To homeschool or not to homeschool, that is the question

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No maybe not...but with a good support network, one-on-one attention, the aid of computers and virtual schooling, it's possible to excel at a faster rate and beyond what may be offered at some public schools.

The tools are out there...software such as Rosetta Stone offers instructions in over 25 languages it's used in some public schools now.

This matter has been debated to death.

1. A school "teacher" is more academically qualified to "teach" but the fact is that they are so overworked and underpaid and have too many charges and distractions that, on average, they do a pretty mediocre job in teaching kids. This does not take into account political BS in the schools that taint curriculum with things that really have nothing to do with education.

2. Any parent who has a 2-year degree has the intellectual capacity to teach their child, and the home-schooling system has material designed to provide a superior education without requiring someone with a masters or doctorate degree as the teacher.

You'll find people on both side citing success and failures of the opposing camp. For my money, the shear number of failures in public schooling outweigh the number of failures in home schooling.

It is also not uncommon for many home schooling parents to keep the kids during the most impressionable years (not teenage years, ironically) when the values of their family, their culture, their faith can be well-installed into the kid and then let the kid enter into the public school system at that age when they need to start learning independence. They trust that the quality of values they taught the child will hold fast in the face of a system that (in essence) teaches kids to reject parental values from day one.

You didn't indicate if you are the one on the spectrum or if your son is.

Those with Asperger's have been called "Perfect Targets" for being bullied. In my case I believe I would have been much better off being home schooled rather than being subjected to the horrors of public school.

Also consider the socialization process (even if you aren't a socialist). Do you want your child to experience socialization with well adjusted mature people (such as yourself), or do you want him to be socialized with a peer group of drug abusing people with no academic interests, looking only to hop from bed to bed? (Obviously this will vary by school and won't be an issue at 6 years old, but it certainly will be by High School). Your child will take on the attributes of those he associates with.

[You didn't indicate if you are the one on the spectrum or if your son is.]

My son is on the spectrum. He is very smart and part of my fear is sending him to school and having him become bored and create behavior problems.

It's no secret that with the right resources, home schooled children will do better academically and socially than their peers.

BUT....

I made a few good friends at school, three of whom are still my friends today - more than 20 years later. I'd wouldn't have met those friends (or indeed, my wife) if I'd been home schooled.

My feelings; If it's necessary, YES. If it's not necessary, let your child be "normal".

If you send him to public school they will mostly attempt to "mainstream" him. He will be held back as they teach to the lowest common denominator in the class. You know your son the best, and you will be able to sense when he has grasped a concept and is ready to move on to a new challenge.

So, based on what you have told us, I would say that your child will thrive the best with home schooling.

Public schools would give him a life of being held back; it would give him peer pressure to not stand out as being able to do intellectual things that others can't; and it will lead to being bullied once the hormones kick in. But that is just based on my own experience as someone on the spectrum that was sent to public school. Your mileage may vary.

First of all, Dussel I think went to school in Germany or something, and whatever school he went to had much more academic value than our system here in the states.

Second, as the parent, your best option is to go with your gut instinct. Yes, as a mom, God gave you this wonderful instinct to know better for your children than anyone else in this world. It's kinda like when a doctor told me to give my one year old benadryl, and I had this feeling I shouldn't. then i find out that the FDA doesn't approve it for any child under the age of 4, and then between 4-6 under doctor supervision (yeah like they all obviously know that one).

Third, sometimes if it's hard to make a decision, do both. Like, if you can't choose between which pair of shoes to buy, just buy them both. Maybe you can consider doing the public schools and homeschooling also. Like see if your kid can do a half day at school and the other half at home, or maybe just supplement a full day of school with a couple hours a night while doing the homework or something.

If you ever plan to home school first and then do the public schools, I highly suggest getting a copy of the state curriculum requirements to make sure you at least keep your child covered on all subjects. In theory, you'll do better than the state curriculum, but you want to make sure you got it all covered. I assume to home school, you do lesson plans and such, but I don't know how well it matches what is going on the public school system. Even then, most teachers do not follow the state curriculum. But it's the best thing I can think of for a basis.

Also consider the following:

1. Think back to high school. Are your fondest memories related to Academics and your ACT score, or are they of making friends, hanging out with them, prom, dances, football games, etc?

2. Will your child be interested in school activities like sports, journalism, honors society, key club, etc. These are things that schools offer that you can't at home. In addition, they often offer scholarship opportunities that you won't have at home.

3. Sometimes we all need breaks from each other. If you homeschool your child, will you make up for that break some other way? Not only do you need your "mom" time, your child needs a break from "mom" just as bad.

I was homeschooled and I'm so glad. School was destroying me, I went completely downhill.

My mother also saw that I was ASD incarnate at an early age, and worked with me to lessen it. I am far more "normal" now...I remember the days when she had to teach me to talk with a normal intonation instead of a dead cold monotone.

I know several children in 'homeschool' who regularly attend a few classes at the local public school. It is no longer an 'either-or' question.

I HATED school. It was an unsucessful immersion therapy for me and left me far less motivated to interact than I might have been with more pleasant experiences. It was not a safe place for kids, teachers had little real control. Even if they tried, it's hard to keep up with so many children. Unfortunately too many teachers are bullies.

I'd try kindergarden and see how he does. I'd withdraw him if he started showing signs of trauma. (I vomited convulsively each school morning. Don't send him if it's that bad!) Then try homeschool and offer social interaction in safe situations (where no one can beat him up in the locker room, playground, etc.) and ease into a classes at the public school on a limited basis as he's ready?

Do him a favor and teach him self-defence now. Maybe a martial arts class geared to kids? Children WILL attack what they view as different and if he can defend himself he'll fare better.

I learned a lot more about social skills in structured group therapy with a psychologist, where no one could ridicule or assault other members. Took a long time but my parents kept me in the group until I could function. I'm sure it was expensive for them. I hated it, but it was worth every penny and hated minute spent there.

Just my 2 cents.

rj

you should homeschool him.
thats something i would do but i would rather be homeschooled in middle school and high school.
maybe just put him in a regular school for awhile and if he dosent like it later you should homeschool him maybe high school year.

I think it's all kid specific. Some ASD kids do awesome in a school setting, some don't but seem to weather it okay. For others school starts to destroy them. For my son, it was killing him, and everyone agreed....all the way up through the chain of command in the board of ed.

We had a fantastic school who bent over backwards for us and were willing to do absolutely anything to make it work. They didn't follow any rules, they went strictly by what my sons needs were and they were awesome. I will always feel nothing but gratitude for the Admin at his school and his board of ed team.

However, none of that could make up for the fact that school is just too overstimulating for him and after the first hour of being there, he would fall asleep because his head hurt too much. They could only keep him on task 2-4 mins at a time.

He's now 10 and homeschooled and I still keep in touch with his Admin and they're shocked at the huge changes in him. He's happy, well adjusted, and socially he's doing better than ever before. What makes it work for us and that we're both very commited to the process. He knows he needs to do his work, and I need to be on top of making sure all of his needs are met. In the end, it's turning out to be a win=win situation.

Good luck in your decision