"Look Me in the Eyes"- FANTASTIC book

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johnrobison
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06 May 2009, 10:46 pm

OK, I will chime in. I am John Robison, the author.

If you have questions I'll try and answer. I am not very active here but I did see this thread.

I'm also on Facebook here: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id= ... 6&ref=name
I'm on blogger at http://jerobison.blogspot.com
And as someone pointed out, I have a blog on Psychology Today.


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gbollard
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06 May 2009, 11:53 pm

Hi John,

Just wondering - how do you feel about Facebook friends/followers? I'm asking this so that I (and others here) don't try to become friends and get rejected.


Re: My thoughts on the book.
It was a pretty fascinating book but like everything else, the condition varies a lot from one person to another. That's probably the reason that a lot of people here claim to "not identify". I certainly identified with some bits and not others. It's a difficult book to get into when you're not that into the subject. I was never a fan of Kiss and I'm not mechanically minded at all. I do software, usually not hardware.

While I do think that you had a few lucky breaks, I feel that one of the major messages of the book was to "pursue your special interests". John didn't accidentally do well - he did well because he was following his interests. The change of career right at the end of the book was a bit of a surprise because although you'd mentioned cars a bit throughout, I didn't pick up on it as a special interest - re-reading it though, it's obvious when you know what to look for.

I can also identify with the problems of being an aspie in management. It's difficult to manage people who don't have the same levels of interest (and motivation) that you do. BTW: There's some fascinating articles on the subject on Malcolm Johnson's blog (http://www.aspergermanagement.com/).



johnrobison
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07 May 2009, 7:08 am

I'm glad you asked about facebook friends. I accept any friend requests under the assumption that people act in good faith. If someone turned out to be totally obnoxious or spammed me I could toss them but that really has not happened.

There are two kinds of facebook pages you can have as an author. The first is a public figure page, where people become fans. The benefit of that kind of page is that you don't have to ask to be a fan, and I can send messages to all my fans with one action. So, for example, I am speaking at Google tomorrow in Boulder Colorado. I can send a notice to every fan that I'm doing that, and if some are near Boulder, they may decide to stop by

Here's mine: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id= ... 618?ref=mf

The second type of page is a regular one, where people have to send a friend request and be accepted. Like I said, I normally accept anyone, so you don't have to fear rejection but I understand how some might, without that advance knowledge. The benefit of that page is that people can write me directly, and I can write back. I can't really engage in dialogue on the fan page, as you will see.

This is my regular page
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id= ... 6&ref=name

I would suggest hooking up to both as they act slightly differently.

The blog is the same. You have to register with blogger to leave comments, but anyone can do that. I operate on the principle that people are generally nice, as that's been my experience doing this for 2 years now.

And you are right that my success is due in large part to following my special interests, which have always been cars (mechanical things) and electronics/music.


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BlueMike
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10 Aug 2009, 1:49 am

Thanks for writing this book John. For me, it was a revelation. I just read it last month and it has helped me a lot in accepting who I am. My family of origin all have Aspergian traits, and my son has been diagnosed.

For me it was the YMCA leader's club that saved me. Otherwise I too might have come to a bad end.

Thanks!



SabbraCadabra
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10 Aug 2009, 1:05 pm

Have not read it, but I'd like to. Read a really good article about videogame history that mentioned John and his book...can't remember where the heck I read it, and I can't seem to find it now, though =/


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nettiespaghetti
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10 Aug 2009, 5:56 pm

I just went on amazon to preview it, I'll have to add it to my wishlist!


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10 Aug 2009, 9:41 pm

My mum went out and bought it and then said "After looking at that, I dont think you are really that aspie" to me after reading it.

I said to her "well, Im a girl, Im not going to necessarily like cars and machinery, am I?" my interests are definitely different to John Robison's, but I related to a lot of the stuff he wrote about his social encounters, and some parts of the book made me laugh as it was all too familiar...


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Acacia
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10 Aug 2009, 10:09 pm

This book was a "right place, right time" moment for me.
At the end of last year, I just recently heard of Asperger's Syndrome, and barely understood Autism. But I was banging my head against a wall trying to figure out why I experienced the problems that I did. I was at a big box store one evening, passing by their book section, and just so happened to see the cover of this book. The title, and image of a little boy clenching his eyes shut resonated with me. It made me reflect on my childhood, which was peppered with the phrase "look me in the eye." I picked up the book and flipped through it. And I was floored.

I sought it out at the library the next day, and read the whole thing in about a week. It was just what I needed in terms of where I was at in understanding myself, and the kinds of things I needed to hear regarding AS and what it means in life.

So on the whole, yes I loved the book.
However, I do agree with some of the other comments here that parts of the book come off as patronizing, or may lead people to believe things about AS that are not true for everyone. One has to take sections of the book with several grains of salt. This was one guy's life. Some may identify with him, as I did, but others may think that the role AS played in his life holds true in general, and this would be a mistake. AS ranges so much in severity and how it manifests. Some AS people go on to have interesting, successful lives and write books about it. Others are agoraphobic, unemployable, and live with their parents until they're 50.

It's a great book; just one that has to be read with intelligent objectivity.


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10 Aug 2009, 10:25 pm

I saw him at Powells Books almost a year ago and it bothered me when he said aspies are good with math and good with machinery and I wanted to tell him that is not true for all aspies and not all of them are logical as he is. I should have spoken up but I didn't. I don't remember if he said the same in the book though. I remember he said someone told him lot of aspies are logical thinkers. I think it was a doctor that told him that. My husband says I'm a logic thinker but I am not logic the way John is. His is more in machinery and electronics.



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28 Aug 2009, 12:14 am

I just finished reading this book; I really enjoyed it, good summer reading. I found parts of it quite funny! John Elder is a different "type" from me, but I think he has an interesting life. I liked the part where he explained that he spent much of his life adapting on account of a syndrome that he didn't even know he had- (that explains how I feel, too)!


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paddy26
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28 Aug 2009, 1:52 pm

My dad told me about this book a few months ago, I'm going to read it soon as I'm interested in guitars as well.



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15 Sep 2009, 9:58 pm

Just finished reading it and could relate to pretty much most of it especially the early attempts at making friends, hanging out with musicians and strangely the family life. I think the logic vs small talk and becoming normal chapters was brilliant as well and very insightful. Defiantly the best book I've read relating aspergers so far that didn't feel an manual.



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16 Sep 2009, 2:27 pm

paddy26 wrote:
I think the logic vs small talk and becoming normal chapters was brilliant as well and very insightful.


I agree, I especially liked the chapter about logic versus small talk.

I thought his pranks were quite funny as well.


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SplinterStar
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16 Sep 2009, 2:53 pm

Geez, after reading all this fanfare I think I'll read the book. It certainly seems worth buying...



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16 Sep 2009, 3:44 pm

I would recommend the book as well. It is a nice quick read.

I read Tim Page's book as well this weekend and sadly, it wasn't nearly as good as LMITE.

Tim's book (Parallel Play: Growing Up With Undiagnosed Asperger's) was well written, but just not as relatable as John's. Maybe it was the upbringing. My upbringing is much more in line with John's, so I related much more to his book and stories.



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17 Sep 2009, 10:35 am

I liked this book for the most part. I bought it, I read it, I liked it. It was especially refreshing to read the words of a "regular guy". hear the voice and see the image of John being just John. I admire his honesty above all, and his humility. He doesn't try to pass himself off as an authority on Asperger's or an intellectual elitist.

However, one thing, or section of the book, really bugs me to no end and I just can't reconcile it to the overall honesty of his story. It's the part where he is working for the toy company and he and his co-workers are instructed to clean up their work area because a group of executives will be coming in for a tour and inspection.

John gets the idea to play a practical joke.Good, I like practical jokes. He pulverizes some formica until it becomes a fine powder and then leaves a line of it there, inconspicuously conspicuous, along with a rolled up dollar bill.

The next day, when John and his co-workers return to work the line of formica and the dollar bill are gone. They set up a camera and John lays out another line of formica. They find out it's one of the executives, sneaking in at night and snorting the formica. This goes on for several days/nights running and it's on film. Then they black mail the executive.

This is where I get really annoyed. After snorting the formica the first time, any coke head is going to know it's not real coke. He's not going to get high and he's not going to come back night after night and snort fake cocaine. Also, the formica particles would cause serious problems to his respiratory system.

Am I the only one who read the book and was put off by this section? I wish John would come back and explain this, because except for this huge stumbling block, it was a really great book. I would really like to know how someone could snort formica once and then come back night after night for more. How could this could be possible?