Why do neurotypicals share bad news, expecting us to calmly

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You guys are hilarious with this"how to make yourself cry" discussion.

^ yes. I rarely cry except if it is about me, and in a meltdown.

I barely react to others' emotional expressions - although I do get VERY distressed if my son or ex-partner start getting angry or upset. I panic out of confusion and a sense of feeling "pressured". I react emotionally to slight alterations in my routine, my placement of things, my way of doing things. Typical ASD under-reaction to others and over-reaction to change and sensory things.

I once got yelled at because I wouldn't stop crying when the teacher was making me go back into class where all the bullies were. I was told I was acting childish. Hello, I AM a child.

I wasn't upset when my parents got divorced, and then three full years later I cried for two days straight.

Have a care. He who gloats will be gloated over. Schadenfreude is tempting but it has a dark side.

ruveyn

Tribal instinct, a way to test if you can be counted on when the real s**t hits the fan. If you react emotionally, you will in such a situation be more concerned with yourself/be blinded by emotion, than be of rational use to 'the greater good' (the safety of the tribe).

Raw onions would help immensely! (just kidding)

I don't fake the actual tears; I fake the response by sitting my brain down and thinking of something which makes me sad. Or, if was to myself, I would sit down and really pore over the thing that I thought should make me sad, and dwell on the saddest parts and try to magnify it. The first technique works better than the second.

people never bother to tell me about things they consider to be "serious".

i can not be bothered to try to understand the gravity of what they are saying, and they know it, so they never tell me things if they are feeling a sense of "graveness".

with the 911 thing, i was concerned mainly about the towers. i saw them as "warriors" trying to withstand the forces of extreme heat and stress, but who succumbed.
it was an epic tale of 2 110 storey building's fight for survival.

when they came down, it was live on my TV and i was fixated with the demolition sequence. i was surprised at the neatness of the collapse.
anyway, i never really noticed the little wiggly things that were falling out of the building (people jumping to their death), until much later when it was pointed out.

that part (the "human catastrophe") does not interest me much, but the fact that the buildings came down was fascinating.

the most annoying thing about the 911 episode, was that the next release of "flight simulator" had the towers removed from the new york skyline !
i liked to fly around new york with these towers in my view, but with the new flight sim release...they were gone!!. damned terrorists!

when the concorde crashed, i was very uneasy about seeing such a beautiful plane on fire. i had no concept of the people inside.

so i am the opposite to you in that i perceive only irrelevant and immature aspects of otherwise important things, and you see very keenly, the slightest reason for sadness of an emotional nature.

i do not feel "sad" much. i feel silly most of the time and i am happy feeling silly.
it is not "stupid" silly, it is "who cares anyway" silly.

Why did Americans act as if 9-11 was the most awful thing ever to happen in any country ever??? About 3000 people died in the 9-11 attacks... that's it.. 3000. The 2004 Asian Tsunami killed about 225,000 people. I'd have to say 9/11 was nothing compared to that tsunami. I too was surprised at the neatness of the collapse... it appeared to be a controlled demolition.. and the government was doing everything they could to prevent an independent investigation into these so-called "attacks" but hey, what do I know?

But anyway.. back to the main topic....

In order for me to react emotionally to something.. it has to happen to someone close to me.. who is not related to me. Like my girlfriend.. or a close friend.... I would be an emotional basket case....

but if something happened to someone related to me... I wouldn't even shed a tear... I'm not sure why. I know NTs bond with their parents, grandparents, etc.. and just become soooo distraught if one of them were to be hospitalized... and just have to be with them on Thanksgiving or Christmas or it would be the end of the world... I'd rather be alone or at work on Christmas than hear that awful Christmas music... or have to be with relatives on that day.. yuck!

I never felt sad over the 9/11 attacks either. It mostly felt a mixture of intrigue and anger. I was most upset by the fact that the attacks were carried out by deluded religious extremists.

To further the left turn this thread took, do non-spectrum people generally feel sadness at thought of those losing their lives? I was more saddened by the event because at that point I knew there would be massive human rights abuses and injustices for years. I was concerned about the future, not the past.

I've done this, too.

I also cry when I'm angry. Something about adrenaline seems to turn on the waterworks. It's very annoying and really upsets the people around me.

On the other hand, a former coworker I knew and liked died recently from suicide. I was sad about it, but not nearly as torn up as the others around me seemed to be. It seemed like they were reacting all out of proportion. It's not like his death was completely surprising, since we all knew he had been having mental health issues for some time.

Regards,

Patricia

Oh I so know what you mean. The many times I've been ostracised for not thinking about the death of the people involved in a disaster. It seems that if you don't "Feel their pain", then there's something wrong with you.

There's a lot more I want to say.

the way i see it is that its better to not care about all these disasters and deaths if you would then there is no time left to even sleep.
i like to believe people also fake these feelings of being shocked by events on the news so that others wont call them out on their not caring.

you know when something happens in your own country the news will go crazy and spend tons of time on this one thing, i saw this with my parents they were all emotional and stuff infront of the tv over this one thing and when something happens in a country elsewhere they dont do these things at all and just zap to a different channel is it supposed to be any different when it happens in your own country ? if you dont know these ppl at all.