle. I had no idea such books were available. There's so much I need to learn.

Thankfully I've found you guys here to be very helpful. Nothing better than getting advice from those in the know.

If you're getting him tested, he's going to wonder why... especially if you've got him in therapy or special ed... He should definitely know by first grade; that's when the difference between aspie and typical really starts to show up.

http://www.amazon.com/All-Cats-Have-Asp ... 1843104814

you can even browse it!

Merle

Thanks for the link Merle

Sorry I missed getting back to this thread!

A book I will invest in thanks.

I first heard of it at 9 from watching a documentary, got diagnosed at 11 and was told pretty much straight away. My parents told me I remember it like it was yesterday.
For me the diagnosis started off as exciting, then I hated it for a while because I was being patronised at school now I aren't really bothered, if that's who I am then so be it I say.