Surf Rider wrote:
I think that an equally important question is, "Are other people okay with you having Asperger's?" And as a general answer, I would respond that no, they aren't okay with it, which is why it's called a disorder.
One thing that is true is that autism does negatively affect the people around the autistic and who rely on the autistic, even if the autistic individual is happy with their autism. I give my dad (whom I suspect has Asperger's) as an example. He's a good person generally, but in many ways he's a terrible husband to my mom because he can't respond to my mom's emotional needs. My mom usually has to get angry with him and throw a fit to get him to respond to her, because if she didn't throw a fit, he would just sit there like a log watching liberal television programs and not respond to her at all. Sometimes I'll say something to him and he doesn't even acknowledge me, and sometimes he seems completely mentally "checked out." In spite of being an accountant, he had many employment problems while I was growing up (how can you be unemployed as an accountant?) and he never really could respond to my emotional needs.
So even though we may have accepted our autism and we're okay with it, it does negatively affect people who depend on us.
I do believe this: you have a right to accept yourself just the way you are, but you don't have a right to demand that others accept you just the way you are.
Good points, although I'd say we have do a right to demand acceptance; we just don't have a reasonable chance of it happening. Without acceptance of reality, progress is awkward and hobbled, but our reality is just beyond the imagination of many.
My NT sister never gave up trying to get our AS mother to do typical mother things. I didn't know what was missing, but I thought the military had made her unfit as a parent before I learned about AS. Neither of us have had children.
05 Feb 2017, 2:27 am
