So in what ways can you, not relate to people?

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Neurotypicals need to do that. That is basis of neurotypical civilisation.

I may be unaware of most of what I don't understand. I have a really good understanding of psychology and sociology; but my ability to apply those things is limited.

My big thing with people is that I'm not really very interested, and don't really form close relationships. With people, it's kind of... out of sight, out of mind. People move away and I don't really miss them.

It's difficult to communicate in real-time and doesn't offer much reward; so I don't really bother to do it a lot.

I think we'll have to agree to disagree. We're obviously coming at this from very different places *shrugs*

I don't understand how people can say that philosophy makes their head hurt. It's a metaphor, I know this, but I've no idea what it means.

Also, I don't think that bullying is the basis of human civilisation, because if it was then pleasant people wouldn't be held up as figures of virtue.

Last edited by McTell on 23 Mar 2009, 6:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

http://aspergia.moroccoforum.net/forum.htm

If I am correct about what you mean by that, that is actually a theory of mind issue. It is something that young children (infants) experience, if it is not there, they are not aware of it to think about it. For me, that manifests itself in a way where if I do not interact with someone (close family excepted) I lose interest in that person, because I lose what keeps the relationship going, the interaction with that person. Unfortunatly this means I lose friends pretty easily, as they come and go, and the lack of interaction makes me forget about them...

Why they find my obsessions boring. Seeing as my lifeniz them, it's really frustrating when they think I'm wasting my life putting all my free time into them-there is no 'life' without them, they've all got it all wrong.
While I do have trouble understanding intentions of people and people in general, I think it's more a problem both not understanding and relating to me.
EMZ=]

Last edited by Emor on 24 Mar 2009, 2:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

I could have said basically the same thing.

One thing that gives me that alien-like feeling when I'm around people is my lack of ability to communicate on the same wavelength as they are on. I often spend a better part of the conversation trying to interpret their way of thinking and reasoning; and they, in turn, seem to spend a lot of the time asking me to explain myself to them.

I don't relate to

* Power games
* Caring deeply about sports teams
* Binge-drinking and so on
* Marriage and children
* How people ask what's wrong, you state what's wrong, then they accuse you of making them feel bad
* Unethical behaviour for profit or social position
* Having little to no curiosity about how things work
* Warm expressions of friendship (hugging, kissing etc.) towards those you barely know. (Actually, even towards friends and family)
* People in powerful social positions lacking the basic concepts of logic (and if it's simply a tactic, then that too)

...

^ i can relate to this.

Social communication in person; I just can't communicate with people. Literal interpretations, not understanding the social hierarchy, the lack of nonverbal cues (reading and displaying), the lack of empathy, the lack of censoring my thoughts, etcetera, are all secondary to my lack of social communication. I just don't know how to communicate.

The Daniel on the 'net and the Daniel out there are two different manifestations of the same thoughts; one doesn't do anything in regards to social interaction (because he can't), and the other isn't too bad, but the secondary effects start to come into play then.

I don't think I could divulge my even inner thoughts to anyone even if I wanted to. I don't tend to think about my life or other people very much. When I daydream it's mostly images and concepts running through my head. I'm always theorizing about stuff that wouldn't be worth explaining to anyone.

The fact that I'm always thinking makes me feel alien. I'm rarely happy just experiencing the moment. My mind is always questioning and theorizing and when it stops I get bored and depressed. I often fantasize about not having a body. No need to eat or sleep or work. I could just float anywhere I want and observe and think nonstop.

The reason I don't connect isn't that I'm shy. It's just that my mind is always elsewhere. I also get irritated when people intrude and interrupt my thought process.

I can't relate very well in terms of office politics.

I've never really understood relationship drama, as it's outside my experience.
Perhaps if I'd been exposed to it, I'd have a better understanding of it, but the thing is, I haven't. Perhaps it is harder to understand and relate to things that are outside our normal experiences.

As an analogy, my life has been like a stage with all the scenery wings (the physical environment) in front and the human actors at the back. To me, the people seem incidental compared to the surrounding environment. This isn't "wrong" or "sick": I've known several people who've thought this way who put this kind of perception to good use.

So, it's not that I can't ever relate to connect to people, it's just that I have to fight my way through the distractions of the immediate scenery to get to them.

With most other people, I guess this "stage" set up is the other way round and they're actually on "stage" with the other "actors". I guess that this is why some of my issues are the exact reverse of most other people's.

I agree with you, and I'm female.

Difficulties I have with people:

I don't understand how they can spend hours talking and still, at the end of it all, have not really said anything - i.e., have not exchanged any information that's especially new or could be of any real interest to anyone with a grain of intelligence. There was an excellent topic here recently ('NTs do things with conversation') which enlightened me a little to the fact that it's apparently just the social interaction that's important to them, not what's being said... but is it not possible to 'socialize' and still combine it with discussing interesting ideas?

I have trouble reading nonverbal cues and responding appropriately. I often feel as if I understand interaction in theory, and if I watch people, I can usually get a sense of whether they're doing it 'wrong' or 'right', but when I come to interact, I can't seem to process the information fast enough to apply it to my own behavior.

I don't understand why people do things that they sometimes don't even particularly enjoy, just because it's the normal/expected thing to do. I don't understand what I call 'ritual' behavior, where you do something just because 'that's what people do' on that date/in that situation, etc., in general, and why people can really get very angry if you don't wish to join in and do it.

I don't understand why people who you meet, on a very brief, casual level or for professional purposes, want to know unnecessary personal information about you. Why would they possibly care? Similarly, why would they think you would care about the information they offer about themselves or other people? Being expected to be interested in others who you don't know puzzles me, period.

I don't understand why most people are unable to accept that anyone could see things differently than them. The mantra of 'everybody's different', to them, only describes surface preferences, such as liking Pepsi rather than Coke. The idea that someone could actually have a fundamentally different way of thinking is utterly beyond their comprehension.

I don't understand why being 'fashionable' to one degree or another is so important. Or how people can be brainwashed by fashion and actually begin to believe that they like to wear or do something they hated two years ago, just because it's now 'fashionable'.

I don't understand why they have such a high concern with how others, who may be basically irrelevant in their life or even total strangers, see them, and why they're always desperate to project the 'right' image.