Weddings and other ceremonies

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Sallamandrina
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21 Mar 2009, 3:47 pm

MizLiz wrote:

I dunno. I wonder if anyone else saw it all as being as ridiculous as I see it. They really need to go through this set up?

I hear you. Hubby and I skipped the whole thing altogether. We got married at the City Hall, dressed in jeans and accompanied only by our witnesses. After a week or so, we had a small party with our closest friends - no wedding dress, cake or whatever - and we had a great time. I think your wedding day should be a happy occasion for you, a celebration of love, but it seems it was turned into something meant to satisfy other people's egos and preconceptions, with the "happy couple" stressed out of their minds.

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Morgana
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21 Mar 2009, 5:11 pm

MizLiz wrote:

I think everything being scripted and predictable just makes it more obvious to me that it's fake.

My brother's getting married soon and his girlfriend is tearing herself to pieces planning everything so that it's "perfect". I just don't get it. I can't possibly see myself going to such lengths.

I agree with you. Weddings are lame. Not only that, but I find them so tacky- usually; (although my brother had a nice wedding). Even when I was a child, I thought they seemed rather tacky. I have nothing against romance or celebrations, actually, it´s just the way it´s done...I don´t know, I often think our culture is just weird.

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ruveyn
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21 Mar 2009, 7:02 pm

MizLiz wrote:

On a different forum I go to there's a topic about if you got married right now, would you already know who your best man/maid of honor would be.

I got to thinking... the whole affair of weddings strikes me as terribly contrived. There's just something incredibly fake about it. Anytime I've been to one, it's been like watching something that's staged.

Does anyone else feel this way?

It is a kind of play, as are most rituals.

If one wishes to share the occasion with one's peers and friends then some kind of rite marking the event is appropriate.

If one is not into conventional or traditional rituals, one can make one up to suit his fancy or not have any rituals at all. For marriage all one needs to do is get a magistrate to authorize the marriage and it is legally established. One does not need anything else other than one or two witnesses besides the principals and the magistrate.

If one is not into marriage contracts, then the two people can live together and set up house. This lacks certain legal protections for the parties, but it is doable.

ruveyn

PunkyKat
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21 Mar 2009, 11:34 pm

2ukenkerl wrote:

PunkyKat wrote:

My mom keeps saying how being confirmed and baptised will be the most important events of my life. I can only enjoy myself if I am comfortable and just because some article of cloathing does not bother her, it can be painful to me. She then goes on about how not everthing done for God is supposed to plesant but then why does everyone else at the church seem to be enjoying themself. Wearing a lacey thing on the center of my head feels as if it is cutting into me. It's not enough for my parents for me to wear a rediculious dress but I also have to wear a stupid thing on my head that would be super uncomfortable. Once at church I saw a Hispanic family. The mother and daughter had a fabric cloth wrapped around their heads (simmaliar to what women wore in the time of Jesus). I asked my mom if could wear something like the Hispanic family and she said I couldn't because we are Catholic not Arabian. WTF? The Hispaic family was at the same Catholic church we were. A fabric cloth wrapped around my whole head seems more comfortable than a lacy round thing pinned to my hair. My mom said I could just wear skirt and a shirt but the shirt has to be button down. I could never tolerate wearing buttons at all even as a baby. I asked her if I could just wear a plain white turtle neck sweatshirt with a plain floor legenth skirt and she said no becuase a sweatshirt is too casual. The only way my parents could get me to go to church was letting me wear what I was comfortable in. My mom will not let me get baptised and confirmed unless I wear what she veiws dressy and appropriate for the occasion.

Since when must catholics wear anything on their heads? Oh yeah, aren't meercats cute?

OUCH!! !! ! :cry:

I was only kidding.

I think they did before the Catholic Church got so corrupted. The church I go too still has traditional Latin Mass. My parents say it wouldn’t be a good idea to wear the head covering the way the Hispanic family was because they might find it offensive or something because I am not Hispanic. The head covering they wore started with Middle Eastern women (where ever Jesus was from) not people from Hispanics. I can’t possibly see how they would find it offensive. If they said something I would say how pretty I thought it looked on them and was inspired by them to try the style myself. I don’t think they would say anything about it either. My mom says with a Latin Mass its best to dress respectfully. Personally I think a plan white turtle neck sweatshirt and plain floor length skirt would be more respectful than a Cincinnati Bear Cats or Bengals jacket I once saw a dude wear to Church. I personally think it is between God and me what I wear to church, not my parents or some family I have never met before.

:lol:

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Ana54
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22 Mar 2009, 2:37 am

Me and Adverb were going to get married in one of the many wedding chapels in Las Vegas as we were passing through there on our way back to Texas (he had gone up to Canada to pick me up and bring me back home with him) but I wasn't legal in the United States, so we couldn't. (He had sneaked me across the border after I was denied entry into the US.)

PrisonerSix
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31 Mar 2009, 12:57 pm

MizLiz wrote:

Sometimes I think they are more for showing off than anything else, plus the families tend to get into constant arguments about every detail of it. For one thing, there was an argument about where we were getting married. Her family wanted a Catholic church and since she was never confirmed and I wasn't Catholic, we'd have to jump through hoops to get married in one and since she didn't believe in the Catholic church anyway, she didn't want to do that so we got married in a community church.

Her mom also didn't like her wedding gown for the fact they didn't go shopping for it together. She knew what she wanted already so she just went and got it. She loved her dress, and I think she looked great in it. Which leads me to another thing I don't like much about weddings, the whole industry in general and the stuff they try to pull.

Wedding service providers are regular fixtures on People's Court. I've seen reception halls, DJs, bands, caterers, photographers, limousine companies, dress makers, and just about every other kind of wedding provider sued. These people charged ridiculous prices and either didn't deliver at all or did shoddy work. It's just plain crazy.

If I had it to do over again, I'd go to Vegas.

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garyww
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31 Mar 2009, 3:17 pm

Human ceremonies and rituals have always seemed strange to me. I understand and appreciate animal ceremonies and rituals but they have a purpose as ours don't actually seem to beyond 'acting'. I think they are holdovers from the old days when re-enactments were necessary for story telling purposes.

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DW_a_mom
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31 Mar 2009, 3:27 pm

ZEGH8578 wrote:

MizLiz wrote:

it IS staged.

nobody wanders around, being in love, and then just stumble into a priest, puts a ring on, hears the priest out, and kisses on his command, while everyone they know are just accidently nearby and clapping

LOL, this was my thought, also, reading the question.

And, yet ...

I had a lovely wedding. And my sister last fall had a lovely wedding. And we both had thought we knew who our honor attendants would be and were forced by providence to ask someone else (with no hurt feelings involved, either).

It is totally staged and it is the one day in your life that you are the star.

You just have to try to keep from getting too prima dona about it, lol, but just as with some real stars, some of us are better at that than others. My sister was very good at not becoming a bridezilla, but keeping loose turned out to be a little more difficult for one of her bridesmaids (not me, I swear!) ... there WAS a bridesmaidzilla, lol!

And if the whole thing doesn't appeal to a couple - skip it.

My NT daughter loves the idea of having a wedding some day ... my AS son looks at me as if I'm crazy if I mention anything about love, dating, weddings ... although he did a stand up job participating in my sister's wedding. Still, I so know it's not going to be his thing.

Yeah, a very silly tradition that some of us fall for anyway.

Or not so silly - my sister's wedding was a grand family reunion, a happy occasion, 9 months following my father's death. As a family event, it was fantastic. Not huge, just lovely. Relatives from overseas; everything.

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Spokane_Girl

31 Mar 2009, 4:38 pm

I have been to a few weddings. I remember first going to one when I was almost three and I was put in a room with other kids and another boy gave me an animal cracker. I didn't know what was going on then and why I was sitting in the pew and then why I was placed in a room with other kids with nothing to do. I just stared around into space and then I spotted the boy with animal crackers and they were my favorite then and I wanted them so I kept staring at the box he held in his hand.

I remember going to another wedding when I was four and I did better. I knew what was going on then because I had experienced it before. Then after the church, we all headed to another places and I saw the cake and kept touching it because I wanted to eat it and I couldn't understand why I couldn't have it. I also remember a guy playing the piano and I kept playing with the keys at the other end.

I went to another wedding when I was almost 18 and it was around 4th of July. It was taken place out doors under the canopy and then we went into the building and I got bored and restless because nothing great was going on. So I left. turned out the cake was stale so I was glad I didn't stay for that.

I went to another one when I was 20 and I didn't stay for the pictures because it was windy outside and they were taking so dang long to snap the photo of all of us so I just went inside and the rain was coming. We all had to take our coats off just for the photo and it was real frustrating the photography man was stalling. Just snap the damn photo and be done with it, jeez. So I decided, f**k him, I'm going inside, so I did. Then right after they snapped it, it started to rain. I sat out playing my games and listening to my own music because the music was too loud so I sat away from the party. Few of my relatives came over and chatted with me and my dad and my mother.

I don't think it's staged. It's just watching two people getting married. I'm going to have an NT wedding because I'm inviting lot of people. All I care about it getting married to my bf and have the cake and be done. It be great to see my relatives again but shame not all of them are coming and it be great to see my bf's side of the family. My old school friend said she be there too so I'm looking forward to seeing her there and ask her about her Benny & Joon assignment she did for class last fall. She said she was too busy to answer my question about it on myspace so I will ask her again when I see her.

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