You Might be an Aspie if...

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...when the reason you play yourself at Scrabble is because no one wants to play against you, even if you give them the use of the Scrabble Dictionary as a handicap. (And let's not even get started on trying to find a Boggle opponent!)

... if there isn't a single person you know or will ever meet that understands your 'style' of clothing choices when you're really not even trying for that, and you just wear whatever's most comfortable until you remember to take a shower.

... if you've ever decided you don't want to go to a small gathering of close friends because you became engrossed in a new book, so you just pretended you weren't home.

... if you don't understand the concept of myspace. (I like facebook because it has tetris.)

... if you've painstakingly developed 'strategies' for tetris.

... if you're playing tetris and are suddenly irritated that there isn't enough horizontal space on-screen to just make a pile of each shape.

... if you've ever left a library because it was too loud.

... if you alphabetize anything you own that has a title, yet your dorm room is littered with so much trash no one will live with you.

... if you're annoyed at your roommate for opening the window blinds during the day.

... if you contemplate complex cooling systems for your computer using things you already have anyway. (Macguyver rules! duct tape can fix anything! ... except ducts.)

... if you're completely starving, yet you have to think of whether or not to get food because it would take you away from your computer.

... if you have dozens of tabs open on your web browser, the majority of which are things you INTEND to get around to reading.

... if you dislike using the public restroom not because of hygiene issues, but because the square floor pattern doesn't align to the wall properly.

... if your friends start cleaning your room FOR you because they can't stand to be in such filthy conditions, and they can't hang out with you anywhere else (if you let them in in the first place, I usually ignore the door if I'm into something.)

... if you often skip contractions in speech, unintentionally using the base words instead, because the authors of the books you've been reading don't use them in writing.

... if you've ever started serious conversations over the logic of cereal commercial characters. (why doesn't Lucky just call the cops or something?)

... if you don't understand a single point to political correctness.

... if you've ever wanted to bunk the two beds in your room because you're the only occupant and the beds are made to go together into a bunk bed, thus making more room... but since you didn't want to get someone's help, you disassemble the bed and build a platform to hold the pieces up above one of the beds using the computer chairs in the room. (My neighbors still wonder how the hell I did this.)

YMBAI:

You think trigonometric substitution is the greatest integration technique ever invented.

You can watch the movement of something and draw imaginary tensor path or vectors, and actually assign fairly good approximate values. Or display similar feats of an insane level of spatial perception

You can actually estimate velocity or the acceleration of a object to a fair degree of accuracy but take 2-5 seconds to decide if it's safe to proceed through an intersection on a green.

One of your backyard experiments has ever left a hole greater than 10 feet in diameter.

You've been called by the game and fish department on a Saturday at 3am the morning to see if you will take care of a hurt poisonous reptile, until the rescue center opens up on Monday.

Nightmares in your dreams don't include falling/dismemberment/being naked.. but related to you have to be a conductor of a symphony orchestra, driving a big rig cross country, Or holding a public office.

You have been called a field operative of "Murphy's law".

You went to a job interview and if you find more than two people interviewing you, then you walk out.

You were kicked out of an engineering college, because the dean think you are too dangerous to work in the engineering field.

You have spent several day reprogramming a big mouth billy bass, for a youtube video competition.

You drove a mineralogy teacher insane with facts about rocks.

You wrote a state color specification that got approved on the first review only because of it's complexity, and 10,000 pages of background research.

You hand drew the plans for something down to a mm detail, yet when asked what it is for or where it is supposed to be located you can not answer that.

You have Chilton's manual for every vehicle you had, on two of them you rebuilt both the transmission and engine, however the manuals have never had there plastic wrap removed.
not only did you rebuild it, your never had any experience (Other than changing a tire/air filter/battery) on working on vehicles before that. but it could take you days to change a window wiper.

You strike terror into the heart of librarians by your mere presence, and you have submitted a inter library loan request that took a research archivist over two hours to process.

In middle school at your schools award show you received: The bull in a china shop award, along with the largest vocabulary award.

You were accused of locking out all the administrator account during the last week of school in your senior year, you of course didn't do it, but know who did because you may have accidently given them
instructions... However your wear responsible for the weird power outage during the principal speech, that was trigger from a new programmable message board, during your graduation ceremonies. No
one of course ever figured out the relationship between the programmable message board, stadium field light board, and pa system. instead just opting to reset the system and have a 30 minute
intermission resulting in them skipping the principal great speech.

You have more than 10 color of duct tape rolls in your room

You have been collecting key rings since you were 3, and now have a series of connected key rings that weights over 250lb.

You have over twenty plastic boxes (Labeled), that is pertaining to different crafts, (Beading box, Drawing box, Dying box, Motor tool box, wood burning etc.)

Your local police department asked you about advise pertaining to full hard drive encryption, then asked if you mind making some power point slides.

Your room has a 4-4-4 chemical sign on, along with biological agent/nuclear agent signs and if you count over a year what has gone in and out of your room, the signs would be truthful.

You have a menu from the roadkill cafe on your wall, next to the list of thing you need to remember to do daily.

Your laundry room includes a 50 step list on how to do a load of laundry, to use list properly you need at least two timers, or a timer that can have multiple times set.

Your rooms has been declared a federal superfund site, and does not seem to follow the regular rules of thermodynamics.

You might be aspie if you know more about AS than the psychologist that ended up diagnosing you.

YMBAI:

Movie tropes in violation of reality annoy the heck of out you.
such as:

villains cutting auto-mobile brakes to kill people(the brakes just lock up, car goes nowhere)
lighting gasoline trails with cigarettes or (worse) bullets, (just not enough heat, not enough time either)
shooting locks to open them, especially from only 2 feet away (doesnt work, and dont they fear ricochets?)
worse, breaking locks with the butt of a gun, (hint, confuscious say, "steel block stronger than ivory handle!")
cars that explode into flames after crashing to the bottom of canyons (especially when its plain that the explosion is centered in the seating area)
it always takes 30 seconds for police to trace a call, but call waiting is instant
bodies being flung back(and sometimes off their feet) by the force of bullets(arg! that bugs me)

YMBAI:

if it bugs you when British people, with their normally wonderful enunciation, say words like carer. Yuck. And you hate sentences that use repeated words. "It is clear that that house will never sell." Grrr.

Actually, all of those are cases of what tvtropes.com refers to as "Reality Is Unrealistic". You can indeed light a gasoline trail with a cigarette, given that the wind in the area isn't too strong (if it is, it'll blow the flame out). There's not any real point to doing so, because the flame won't be hot enough to burn much of anything else, but you can do it...

Locks can indeed be shot open (although if you're referring to the locks that are embedded in doors, yes, ricochet is a very real danger). If you need a padlock and are concerned about it being shot off, I recommend the layered Masterlock - back in the '70s, on a show with consumer-advocate David Horowitz, they showed a sharpshooter with a high-powered rifle blowing apart various padlocks, and the Masterlock layers deformed around the bullets. It took a large number of shots before the lock finally disintegrated; it never did really unlock.

It takes the cops 30 seconds to trace a call because usually when they need to trace a call, the people they want to trace have their caller ID blocked - what's the point of making a "mysterious" call if your victim's phone just goes ahead and gives them your phone number?

As for a body being flung around by the force of a bullet, that depends entirely on the mass of the round, its velocity at the point of impact, and the mass of the target. Shooting someone with a .22 at point-blank range won't toss them anywhere, but hitting someone with a .50-caliber round at 10 yards flipping well ought to move something...

It also depends on the relation to the center of mass of the body. A shot from a heavy caliber weapon off center produces a torque. Also if the shot produces a highly non-elastic collision.

ruveyn

Your girl friend was a lady who co-hosted a History Channel show something Fernandez. Your next girlfriend was the sassy Australian girl on the Hoyle Board and Card games. Then your girlfriend was a young lady on the Algebra CD that came with your text book. Now it is Amy Mainzer of the History Channel show, "The Universe."

if you're annoyed when you see fractions or ratios in writing that aren't expressed to the lowest common denominator and have to stop reading to work it out before you can continue.

This is hilarious and so true! Sadly I can't think of any.

You think that automatic checkouts are the most brilliant idea because they keep you from having to interact with the cashier.

YMBAAI you choose to go the the cashier rather than the automatic checkout because the automatic checkout will inevitably malfunction due to poor programming, thus forcing you to interact even more with the cashier to explain that you are not stealing, and have in fact put the item in the bag as instructed. At least with the live cashier you can get away with minimal eye contact and a grunt or two.

Yes, this.

YMBAAI:

You don't see the point in pouring a glass of water because drinking from the jug is much faster.

You found it hard to make yourself hate Susan Atkins, especially after she died, and after seeing how she looked in the lead-up to her death.

You live in Australia or Britain and have reverted to American spelling when typing because you despise the red bars that appear under misspelled words.

You get along better with children than with adults, because children's minds haven't yet been bastardised and you can relate to their youthfully naive thought processes.

You get along even better with animals because you can actually predict their thought processes and actions.

People think you're either a serial killer/paedophile/rapist because you always look like you're sizing everyone up.

You know you are an Aspie if...

when you was 4-y-old your mum ask you why you draw a so screwed up house with asymmetrical windows. And you anwer her that they are not windows but our sofa, table, etc.. It was a map of our house.

Mythbusters handled this. Twice.



Of course they can. But I was talking about walking up to them and shooting them with a pistol. With a big enough round, a laminate comes apart, but you dont see them anymore(you can also quickly grind off the rivets- a lot more quiet than a gun). Good locks, however, seize up. And you agree: the lock disintegrated, not unluck.



No it does not. If you have ever had a prank caller, you would know that immediately after, you can call a certain number and it flags the last callers number(you dont talk to anyone). It takes it from records, regardless of block status(or what would be the point?). Of course the phone company doesnt tell YOU the number, but the police would be another matter. Note: you could do this an hour later. A day later. as long as someone else hasnt called(but the phone company could still dig that number up, PDQ.

And if the police set up a wiretap, they would have a mechanism for catching the records. Nobody would even have to answer the phone, as your number is a route signal to your local switch block, and that switch, probably in your back alley, filters it to your house.

Further, any phone technician can do a callback. They dial out to the telephone switch and seconds later, it calls back.

And lastly, you can spoof a phone number, but its not something you do spur of the moment, and its not happening when the bad guy picks up a random phone. Or a pay phone on the street.



No. Study your physics a little. If you apply say 200 pounds of force to a bullet with a tip that is less than 1/4 inch against flesh and bone, the force needed to penetrate(and bypass) that flesh is less than the mass of an adult human of any size. If the friction of going through the person is high enough, the bullet mushrooms, splinters, and stops. If the deformation resistance is too high, like a steel bullet, it passes through or stops cold.

Once you get into the really big bullets(hunting rifles and above), their force is sufficient to push right through the body. That is, the force needed to pass through the body is less than the force needed to lift the body off the ground. Flesh is not at all elastic under that much pressure.

Air lines have to deal with this issue. The floors in planes must be strong enough to withstand the weight of a heavy woman on walking on high heels without her punching through the floor. Dont believe it?

Quick question. If a weight applies 100 pounds per square foot to an area of 1/4 inch, how much force is is applied? That is most of the weight of an average woman(in high heels) stepping forward onto her heel as she walks. The pressure cubes as the area quarters.

So if you have a large woman, say 200 pounds, on a sensible heel of 1 square inch, thats a pressure of 200 lbs/sqr inch. Put her on high heels and its suddenly the equivalent of 800 lbs per square inch. That is more than enough to punch through plywood and thin layers of aluminum(like you would find in a airplane floor). Most of a persons weight rests on their heels.

Bullets are designed to penetrate. And they follow physics. A bullet that imparts enough force to lift a man off his feet will impart kickback in the gun which would lift the shooter off their feet.