how did you guys do in mathematical proofs?

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College is much more than just math. That statement made no sense. Some people cannot grasp the simple concept of math, let alone be good at it, yet they have just as much right to a college education as the next person. Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, so what the hell is your problem?

Odd that we're having to teach Lonermutant, an aspie, that the need for accommodation for a disability does not equate to an inability to complete a university education. I think he's just trolling.

Of course, it looks like he's just an artist so perhaps he doesn't have an appreciation for just how hard pure mathematics really is.

And for diehard: Try to put romantics ideas with the prof out of your head because you can't date while you're in his class. And truthfully, as someone who's been on the other side, the 15 year difference is too great, IMHO, and that fact you are struggling makes you less attractive. Romance isn't impossible but the odds are against you. Anyway, you should be focusing on school.

I suck at math /:

Don't worry though, there are other things besides math you can be good at.

That is a little off base. You would have then told me I don't belong in college then, because I have dyscalculia. According to your advice I should've dropped out even though I was just short of honors because of mathmatics. I suppose you must've forgotten that we are all gifted in certain ways and that is what makes the world go round.
Sorry your statement doesn't compute.

LOL.

Though I should point out here, if you are reasonably bright (which I hope the OP is), by taking advantage of the resources, you can become pretty amazing. I have needed help in the past, tbh I actually now have pretty good relationships with all my lecturers - which benefits us mutually.

You would be amazed how many aspies actually want to fight all the disability rights stuff. I had to explain to a (obviously aspie) lecturer that its kind of illegal in the modern era to totally ignore welfare - he just refused to acknowledge the idea. I would say the majority of my maths lecturers are quite oblivious and most of them are on the spectrum somewhere....

One thing that has really struck me about being in a maths department is the completely different people some Aspies are...

Its a piss subject if you have been taught it properly. The problem is that most people have not been.

Nothing to stop you dating a professor, there is one I know who actually tries to pull students in tutorials. Unsuccessfully I might add..

Yeesh. Talk about taking advantage of your position.

Profs and students shouldn't date. Period. If you're completely and totally utterly in love then you'd better transfer to a different school because however honest you are, it's going to look like you're trading love for grades.

You could argue both of them are...

Because?

Its not going to look like anything if you keep it discrete (obviously tell a couple of close friends not at the uni to cover your arse).

Even when a prof tries not to let a romantic relationship affect his teaching, it's still going to figure into how he handles the grading, even if only subconsciously. It can cause some real friction if he has to give a low grade, or even if he gives honestly earned high grades and the student isn't sure whether they really are honestly earned.

It's very nearly as bad as dating your therapist, though there's not as much potential for psychological damage.

Like I said, if you're going to date a prof, you need to transfer to a different school before you do it, or at the very least never take any of his classes (though even that is iffy--other professors might be influenced if they knew you were their colleague's significant other, especially if the prof in question held the department chair or had some other relatively powerful position.)

The joys of anonymous marking, which all universities are supposed to have. Also - remember everything is double marked. The reason your grade might go up is because you get an awful lot more contact with a professor, nothing much else.

Nah - teacher student relationships happen quite often tbh.

You just need to keep the relationship quiet - no big deal...

UNLESS MY IQ IS LOWER THAN 120, IN WHICH I ASSUME MOST ASPIES ARE NOT UNDER AND I AM ONE, I WOULDN'T APPROACH HIM IN A ROMANTIC MANNER UNTIL THE POINT WHERE I WON'T HAVE AN ACADEMIC RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. im planning to add him to my msn after my result and chat with him regulary and get to know each other more, then i'll go into the main idea. such a cute boy. awwwww. i love him so much. anyone have any other ideas on how to approach him romantically other than not approaching him.

btw, i think kangeroo is being supportive. thanks for it.

if it's not him, i don't think i'll ever like someone again. this will be my my last love whether it works or not. boyfriend wasn't on my schedule anyways, so one miss is enough for something that i wasn't expecting to do.

Last edited by diehard on 13 Mar 2009, 4:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think you'd benefit academically by finding a way to take a class with a different teacher. If you are crushin on your prof, of course you aren't going to concentrate and focus. If you can't switch classes, then I suggest you supplement on your own time with someone else or with your own research.

But now as far as approaching him romantically, um, I tried asking out my teacher in high school once. It didn't work out. But I did it on a dare, so no big deal. But he was good looking and I would have loved to hit that. Anyway, my suggestion is to just chit chat with him and try to find his interests, especially his social interests like where he goes on his own time. If you have similar interests, he might just invite you sometime to join him. The thing is to not be afraid to talk to him. That's how crushes end up as a crush rather than a relationship. Low self esteem and lack of confidence will play a role in that. So often remind yourself of how smart you are, and look in the mirror with pride at looking at your sexy self. Know you are smart and good looking and the perfect person for any man to date, and if he's not interested, then he must be brain dead. The confidence is very important. If you don't act like you are good enough for yourself, then why would anyone else think otherwise? Kinda like if you don't respect yourself, how can you expect someone else to? Start small and work your way up...baby steps. Start up looking for friendship, and if anything else was meant to be, it will happen. Keep in mind that chemistry plays a major role, and you cannot control that.

But I will caution you. 15 years difference is a big deal at any age. Maturity differences make relationships hard. In my case, my hubby is 6 years younger than me, and it drives me crazy that he isn't thinking about retirement, children's future, our deaths, and other things we need to financially plan for. No, he wants to save up to buy an ESP guitar.

you've got yourself a funny hubby there hah. can i actually go to his office hours to just talk to him other than math? this monday im going to go again. what are some things i could talk about other than where he likes to go or should even mention this now? i was afraid to talk to him initially, but im not anymore. i think i can be pretty open with him. should i tell him that i have ocd, AS and maybe add or not? it seems like there're other aspies who don't do well with this course because it's proofs, in which results are too self-evident to prove. i feel the same way.

When talking, let him do most of it. And you are allowed to talk about things outside of math. I've talked about football, current events, and the weather with many profs on many occasions. When it comes to things about you, remain a mystery. Give enough information to make him want to know more about you. Like watch the local news and pay attention to their teasers like when they say, up later blah blah blah. THey say those things to try to get people to watch more. Notice how the good stories aren't until later? Another one to analyze is a mystery novel / tv show. Pay attention to when they reveal clues. Movies are especially good for this. Meet the Robinsons is a great movie on the concept of revelation. That movie had me hooked. If you like scary, um Steven King's Storm of the Century is good. The main thing is you want to build supsense and mystery about yourself. The easiest way to do that is keep him talking about himself. Most men like to do that anyway. You can say some things about yourself or you will seem too standoffish on that, but at the same time, don't give too much information. Watch your TMI's at first. Save those for friends. When he becomes one, that's cool, but until then, keep things light. The AS n ocd n add would be tmi, but if he says he's one of them, you can say you r 2. funny is good too. sense of humor is important 2 dudes.

but men really love women who listen, and really do listen, and many men love the mother figure. they like to have that woman who puts the bandaid on their cut, cooks them a nice meal, rubs their back when they r sick...u know, nurture. Men also like to hunt. That's why they say to play hard to get. But not many of them will actually chase. So they are lousy hunters. Either way, you want to be available and convenient, but you can't make it too easy for them to have you. This also works well with the mystery. You want him to be where one minute he thinks you like him, but the next minute, he's not sure. It also makes for great fourplay. It's also games, and if he's a no games type of guy, then your best bet is to keep it real. Be careful on that read. Some guys claim to be no games type of guys, and they are game freaks. Some never think about it and can go either way. But if he's a math nerd, then he might be looking for more of a sure thing and doesn't like too much mystery. But if he's athletic, then he might be more interested in teh animal games and the idea of competition, a good work out, etc. Part of the thrill of the race is trying to win. When some women say "men are dogs" that is very much partly true. Ever notice in a room full of people, the dog has to hang out with the dog hater. With cats, it's usually because the cat hater is less intimidating. With dogs, I think it's a social desire to be accepted by that human, so they try all the harder to get it. All people are kinda like that. Everybody wants what they think they can't have. They just don't go after it all the time, which is why you just have to find that balance between being conveniently available and interested AND being unavailable playing hard to get. IT really is a game that takes many attempts to master. Once mastered, it can also get very old, especially when you get old.

Now on the age thing, he will be attracted to your youth. Most men like women who are younger than them. So you want to be intellectually curious. That's a youth thing. You should be curious about everything. This is also the time when you should be like thinking about who you are and what you stand for. Naive is a good thing. Men love naive and vulnerable. Just don't be naive when it comes to men and the things they can do because it hurts pretty bad if you weren't expecting it. But because he's older, he will never take you seriously if you completely act your age. He'll find energy, curiosity, hungry for your cause, and naive sexy, but he will want a woman who is mature enough to think about her future as well as his, to take things like a relationship seriously, take their religion seriously, be a little more conservative, etc. Like with the example with my husband, you may think he's funny, but I'm taking our finances seriously and don't want to blow all our money on toys. It's seriously got me thinking on occasion about the awful "D" word, well more like separation first, but we all know how that usually ends. The main thing is if a man's maturity level is higher than yours, and he knows it and still doesn't care when it comes to the things that really matter in life (like his future), then he's probably just looking for sex. That's a good sign on a man's intentions. If he's only concerned about the past or present, then more than likely, he's not relationship material. If he's deeply concerned about his future without you prompting any thoughts on it, then he's more likely looking for a serious relationship.

Either way, to quote the p**** cat dolls, "Be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it." Given you might just get it whether you wish for it or not, but it kinda goes with a cliche of "Practice makes perfect. Be careful what you practice."

you seem like a relationship coach. thanks for writing all that. that was a lot of information. i'll use that as a map to find him. he's a humourous, very caring, nice guy i think. he seems realistic and easy-going. i would think that he wants a serious relationship, but it seems like he doesn't have a girl right now. he travels a lot. how do i find out his marital status anyways. i think he doesn't have a ring and doesn't have any pictures on his table.

what are some of the topics i should bring up on monday? he's from australia and i was going to ask if he watched autralian open(a tennis event). i don't know if this is too late to bring up. it ended like 2 months ago.

so the fact that im with the disability resource center could be a mystery to him, wondering what my issue is. make him keep wondering regardless of him wondering or not?

heh, I have that same problem. Sometimes it would give me headaches because I was trying to work out to much stuff in my head for long periods of time.