Do you have problems with "awareness"?

Post Reply New Topic

awareness of WHAT?

i can't answer the question. i will try though.

i have very heightened and specific awareness of some things - visuals and patterns and special interest stuff. i have lousy awarenss of people in social groups. facial expressions when people are talking. and a host of other things.

This is a common trait amongst aspergers. Because we do not 'get' the social intrecacies we can often be innapropriate, I used to get into terrible trouble and fights with my partner over this. Since the DX we have a code for when I need to back off ina social context, sometimes I ignore her but upon reflection she has generally been correct.

I used to think I had a great deal of empathy now I realise that I have a lot of sympathy. IE I can logically tell when something must be bad but I cannot feel the pain.



Yes I have had this problem, the solution is difficult, I now trust my partner far more than ever before and rely upon her judgement in social settings, I also tend to ask more questions and phrase my answers in a more open manner.

We were on the verge of break up before my DX, things a a lot better now. Does your girlfriend know much about AS. If not this is a good place to start.

Your GF needs to start telling you these things when you aren't "aware" of them! How in the heck are you supposed to act on something if you don't know it's there? Cluing people in when they're socially oblivious is part of loving an Aspie.

not really.
at least none that i am aware of.

Well I received a tremendous amount of "constructive" criticism like this from my wife over many years.

It did gradually make me more aware that other people perceived my words and actions differently from my intentions. And that was kind of helpful. I think I have really tried to be more observant of other people, averse to saying anything negative, and I try hard to find something positive to say in every conversation. It also makes me more wary of social interaction because I've learned how prone I am to unintentionally saying things that are insulting or hurtful.

Your relationship may or not not work out. The important thing is whether your GF can understand that you did not intend to be inconsiderate. If she can understand how you see a particular event then she can help you understand how other people may have seen it differently.