The rise of fascism on WP-excessively dominant posters

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auntblabby
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22 Apr 2011, 4:20 am

i wonder what percentage of bullies are really overcompensating high-functioning aspies?



Chamomile
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22 Apr 2011, 4:37 am

wblastyn wrote:
I feel like an outsider here and in my AS support group. Hardly anyone responses to my posts here, and hardly anyone speaks to me there, respectively. They all speak to each other though. No idea what I'm doing wrong. :(


I'm sorry, did you say something? I was reading another post.



auntblabby
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22 Apr 2011, 5:03 am

wblastyn wrote:
I feel like an outsider here and in my AS support group. Hardly anyone responses to my posts here, and hardly anyone speaks to me there, respectively. They all speak to each other though. No idea what I'm doing wrong. :(


Hiya :)
give me a chance, won't you?
i guarantee that if you post a hot-button topic or comment, you WILL get pointed responses! not a good habit to get into, IMHO. i know sorta where you're comin' from, i am "invisible" also but get noticed for all the wrong reasons, the lions' share of the time.



chinatown
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22 Apr 2011, 5:29 am

This forum is exceptional in that you're exposed to a spectrum of views. Real life and most NT forums are so homogenous there isn't much room for intelligent conversation. (Some here do force their views on others quite unintelligently, but it's usually about the PPR issues that are flammable in real life too, like gender equality and religion.)

But it's like real life in that there appears to be drama, but no one will explain to me why :lol:


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wblastyn
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22 Apr 2011, 5:30 am

Chamomile wrote:
wblastyn wrote:
I feel like an outsider here and in my AS support group. Hardly anyone responses to my posts here, and hardly anyone speaks to me there, respectively. They all speak to each other though. No idea what I'm doing wrong. :(


I'm sorry, did you say something? I was reading another post.

I assume the OP is referring to people like this? :roll:



ediself
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22 Apr 2011, 5:48 am

wblastyn wrote:
Chamomile wrote:
wblastyn wrote:
I feel like an outsider here and in my AS support group. Hardly anyone responses to my posts here, and hardly anyone speaks to me there, respectively. They all speak to each other though. No idea what I'm doing wrong. :(


I'm sorry, did you say something? I was reading another post.

I assume the OP is referring to people like this? :roll:

No, this was obviously a joke.



wavefreak58
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22 Apr 2011, 6:05 am

wblastyn wrote:
Chamomile wrote:
wblastyn wrote:
I feel like an outsider here and in my AS support group. Hardly anyone responses to my posts here, and hardly anyone speaks to me there, respectively. They all speak to each other though. No idea what I'm doing wrong. :(


I'm sorry, did you say something? I was reading another post.

I assume the OP is referring to people like this? :roll:


Seeing as your complaint was for lack of response, how is the fact that Chamomile responded to you consistent with your compliant?

I sense facetiousness.


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Surfman
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22 Apr 2011, 4:14 pm

I suppose being a mild form of autism, we are part NT, and hard wired to cliques, group think and speak, collective consciousness and the formation of a group values system, the spawn of a group entity.

In time, these online forum collective change as people begin and end, some forums get very popular, or some crash and burn and upper positions become filled by those were were less dominant previously.

cie la vie



Verdandi
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22 Apr 2011, 4:30 pm

Surfman wrote:
I suppose being a mild form of autism, we are part NT


No.

Also, you probably should back up a bit and get some perspective. You need to stop and differentiate between "someone disagreed with me" and "someone attacked me." You seem to be reacting to disagreement as if it is a coordinated attack upon your character and that reaction makes no sense. You also seem to feel that it is fine for you to be "honest" to the point if offense to other people, but your posts show pretty strong, negative reactions to people giving you their opinions of what you wrote. In other words, I have the impression that you are okay with offering your honest opinions, but you don't seem very receptive to hearing others' honest opinions about your actions.

This is my honest appraisal of how things have happened both of your threads.

Also, no one should advocate for any kind of violence. I certainly don't agree with that.



Lene
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22 Apr 2011, 4:40 pm

Surfman, I really think you're taking this whole site too personally

Look, as long as you aren't rude or start personal attacks, the same people who disagree with you on one thread may turn out to be your staunch supporters in another. We all have individual opinions and beliefs and sometimes they clash. It's no big deal. As others have written, a rejection of one idea is not a rejection of you as a whole person, or at least it shouldn't be between intelligent people.

Feel free to disagree :P



wblastyn
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22 Apr 2011, 4:46 pm

ediself wrote:
No, this was obviously a joke.


wavefreak58 wrote:
Seeing as your complaint was for lack of response, how is the fact that Chamomile responded to you consistent with your compliant?

I sense facetiousness.

You're on a website for people with AS...

Internet + AS + joke = misunderstanding.



ediself
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22 Apr 2011, 5:32 pm

If I use sarcasm now , I'm doomed. Oh my, what to do, what to do?



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22 Apr 2011, 7:32 pm

Verdandi wrote:
Also, you probably should back up a bit and get some perspective. You need to stop and differentiate between "someone disagreed with me" and "someone attacked me." You seem to be reacting to disagreement as if it is a coordinated attack upon your character and that reaction makes no sense.

This.


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anbuend
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22 Apr 2011, 11:18 pm

Disclaimer: I said I would try to be sure to say things in a way where it's clear I'm not attacking him. And I meant that. I'm not good at figuring out how to tell when my words look hostile and when they don't, so I'm just saying up front: I'm not trying to attack anyone (not even the person who really did attack him), I have no ill will towards anyone here at all, and nothing I say here is intended to be mean to anyone. I don't hate anyone, and am not even angry at anyone, just observing a situation.

At this point someone did say something that crossed the line into attack (the attack in question was... well one person who was not attacking was saying they hoped all these bad things wouldn't happen to him, and someone else basically said "Actually I hope those things do happen to him.")

Then some of the people who he had mistaken for attacking him actually stood up for him (which I don't think they'd do if they'd been attacking all along). I would have done so too if I hadn't promised to stay out of that thread. But interestingly, when the one person attacked him, he still said it was "ganging up". I don't know how one person can gang up on someone. If people were really attacking him, they wouldn't be saying things like ":( Too harsh.", "I think this is a bit harsh. Though I don't agree with Surfman about telling strangers that they might have AS, I don't have any ill will toward him at all.", "Like I said, I hope [the things the other person wished on him] doesn't happen to him", and (in response to someone saying it was too harsh), "Ditto to this." Why would all these people be sticking up for him if they were really attacking him or ganging up on him? It just doesn't make sense to me.

At any rate... the reason all these people have stuck up for him is that none of them were attacking him in the first place with their disagreement. If they were attacking him, they would have jumped in and it would have gotten really ugly. They were merely honestly disagreeing, and they know the difference between disagreement and a personal attack, so they obviously were nonplussed by the genuine personal attacks the moment those attacks crept in.

The only person unable to differentiate disagreement from attack (and for that matter, differentiating many people happening to agree with each other for groupthink) is unfortunately the target of the attack himself. :( I do know what it feels like though, to have views that are unpopular. It can be highly stressful even if you're aware nobody's actually attacking you. And it's easy to take that stress and assume it's there because people are attacking you, even if they aren't. Sometimes a lot of people happen to agree on something, and it's not being "part NT", it's not being a clique, it's not groupthink, it's just... an opinion that happens to be popular.

Having an unpopular opinion can feel like swimming against the tide. My opinions on disability are fairly rare, and I know what it feels like to swim against that tide. But other people have a total right to disagree with me on that (and on most issues) without being called bullies, cliques, groupthinkers, attackers, or whatever. And if I'm not up for the consequences of voicing my opinions (as in, the stress, watching people disagree with me, including possibly from viewpoints I find appalling, etc.) then I don't, not usually anyway. It's not that I think I'm responsible for other people disagreeing or something (and I'm not suggesting that he's responsible for other people disagreeing), it's just that when I say a particular thing that's unpopular, disagreement is gong to happen, and that's a fact of life. If I don't want to deal with the disagreement then I'd better not say it around people who disagree. Because they have as much right to their opinion, and as much right to voice their opinion, as I have to have and voice my own opinions. If I don't feel like dealing with it, I either don't say anything or find something else to talk about.

But I try really, really hard not to react to those other opinions as if they are attacks. Among other things, one of the really dangerous consequences of taking something like that as an attack, is it's easy to attack "back", feeling as if you are defending yourself. ("Back" in quotes because you weren't really attacked in the first place.) And once you attack other people for what you think are attacks on you, that way lies chaos.

In short, I think I understand why this is all happening, and I can't say I've never done anything similar myself, but I know from experience that it's a really bad idea to go down that road.

I hope what I've said doesn't make it worse, but it seems like it needed to be said. I don't think anyone, including myself, is immune from the mistakes that have been made here. But I do think it's a good idea to really watch oneself and try not to do these things. To try not to see the results of voicing an unpopular opinion on a board full of really straightforward people as an attack, even if you feel battered and worn out from it. Feelings don't necessarily convey reality, and I've found that if I don't relentlessly watch myself then I'm going to hurt other people while thinking I'm only defending myself. And after that, it just stirs up more anger against me, and so on and so forth. So please don't think I'm saying I'm above any of this, it's my long experience with it that makes me say what I'm saying.


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League_Girl
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22 Apr 2011, 11:27 pm

I usually don't read your posts but I thought it was very well written and I agree. I think it's his strong opinion so anyone who disagrees, he feels attacked. I know that's everyone though because lot of people feel that way except it happens in religion and only but with ASDs, it's with anything.



wavefreak58
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23 Apr 2011, 7:43 am

wblastyn wrote:
ediself wrote:
No, this was obviously a joke.


wavefreak58 wrote:
Seeing as your complaint was for lack of response, how is the fact that Chamomile responded to you consistent with your compliant?

I sense facetiousness.

You're on a website for people with AS...

Internet + AS + joke = misunderstanding.


That too ... 8)


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