How do other Aspies find happiness?

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Personally, my special interests and obsessions always revolve around a romantic interest. Right now I am very happy because my current special/romantic interest is an aspie who's special interest is me! So we are very happy to spend all our time together and all our energy to make the other happy. It is a wonderful thing!

i do not think i am "happy".
i am "complacent".

i am content with how i am, and i can sleep soundly after being "me" all day.

i am lucky to have a mind that sees easily how to solve computorial problems and construct frameworks to perform procedures, and i like to write better systems to replace company's flimsy ones that caused the problem that they ask me to solve.

so i get a good income and i do not worry much about money.

i think if an acutely autistic person with intelligence (severe AS) has money to ensure their security (with regard to maintaining life style routines that are crucial to complacency), that they will be "complacent" like me.

i am considered "happier" than all the people i know by those (included in who i "know") that have made that assessment.

i do not know what "happy" is, but i am very "snug" in my existence.

I'm similar on the happiness side.

Pursuing my special interests makes me happy (or closer to it). Telling a good joke or funny insight and making my wife laugh makes me happy or at least give me a buzz. I tend to be immune to praise because I either dont believe them or dont value their opinion anyway.

Natural beauty gets me closer to happy. Not side of the road beauty, I really need to be off the beaten track and see something I think is wild and rarely seen. Makes me happy, or happier.

I must join the club of Willa and Bataar. I don't remember a time when I was really happy. Sure there were moments I was happy, but I can give for each moment of happiness also a moment when I wasn't. But maybe that my diagnosis can turn the tables around. Before I was unhappy because I didn't know why I was different, didn't fit in and didn't follow the usual path of life. A year ago, I did get my diagnosis and now I am trying to come in terms with my condition. I now know why I was so unhappy and I can explain it. And sure, there will be difficult times ahead and I still have not embraced Asperger's completely, but I can feel that I am changing my expectations of life, the social culture and how I want to go on in life. Maybe, I'll never find happiness but I think breaking some walls may help me. You might never know.

I know what you mean. I have been trying different things- currently I am taking a TON of classes as the college. I am three weeks in and I am still not happy. Just do what I am doing and keep trying different things and hope to get lucky?

I complately agree. I might not be diagnosed but if I could get rid of my "aspie traits" and ADHD I'd do it in a heartbeat.

on topic though, I'm pretty sure that what makes me most unhappy is coping with things that "normals" find easy- like getting out of bed in the morning, going to work/school, keeping the house tidy, paying the bills, remembering to buy food, doing my tax declaration (I still have 2 weeks left but it might not be enough...). basically all the life's chores I find extremely hard to cope with.

there's many things that I should be a lot more upset and unhappy about, but I'm very zen about the serious stuff for some reason.

my favourite fantasy is that of being ridiculously rich and having a butler exactly like the one Bruce Wayne had in Batman (was his name Alfred? I think it was...), basically someone who'd do all the chores for me and be a good "support", but not too friendly or clingy like a regular family member. plus, unlimited resources to pursue my interests and not have to go to work, ever again.

Letting go of "Stuff."
Particularly ideas and should-be's.


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I can see how aspies may tend to be less than happy, take the two following observations:
1) Aspies are in general smarter than most people, often having IQs upward of 135, and
2) Smart people tend to be less happy than less intelligent people. I have heard this from several sources over the last decade. I think it is because smart people can see how screwed up things really are (the current economy for example), while the less intel (I still gots mah job at the 7-11, and TV every night, what, me worry?). And it takes more to stimulate and fulfill a smart person. Smart people would have higher expectations as well.

Take 1 and 2 together and Voila!

I'm probably one of the people on the board that seem to be happy all the time. I'm certainly happy with my aspergers - we're inseparable and I wouldn't accept a "cure".

Aspergers brings with it a side-effect of depression and I'm really depressed quite often. I think about death a lot and I'd probably welcome an opportunity to go out - especially in a blaze of glory, if the opportunity presented itself.

Thing is though, I've got a family to look after and these responsibilities hold me back.

When I finally learned about aspergers, aged about 37, it all started to make sense. Probably the best thing of all though, was learning that the depression was part of the condition. Knowing that it's not my life that makes me depressed but just a condition, makes it easier to ignore.

Heavy, mood- and mind-altering drugs. In large amounts.

I'm happy for you. You work hard together.

Joseph Campbell:

“Marriage is not a love affair. A love affair is a totally different thing. A marriage is a commitment to that which you are. That person is literally your other half. And you and the other are one. A love affair isn’t that. That is a relationship of pleasure, and when it gets to be unpleasurable , it’s off. But a marriage is a life commitment, and a life commitment means the prime concern of your life. If marriage is not the prime concern, you are not married.”

i find happiness in routine like sitting at home and playing counter strike source and talking to my e buddies makes me content!

Another Joseph Campbell (1904-1987) quote:

“The way to find out about happiness is to keep your mind on those moments when you feel most happy, when you are really happy — not excited, not just thrilled, but deeply happy. This requires a little bit of self-analysis. What is it that makes you happy? Stay with it, no matter what people tell you. This is what is called following your bliss.”

Since going to university I've spent less time socialising with people. I've also been happier, indeed I don't think I would have considered myself to have had much experience with happiness. Perhaps the lack of socialising is not the cause of my happiness, but I reckon it could be.

Also, having access to the university library makes me happy. I think, perhaps, happiness is an opened book.

doesn't sound evil, so it passes for me

The most frustrating thing is that I don't know how to change anything for the better. Getting a job that pays much better would be a very good thing (as it would for most people), but I don't see how I can make that happen. I don't see a way that is viable for me to make new friends or even get a girlfriend <gasp>. I'm sick to death of being bored and lonely and don't see how to change either one.