Autism and emotional depth?

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Hmmmm, tough question, and I´m sure we´re all different.

Even before I knew about AS, I recognized that my whole "emotional system" seems to be different from others. I´m not sure how "normal" this is- maybe we are all just different?

For instance, there are times when I suspect that I don´t have as many feelings as other people. When I first started directing shows, I had to read texts and interpret emotions from the texts. I began to realize that there are a lot of little emotions and even "subtext" going on, with the most simple of texts. I was unaware of many of these things; for instance, when I talk in real life, I know how to copy and "put on" the right tone of voice; I know what it should sound like and look like, even if I don´t FEEL the emotions when speaking...(maybe that´s why I had a knack for directing, because I could tell if something looked and sounded right). I notice though that my students couldn´t put on these various tones, and were basically unaware of them. The only way they could do these things successfully was by feeling the emotions required, and then they would naturally and automatically have the right body language and tone of voice, etc. So they do it backwards from me. When I watch movies, for instance, nowadays I am much more aware of the fact that there seem to be many emotions going on....sometimes, I don´t understand why people are so emotional in movies...where did that emotion come from, suddenly? I notice this to some extent in life too. In my case, I actually don´t believe that I´m not in tune with my emotions, I just think I tend to view the world differently, maybe not as emotion based, but more logic based.

I do notice that sometimes my logic has to come before the emotion. For instance, it could be that I am not really able to feel one of my emotions if I don´t understand, logically, what´s happened first. Don´t know if that makes sense...this happens mostly with unpredictable social situations of a high emotional content (from the other person); so what that means is, sometimes my emotions are delayed. I noticed this most acutely with 9/11. I saw, on news shows and other, the American public grieving and having strong feelings about 9/11, whereas I felt nothing...(though I knew intellectually it was not a good thing, I could understand and have empathy in theory). I was worried there was something wrong with me, for not feeling. I felt like I needed to understand what really happened, so my way of grieving was by making 9/11 my special interest. I was obsessed with studying it. My emotions never came though, because it´s still unclear what really happened there (long story).

Here´s another for instance: when I first started reading about AS, one of the books I read said that people with AS often can´t read and understand subtle emotional states in others, like suspicion. At the time, I thought that was odd because I never realized suspicion was an emotional state, with a particular face and body language to go with it. I thought suspicion was a state of mind; that one experienced suspicion in the head, as a thought process; that someone can be inwardly suspicious. For this reason, I think I may just have a different way of experiencing and interpreting emotion than some.

I do think I have emotional depth, though. I am not afraid of my emotions. I also take time by myself, to meditate and learn about myself as much as possible. For this reason, I think I have more self knowledge than many people do.

I am INCREDIBLY emotionally deep, i've experienced inredibly intense emotions from extatically happy (imagine if you've had a life of crap and suddenly you're walking through town on a sunny day with a beautiful girl who loves you....you get the most intense happy feeling) to the complete abyss of below, i have been judged and destroyed in ways that other humans have never experienced...put on a pedestal of ridicule crying for my mommy...

so yeah, i'm pretty damn deep, and the VERY REASON i am not empathic to most people is because they haven't experienced the depth of emotion i have...i empathise and sympathise with those who have had it hard, and especially with other autistic folk...

i'm not entirely sure how useful my post is, let me know ok?

<3 xanny x

I am glad to read that, i was starting to think that maby the whole Autism spectrum thing could be a wrong diagnosis for me since i have emotions at times - but just like you i also feel like Mr Data at other times.

People that look at me rarely think i feel anything until i laugh or say bad words to them (because i am angry at them). My face just doesnt show anything until i clearly want to express something, my supervisor at this "look-for-jobs" thing i have to attend, she says "if you did not tell me how you felt i would have never known. It doesnt show on you".

One of my neighbours dropped a piece of paper in my mailbox once and asked "You looked so sour when you walked past me yesterday, have i done something"? But i wasnt "sour" or angry with her at all (i didnt even notice that it was her that i passed and glanced at) - its just the way i look...

Anyway, over my 35 years in life, i have learned by observing others that bodylanguage and "making sounds" and looking at people is an effective way of communicating. Just today, someone were talking in the phone - loudly, i mean he was almost shouting. I cleared my throat - loudly, when he looked at me i looked at him back (with a wrinkled forhead) to make sure that he "got the bloody point". It worked, he reduced his shouting to a reasonable talking-level.

Now - how is it that i have learned to do communicate in this NT way, but this person have not learned to show proper respect for other people that want peace and quiet when they work?

Things like this is why i think that EQ/Empathy deficiencies are not exclusive to people with Autistim. Sure, the guy could have been a socio-/psychopath, but this sort of thing with shouting in mobilephones is so common among normal people. Maby one in 10 leave the room and show respect for other people. People just dont care about others.

Having a low EQ and just plain lacking common courtesy are very different things.

some Aspies are reversed in their empathy.

reference: http://www.sciencenews.org/view/generic ... f_empathy_

“You can have so much empathy that it’s painful for you, so you have to disengage,” Pavlova says. “Sometimes autistic people are not insensitive; they’re too sensitive.”

Not quite sure what my EQ is. But I know a lot of the time I find it difficult to identify what emotion I am feeling. IE it took me almost 20 years to decided that one emotion was feeling was anxiety ( and I'm still not 100% sure it is.) Add to that the emotions i feel tend to be rather strong. I don't often get angry but when i do, people can notice it from a mile away ( depending on if i show it or not, i can seethe(sp) really really well)

I'm pretty similar to biscuitpaws.

I react emotionally to a lot of esp injustice.

The storm which is my mind consists of emotions and thoughts at a percentege of45/55

I am very complex emotionally. that is the nature of the storm in my head.

If poeple want me try to explain my mind... ask and I will do my best to put it into words.

True, but they both overlap: EQ/Empathy doesnt just mean that you understand emotions, it is also the ability to be able to "put yourself in someone elses shoes" and understand things from their perspective.

idk if i can

its the same with me, as i dont know what emotion i show except when it is extreme, that is why i look for myself in others allot of the time...too bad they are sometimes wrong about me... as then i get even more confused..

This describes me too. At times I just watch things objectively, feeling no emotion at all but being scientifically interested in the emotions that others feel; and at times I feel emotion, and when something moves me, boy does it ever move me! It´s like one extreme or the other. For instance, I just sob when I watch the film "The Fountain". Even thinking about certain scenes one day later can make my eyes fill with tears. It´s weird...

But, most of the time, I seem to react quite "Spock-like" to things.

Really thought provoking question, Sora. Answers quite interesting, - particularly the breadth of experience described.

In the end, I do not know.

But it would seem to be one of those characteristics of broad spectrum, for both the AS and NT.

Like height, weight, color of skin, shoe size. There is great variation of what is "normal."

Speaking of normal, and the normal curve of statistics - from whence the term originates.

Even were the "normal curve" of emotion for AS and NT to be centered at different points, my guess - and it is only a guess - is that there would be considerable overlap in the two populations.

So we might have more in common, than not.


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I'm not sure if this means I'm emotionally "deep" or the exact opposite, but I am pretty scared of emotions because they can completely overwhelm me.

At times I can get so anxious or angry that I don't process much else at all. It engulfs me so completely that I have to do my utter best to try and keep it at bay. On the other hand, I don't experience that strong happiness or sadness emotions (or maybe I'm not as aware of them).

sounds very familiar in a way, but i have not felt like that in years.. but i used to get overwhelmed easily...these days i have problems feelings much at all.. in other words, when i was younger society was very cold compared to my emotional self.......these days i am cold and they are emotional..

i remember watching films when i was younger where at the end the "hero" would have saved the world and all that happy ending stuff, only to blow it all away on some girl he could not have without loosing it all... and i remember being so frustrated with such films as i found them to be stupid....these days i still find them stupid and non-logical.. but i have learned that life is not always as easy as i see it in my mind while watching the film...so i tend to ignore it and try to enjoy the film...

Same here.