My mom told me I should kill myself.

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I would miss you, for what it's worth! You're one of the people I expect to see on these forums, and if the day ever comes that you're not around, I'm going to be pissed. Obviously I'm resistant as hell to change, but at the same time you seem like a good fella. Life REALLY sucks sometimes, but it's never bad enough for a person to end it all. I thought I had it bad when my mother kept telling me for a while that she wanted to kill herself, if she'd told me to kill myself I might have knocked the crap out of her.

OUCH.

Have you confronted her about this.

What I find most disturbing is that they (your mum and sister) had been discussing you in such a way. I can understand the the stress of having a extremely distressed son might cause but to come to the conclusion they did .............

WOW

That is bad, both that she said those things and that she was getting drunk in front of you. To me, it sounds like a lot of problems she is experiencing are her own.

Sorry to hear that. But perhaps it was one of those moments where when you get angry you don't think about what you're saying. My dad got angry at me once and acccidentally said "Good for nothing," but he didn't mean it.

My mother criticized my brother's clothes, his hair, his demeanor, his everything. Now, he cannot go to a job interview without throwing up first from anxiety.

Verbal abuse damages severely. What you received was severe verbal abuse.

Mw99, it doesn't sound like she was actually suggesting you kill yourself, though I agree that was an awful thing for her to say. I think what she meant to imply was more along the lines of, "If you don't learn to take care of yourself what's the point of living?" The way she said it did sound extremely harsh. Maybe you should ask her what she actually meant? I'm sorry if I sound like I'm minimalising your pain, I'm really not.

That is terrible, that they actually said behind your back that they want you to die. I'd move out if my family said that about me, I suffer from paranoia so I'd be scared that my mum would try and kill me. But that's just me, I'm sure your family wouldn't do that to you.

I overheard my mum say to her boyfriend the other day, "I can't take it anymore, I want someone to take them both away." (Me and my brother, that is.) As far as I'm concerned, she can jog on if she don't want me, I don't wanna live with her either. And at least she apparently hates my brother too, not just me (that's a definite improvement).

Yes, verbal abuse is far more damaging than physical abuse from my experience. I have this barrier in my mind that prevents me from being the person I should be due to the verbal abuse I recieved when I was younger. Because of that abuse, I rarely say something that I mean unless I really know the person, and have had to really bs because I am afraid of recieving the criticism I got in the past for my different thinking, and I try to hide these differences when I want to embrace them.

Parents aren't perfect. Just as we aren't. We're all allowed to snap sometimes. Do you complain a lot about being alive to her? Do you do anything about it? My pet hate is ppl complaining about situations they can fix, or at least try to fix. Maybe she just snapped because of that. She's worried about you. Just like most parents are about their own children.

It shouldn't matter how rhetorical it is, or how much she 'didn't mean it'. Let her know that what she's said something that has hurt you, something that no mother should ever say. Did she honestly think that she could just say something like this and not expect it to hurt? And if she throws 'it's very hard to take care of you because you are disabled' at you, just tell her that disability is no excuse. So sorry to hear that.

slap her in the f****n' head and hide the coffee brandy

I'm sorry you had to be subjected to that. That sort of abuse is out of line to say the least.

it's always easy to say - let her know, talk to her.. when my mom complains about my computer, my hair, my room, my life, that she doesn't see that i prepare for my future exams at all, then.. well, i'm just silent as fish though my inner voice bursts my head from inside. and it lasts since i was born. i'm still surprised how she didn't guess anything about me (i'm not diagnosed with anything).
and yes, my parents told me not once and not twice things like - we gave you birth, so we will kill you. they didn't mean that literally, but i'm always scared of that threatening tone of voice.. eek

that's verbal and emotional abuse. most parents are like that

To the OP, I agree with Ephemerella about it being rhetorical. Yeah, your mom could have come up with something better. The important thing is to remain in your adult. If you approach these situations from your child (like your mom did), then you basically got two children running around with no supervision.

My suggestion, go get your hair cut. buy some new clothes. While you are at it, do something enjoyable with it. go see a movie or spend a little at the arcade or buy youself something little you like or maybe plan a day with mom together to do all that with a nice dinner somewhere.

That is totally messed up. Maybe you should talk to your sis to find out what was actually said from her side, and then consider getting your mom in some sort of alcohol rehab program if applicable and at least some therapy.