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Greentea
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30 Mar 2009, 11:45 pm

:lol: This year I'm ready for them - I've bought a mosquito net and some double sided masking tape, I'll tape that to my bedroom window.

And yes, cooperation is the key word here.


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CanyonWind
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30 Mar 2009, 11:57 pm

I love listening to them buzz around the mosquito netting, thinking about how frustrated they are.


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They murdered boys in Mississippi. They shot Medgar in the back.
Did you say that wasn't proper? Did you march out on the track?
You were quiet, just like mice. And now you say that we're not nice.
Well thank you buddy for your advice...
-Malvina


Greentea
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31 Mar 2009, 12:07 am

Then I'll put up a road sign on the net too, with an arrow signaling the direction to my nemesis neighbour's window.


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Tim_Tex
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31 Mar 2009, 7:04 am

That has been a major issue I have had with people. Some people blatantly bragged about it as well.



Greentea
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31 Mar 2009, 9:51 am

How did they brag? Like "I can use people and give nothing in return?"


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Tim_Tex
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01 Apr 2009, 11:48 am

Not like that, but it was more like "I can give emotional support, but I don't want to feel like I have to".



CanyonWind
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01 Apr 2009, 1:37 pm

Whoa, hang on, back to the initial assumptions of the inquiry.

Normal people ain't like us. For them, social interactions are a game of intuitive quick responses, like ping pong. For us, it's more like chess, where you think about the reasons for each move.

You can't stop to analyze motives and strategy in a ping pong game, you have to just immediately react, and if your reactions are usually appropriate to the momentary circumstances, you're a good ping pong player.


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They murdered boys in Mississippi. They shot Medgar in the back.
Did you say that wasn't proper? Did you march out on the track?
You were quiet, just like mice. And now you say that we're not nice.
Well thank you buddy for your advice...
-Malvina


Greentea
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01 Apr 2009, 1:42 pm

CanyonWind wrote:
For them, social interactions are a game of intuitive quick responses, like ping pong. For us, it's more like chess, where you think about the reasons for each move.


I don't think anyone ever expressed the difference between NTs and Aspies in a social interaction better than that metaphor. It's going into my brilliant WP forum quotes Word folder.

As to why people do this take-and-take rather than give-and-take, I think the answer is that they do that to me. Because I'm so unlikable that the only reason someone is in touch with me if ever is to get something from me for nothing.


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warface
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01 Apr 2009, 8:04 pm

Greentea wrote:
CanyonWind wrote:
For them, social interactions are a game of intuitive quick responses, like ping pong. For us, it's more like chess, where you think about the reasons for each move.


I don't think anyone ever expressed the difference between NTs and Aspies in a social interaction better than that metaphor. It's going into my brilliant WP forum quotes Word folder.


Yea that's brilliant


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RoisinDubh
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01 Apr 2009, 9:18 pm

One of the major complaints I have about people and trying to maintain friends, as well as one of the major reasons I often think I'd be better off ditching everyone for a cloistered nunnery on a mountain. :roll:

Greentea wrote:
How did they brag? Like "I can use people and give nothing in return?"


I've actually heard people brag this way, and it makes me ill.


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Postperson
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01 Apr 2009, 11:20 pm

They're constantly scanning for 'opportunity' whether social, sexual or financial, which we aren't, so they profit from that. They're not shy about asking either.



CanyonWind
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01 Apr 2009, 11:48 pm

I think it may be true that aspies are more likely to be expected to get involved in take-take relationships.

Back in the seventies, a biologist named Trivers coined the technical term "reciprocal altruism" to describe a phenomenon seen in some animals. It's a simple idea. If a group of the same individuals stays together, it can be in your advantage to do a favor for another individual in the group if that individual is likely to do a favor for you in the future.

In evolutionary terms, if it seems unlikely that the individual will be able to do anything to benefit you, there's no point in doing anything for them.

Seems to be a widespread behavior among humans. Aspies are the only ones who talk to their boss the same way they talk to the janitor.


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They murdered boys in Mississippi. They shot Medgar in the back.
Did you say that wasn't proper? Did you march out on the track?
You were quiet, just like mice. And now you say that we're not nice.
Well thank you buddy for your advice...
-Malvina