First time in history!! !! The NT/AS open hotline ! !! !! !

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NTs,
Can you explain to me what "cloud 9" means?

Cloud 9 (usually said in the sentence "X is on Cloud 9") is a state of happiness and peace - metaphorically representing a popular view of the Christian Heaven, imagined to be somewhere in the clouds, and where angels and the "good" dead live in constant happiness and peace. Not sure why 9 specifically...perhaps to represent the 9th story of Heaven or something if it were to have stories like a building, some of the "highest" happiness and peace possible.

This one may have been done before on this thread, but I appear to have some difficulty with discerning things like sarcasm, to a certain degree getting to know when people I don't know too well are joking, as well as what to do with the really negative comments of a coworker. I think that she might be jealous. But I don't know for certain.

But, I do not regret my endearing oddities one bit. Given the choice, I would not be NT, even though I am not sure how much of an Aspie one would really call me. Can someone be both NT and Aspie? Some days I am kind of NT, and others I feel more Aspie, although I have been formally diagnosed with HFA. Anyways, hope I do not sound like I am obsessing too much.

Ok, in my last post, I did not state this clearly enough. Why use sarcasm at all? And how can you tell if acquaintances are joking?

The positive attitude is nice I guess, but the condescension isn't. There is no humility in that attitude. I want to live in a society that is more humble, rather than tribal and divisive.



Sometimes, it would be nice to not be so anxious and sensitive - to stop stimming and getting overwhelmed by other people's company. It would be nice to be able to form relationships, without ruining them before they've even begun.



I have had times when it felt like people were extra-nice towards me. But mostly it doesn't.



I think my insularity has saved me from bullying, but at the same time prevented me from making substantial bonds.

When it's time to get someone who has Asperger's to leave your house, what do you say? Are all social bets off? I mean, can I just say, "Well, I had a great time, please leave now"?

I've tried the "Well, I have to do x, y, z thing to prepare for work tomorrow" and both times I have tried that, he stayed for an extra half an hour or more cuddling. I'm thinking "Well, this is nice and all, but why couldn't you have started doing this BEFORE I hit my limit for social interaction?" I've tried telling him before I come over "I have to do something at a certain time" and then again, the same thing. Cuddled for half an hour when I was supposed to have been gone.

As an NT, I kind of figured "Well, I have to do x, y, z thing," or "I have to be somewhere at X time" was a pretty obvious "Okay, we're done here. Get out" sign, but maybe not? Normally for NTs, we'll linger about 5-10 minutes as we shuffle towards the door making our goodbye statements/whatever.

If it makes any difference, he's my boyfriend. I'm happy with the relationship, but when he does stuff like this, it makes me want to distance myself from him and not have him over at my house anymore because I never feel comfortable getting my space back. I start to DREAD having him over at my house because of this. I think he understands the "Well, I have to go do x, y, z thing" social queue, since when we were first going out, he followed my lead in a public setting that it meant the interaction was over. I'm not sure if he knows to plug it into a more informal setting such as my house, though, nor am I sure just how to broach the subject. I always feel like a b***h when I say things outright, especially because my initial thought is "I like you, but please leave " ala Anya from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

QuothTheRaven, I don't know about you, but if he was my boyfriend, I'd just tell him the straight-up truth. You love him, but he has to leave now, because... you have to be at x place, or you are exhausted, etc. Then bring him slowly to the door and get his coat. Tell him that if he doesn't leave, you are going to be annoyed. I dunno, honesty is the best policy if you knew him for a while IMO

If you want to be nice, you can say that you will call him later or how much you're looking forward to his next visit or something

lol I remember being a kid in high school and would have done anything to be one of the crowd. Yes, they weren't perfect, but they had it better then I did. They could make friends with ease, talk to anyone, fit in with the group.

And then I turned 22 and went to college, realizing "friends" aren't everything.

As for you're friend, she sounds like me a little bit. Likes normal things, wants friends, and hot people (i'm hot in case she's interested. XD lol jk jk) just wants a normal social life. and there is nothing wrong with that. HOWEVER, she needs to be careful in who she decides in what groups to hang with. For example, if she decides the hot guy who does championship paintball is cool and wants to hang with his group, she is opening herself up to rejection if she knows only a little bit of what paintball is and has no experience in playing it. IDK how high she functions with AS, but she needs to start off with groups she has GREAT interest in (example, if her favorite thing is video games, have her join a gamer chix club or take her to an arcade and have her meet some people). From there, she can branch out. It is POSSIBLE for us AS to have a normal social life, but it doesn't come easy nor does it come quickly.

I hope I could help you with this question. if you need more, just tell me.

I feel like being an aspie is kind of like owning a pet tiger; it can be pretty awesome if you can handle it. Notice that I didn't say control.
Yes there are some challenges, but I feel like the benefits outweigh the difficulties. I'm one of the lucky ones where I come with above average intelligence (not trying to boast, just trying to be accurate). I can handle problems that others find challenging and I can find unique solutions. If people were chess pieces, NTs would be like the rooks and bishops moving in straight lines. But aspies move like knights following paths off the board which lets them jump over some obstacles. We can still get to the same destination, but we probably take different paths to get there.
Ultimately, AS does make some things more challenging for us, but if we can overcome enough to reach a level of productivity, it becomes an advantage. If I were given the choice to become NT, I'd feel like I'd be giving up something great.

From an aspie to the NT's. What does it mean (particularly when put in a dating site profile) "I work hard and play harder". What is the sentiment/attitude that the person wants to convey - for me it just turns me right off and leads me to think the person saying this thinks too much of herself.

It means that they want to... how should I put it... They like to party/are looking for more than just a relationship by using a dating site

They like to have fun

Don't we all

To me it says (apart from what said) because I work hard I deserve only what meets my exceedingly high standards so beware.

I wouldn't say that they are self-absorbed. I think that they just like to party or... you know... It's a common saying usually said in jest by partyers. It's not very serious.

well drooling over dating website profiles I notice that certain phrases get popular and reused.

"Work hard, play harder" means that the person is gainfully employed and motivated, but still has energy for and enjoys other activities.
"Playing hard" usually refers to drinking and/or drugs in a party, music or club setting