Is self-harming any more prevalent in the AS community?

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This is the reason I want so badly to be diagnosed with AS. I need there to be a reason I used to hurt myself so much. I would get so upset (for no reason sometimes) and bite the crap out of my hands. Sometimes I would accidently bite them so hard, they would bleed. I would be so embarassed when people would ask me about the marks and calusses that built up. I would also head bang, punch myself, strangle myself until I saw colors. I tried so hard to stop but I would get so frustrated. The only thing I never did was cut myself, but I thought about it. I don't like blood though. I'm so glad I'm not alone.

When in my early teens, I used to deal with emotional pain by punching myself underneath the diaphragm, where you have a huge nerve nexus.

I learned to quit doing that, as doing something to yourself that causes you to curl up on the floor in pain is not a safe behaviour.

Geez, why is my answer on these polls always the opposite of everyone else's? It's like I have internet poll ODD or something lolz

Anyway, I chose the fifth option. Although I don't really get this with anything else, I am *extremely sensitive* to pain. I've had bruises before that have caused me to scream from how much they've hurt. Just regular ones. I not sensitive to any lights or sounds or anything of that sort, just pain. So to answer your question, no, I've never thought of self-harming myself. Plus I wouldn't want to leave any permanent scars on myself either.

It's not that easy to just stop; it's painfully difficult once it's become a habit.

I haven't hurt myself for a while; when I did, it was due to:
Depression/anxiety
Meltdowns
Sensory overload

Amazing! 77% so far. I would have guessed it would be about that high. So much of self injurious behavior gets called "borderline personality" when it is truly autistic. Such gender bias against women!

I went through a period of self harm, two periods actually. I stopped then started again & now I've managed to stop again.
I did this because I was depressed & couldn't talk to anyone about it. I was frustrated with how I was failing in life. Now that I think about it it sounds really stupid but at the time, it was all that I could do.

I haven't cut in a little over 2 and a half years, but I'm still addicted to it and want to do it.

I love you people, you make my days easier to cope with atm...as much as I want to understand AS more in general, I truly want to understand the people not just the diagnosis.

You are all so different and yet you all share a commonality, and whereas some traits are non-existent in some...many are almost a universal to some degree or another.

I will say though, as much as I want to run away from my love...you are all making that so much harder to do.

The more I understand, the more I just want to be there with him and protect him...from himself and from the world that frustrates him and makes him overwhelmed.

...but I am still afraid I am doing that at the cost of losing sight of myself.

As for the cutting and self-harm, he did that when we met...he was impressionable enough that mere suggestion from someone he was "e-dating" made him delve into the preoccupation.

When I met him I couldn't understand it, it seemed such a foreign concept to me...but I still cared enough to try and help him break that habit and he did for several years.

Recently, he was unhappy with being with me and started up another "e-flirtation"...it broke my heart, yet I "understood" to some degree too.

He wants some semblance of normal, but he isn't normal...whatever normal actually is.

...and being with me just makes him feel more "abnormal", because of our age diff.

So here was a 23 year old who gave him the time of day and told him she was "divorcing", he threw me aside in less than one phone conversation with her.

...and the minute he was "available", she was "working" on her marriage again.

Now I get the shell/husk to deal with again, and for him his broken heart...makes mine invisible.

...but the cutting started again, he hadn't done that in the three years we have been together.

I used to be able to help him cope, be there for him when he was that upset or frustrated...now I can't, there is a wall.

Part of me wants to send him home to his mom, because he can't live alone...but that's where it all started, how do you send someone you care for back to point A?

...but now I am overwhelmed too, how do I stay in love with someone who can hurt me like I barely exist.

Even though I really do think AS is a huge reason for the things he does, I honestly believe it removes that element of forethought...I think he doesn't understand his own actions til they are past tense and the ramifications start to unfold.

Then he is sorry.

God I wish there were some easy answers for me.

...but thank you all for sharing, it does help.

I wouldnt say self-harm but i used to cut myself but found it fun more then anything this was when I was 15? I moved on very quickly. Since then I have taken part in alot of "risk-taking" activities Rock climbing, BMX Dirt jumping its an endless list and have broken almost every bone (seriously!) it wasnt the adrenalin i was looking for i just accepted it as the cost of doing business. Its something ive been working hard to curb - and I broke my back .

Im finding that out the hard way too its great being able to understand myself ultimatly thats the goal here, but if we can lend a helping hand to others to understand - more power to you for trying!




Im in the same boat but reversed - dont want to hurt her its much easier said then done.

I read though your post and am trying to understand it from being in both shoes. As your aware were all different in our own unique ways so what im going to suggest is just that a suggestion do/dont do what you like.

Its sad but coming from 1st hand you have to be number one, that dosnt mean they arnt important but you cant prop them up if you need support - find an outlet at the very least, working out at the gym, running anything thats positive for yourself.

Set some ground rules and be open and honest, let him know you were hurt by the e-flirtation while you were still in a relationship with him. but talk it out! <- that is important

Be open that while you dont want want him to move back in with his mum, it may be the best option. I dont know the individual and understand we all have different care levels if he can work on his behavior this may be the motivator.

That said, i wish you the best of luck you seam to have the right attitude


I know this one....every 2nd day

just the usual smacking my head or punching walls, I don't cut

Yet another thing that I didn't know about AS. When I get angry with myself, I occasionally hit myself, usually in the head. I once broke a pair of glasses that way. I can give myself some pretty good shots, but, with my high tolerance for pain (not related to AS), they bother me.

This is definitely a function of my environment. I've kept the stress down, so it has become far less frequent.

lol.

and yes, OP I have done that. hitting and biting myself...