What Are Your Coping Strategies?

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Actually this reminds me of about a year ago when I had to go to a conference. I was very uncomfortable there and spent most of it just thinking about stroking my (long dead) rabbit. He was just lying next to my leg and I would stroke him in my mind, over and over again. He died when I was 14 - am 31 now, so obviously its so far ago, but it was the one thing that kept me (relatively) sane during that time.

My coping strategies are sticking with the person I'm most comfortable with. Or fiddling with something to release the tension.
I don't usually need to "escape" but I do prefer to spend time alone before hand to plan what I'm going to say rather than just jump into the interactions as that just makes me more quiet than usual.

Coping strategies...hmmmm...

I'm lucky to live in a community in Alaska that is off the road system, so it's pretty easy to just head out literally down a trail, into the mountains, along the river, etc.

Secluding myself in any available "cave" also works for short periods--"hide" in my office or at home.

As far as more productive/helpful coping strategies...

I've learned to frequently go on "blind faith" about some things, do the exact opposite of what I really want to do in a given social situation, etc. About 1 time in 20 it doesn't work since I'm going by mental scripts of what NTs would do/say instead of actually picking up on whatever weird telepathies they seem to have guiding their social interactions. But, for the most part, because so many NTs adhere to very predictable social patterns/conversations/behaviors/etc, just "shooting into the dark" works quite well.

One of the strategies that helps me to cope during the day, that is to say calms me down and re-energizes me, is periodically to lie down on the floor in a supine position with eyes closed, or with eyes just gazing up at the ceiling.

Eating. Or exercising. But i prefer the former.

it was buying fire agates on ebay, then it was pretending i was in a band when i walked, now however i cant buy anymore fire agates because it is finished. the collection is over, and now they need to be made into something. belt buckle, bracelet anything like that. now that im moving out i'll probably go back to being in the band again

Coping Strategies For Meltdowns:

The BEST one I have is to hide under my weighted blanket and listen to my ipod.

I have a little schedule of things to do when I'm melting. I'm supposed to pick one body thing (take a run), one sensory thing (joint compressions), and one brain thing (read a book). (For Example).

Of course, it's best to avoid the meltdowns when we can, yes?

Meltdown Avoidance Strategies

KNOW MY LIMITS.

ACCEPT MY LIMITS.

DON'T TEST MY LIMITS.

Which means, in other words, to know what I can and can't handle in terms of sensory and social stimulation, know what winds me up and upsets me and what invigorates me, and don't mess with it. Don't attempt to socialize with certain groups. Don't make too much eye contact. Don't go to parties. Script out conversations before I have them. Stick with my friends. Etc.

When I write in my diary I gain more insight into social situations. Also, I sometimes imagine what a person I know would say about a particular situation if I were to ask them.

I definitely have tons of "strategies" I use to appear normal and interested in others. One I use all the time is throwing the word "really?" out a lot. As an example, if I'm talking to someone about typical small talk topics (which I can't for the life of me be interested in) and they say "blah blah blah", i'll just respond with "really? blah blah blah?". This usually moves things along and relieves me of having to rack my mind to think of something relevant to say.

Another one I use at parties a lot is to steer people into doing things that are social but don't involve having to talk much. Drinking games (beer pong/flip cup), going to take a shot, etc. Doing this keeps me engaged with others at least.

I don't think that's a good escape route... it might just make you seem more odd if you always play with the kids and don't interact with the rest of the gatherers. Snooping around people's bookcases is not a great idea either if they're not aware of it.

I can usually do fine socially at an evening/party/gathering, as long as I've had enough time being on my own in a quiet place before the occasion. You can try playing out and imagining some situations you might encounter during the occasion. Do this right before you go there; it will make you mentally prepared and thus you will feel more comfortable. Knowing what the place looks like is an added bonus.

Ahaha, I do the same. Except for the bookcases. When I'm forced to be in a situation like such, I need to have time to prepare myself. 11th surprise birthday party = unpleasant, put mildly. Anecdotes aside, before the event I'll plan out (physically map out on my handy-dandy whiteboard ) exactly what will be expected of me; be it meeting strange adults and going off with the other children (a.k.a finding a corner of the house to hide in), full participation in the event, or whatever. I make sure I know what is pushing my limits, like others have said, and find a few excuses for escape routes- the most common one is the bathroom (where I can stay for the entire time ), or a 'breath of fresh air'. One of the most important things- I'm sure to stay far away if anyone's discussing even a household decorative object, as no one likes a 13-year old rambling on and on about art.

As for conversation; can't say I've fully mastered that yet. When I am forced to talk, I'll mostly stare at the ground; people call it shyness, but when talking to people I have a really hard time being physically aware of where my hands and feet- I don't know if other Aspies share this problem? What I usually do is try and pick up on something they've mentioned that they're interested in. It's hard a lot of times, and sometimes I'll have to make some excuse and cut out of there as fast as I can before I start shaking, but once they start talking inside my mind I breathe a huge sigh of relief as I've learned all that's required of me from then on is the periodical nod and "mhm, interesting, go on." Basically everything I've learned comes from watching NTs intensely, along with my parents' patent-brand method of 'training'- the former incredibly more useful.

Seriously, believe it or not, playing with people´s kids seems to work...(though it only works if you´re in a group of people, I wouldn´t try it if I were with only 1 adult). I do it mostly at family gatherings, but I´ve done it at other places too. Most people are thrilled to have someone take the kids off their hands for awhile. I interact much better with kids; in fact, I usually feel pretty comfortable with them, and they seem to like me. If the kid really likes me, then the parent seems to like me too. If you think of it this way: to many parents, their kid is their special interest. So if you can bond with the kid, you can often bond with the parent...okay, maybe superficially, but it works.

About the bookcase thing, I can´t really help that. I know that sounds lame...but it´s almost like a compulsion. If I walk into a living room and there are a bunch of books in the bookcase there, I HAVE to see what´s in there. Yep, I tend to be interested in some objects. But actually, that´s also my way of knowing a bit about my host or hostess. I can "pick up" a lot more about that person when I know what kinds of books they read. Books can really tell you a lot about a person. And to start a conversation, I might ask them about a book or a dvd that they have, so it helps that too.

I'd be telling a really big lie if I said I had a coping strategy that works, but there is one thing I've noticed.

Contrary to what a lot of people around here seem to think, a lot of those normal people out there do have interests besides just social interactions. Bookstores, hiking trails, art galleries, science websites, and the history channel aren't there only for aspies or they wouldn't exist.

A lot of people do woodworking, and a lot of people have gardens. A lot of people have traveled to places I'd be interested in.

Very often I can find somebody who's interested in something I'm at least mildly interested in, so then I at least have a topic I can talk to them about. I try to avoid talking too much and focus on listening, asking questions, and learning something.

It doesn't make me somebody they're thrilled to know, but it makes things a lot more comfortable for me.

From the age of 18 I use to hang out with a bunch of people, leading to many social situations at almost every weekend. My friend as well as enemy during these years has been alcohol.

I seriously think that alcohol is the 'social cure' for aspies (at least, that is the case for me). After a couple of beers I lose all my shyness, start to talk to people without getting any stressed feelings and sometimes even start to talk with people not familiar to me. I become more or less funny and am appreciated by the people around me.

Unfortunately, my lack of inhinbitions is a big problem, and this is where the alcohol will become an enemy instead of a friend. In many occasions I drank way too much, which made me more and more impulsive and caused me to act like a total idiot. This made me to become a very annoying person, instead of a funny guy.

Now I stopped the drinking and consequently I stopped seeing those people. Without alcohol I would not know how to cope with the feelings of stress. The simple strategy of going outside to smoke a cigarette is not helping me out enough. But more important, I don't even like social situtions anymore. I've decided to rather be a person who is happy on his own, than to be a person who pretends to be happy with seeing a lot of friends (just because of the alc.).

So my new coping strtegy: avoid as much as possible.

i do not cope. i refuse to cope. i just be the way i am until i am prevented from being that way.
i am not prevented from being the way i am at the moment, so i do not need to "cope"

I was exactly like that between age 18-21. Alcohol was my social cure, I had too much and just acted in ways I regret now.
Now I'm 25 and I somehow, over the last few years, grew stronger and learned to relax without alchohol. I've worked a lot with my self image and I'm able to mentally create a mood similar to being on anti-anxiety medication.