Do you feel more isolated when in a crowd?

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yeah same here with a bunch of people im the only one who dosent talk.
but with one other person its ok cuz im forced to talk but sometimes theres awkward silences cuz i dont know what to say after that.

It really depends on what kind of a crowd it is.

If it's a crowd of strangers that I know won't support/help, is in direct competition with me, is oblivious to the fact that I exist or is impersonal to me (such as a shopping centre crowd). If I don't feel that I belong to the crowd or the social atmosphere is toxic/destructive/questionable then, yes.

If the crowd is friendly, jolly, contains members of my family/very close friends who are looking out for me and won't abandon me if anything goes wrong. Who talk to me, but still let me have my own space (e.g. a small informal family gathering/hotel crowd on holiday). Then, No.

If I have to deal with too many people at once, I feel very uncomfortable and over stimulated.

This is why it's helpful if I can be allowed take "time out" to collect my thoughts from crowded situations.

With extreme crowding and talking, I can only tolerate 5 minutes at most and have to be accompanied by someone else. If I soon feel very overwhelmed, upset, confused and lost.

Being forced to interact with people who really don't really care two iotas about you or pretend to care is the most frustrating and lonely experience.

Last edited by AmberEyes on 28 Mar 2009, 1:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes. Absolutley, esp. at work. People tend to be "cliquish" at my job and while I pretty much get along with my co-workers, when its not one on one its so damn hard for me. The awkward silences/pauses, not knowing what to say next and keep the ball rolling, feeling distracted or dissociating. That kind of thing. And feeling like you're behind a wall of glass, cut off from everyone around you and feeling like an observer, story of my life. I've had to really force myself to interact and even after all this time its still so damn hard. But I spend a lot of time at my job and I refuse to allow it to be a hell of my own making, though sometimes it does feel like that.

I guess I can be OK with small talk and pleasantries there, but sometimes not being included really does get to me.

And me.

It begins to wear me down after a while.

I start to think:
"Why even bother trying to be nice and polite to these people if they won't reciprocate?"

Exactly, I've felt like that more times than I can remember. But at least at my current job people there are a lot nicer than at some past jobs I've had. And yet, I'm still odd man out. With strangers though, its way worse for me. Sometimes if I feel really self-conscious I just can't go to parties, or I'll go and leave early, and that doesn't help.

Sounds very familiar.

When I was a kid, I remember that I felt stifled, or like going mad when in a very crowded market, for example (I have a clear memory of one such event). That was really uncomfortable. Just the number of people in one close space was what freaked me out. Not being able to walk at my own pace made me very irritable, and not having enough room around me, I guess I kinda felt "locked up" in a way. There have been occasions where it (felt like it) had a physical reaction, where I couldn't breathe freely.

Nowadays I can handle large crowds better. I just don't allow myself to get too annoyed by the slow walking of people, I just zone out and ignore that feeling.

In general, I'm most comfortable alone, or in smallish groups. Being alone with another person is quite uncomfortable, unless we have a clear "purpose" (business, gaming, whatever).

^ I also hate it when I'm stuck behind people who are walking slowly. I'm nearly always the fastest-walking person around and it's so frustrating to have to slow down for the people plodding in front of me, especially when they randomly stop to point something out to their friend and I nearly walk into them.

It's even worse if you go to someone's party, feel like you're surrounded by aliens for the whole evening and everyone else is having fun apart from you.

People don't even make the effort to say hello or notice you even after you've offered to buy them all several rounds of drinks.

If you're female, it's after dark at some late hour and no-one will walk you home or there aren't any taxis available it's unbearable. Everyone else seems to have magically made arrangements apart from you, so the host gets angry... Not good.

In the past I have made several attempts to connect with people within groups but was typically disregarded, ignored, and ostracized. And sometimes that didn't take very long. When I'm in a crowded place like a shopping mall, I will invariably look for a way out because being with too many people is just too close for comfort for me.