The autism social rule book.

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Haha - thanks handsome!

When someone is showing you a picture of there kids, or art work, ect. Try to actual feel something when responding to them it will make the interaction seem more natural. I do this by picturing my kid or making sure I am not spacey when they are sharing. I just learned this one it has really helped me.

If you still dont feel anything that is ok but paint an expression in your voice (practice this before trying it at work).

When you let someone in a door at a public place (or private I guess) you don't have to walk in sync with them if they are a stranger.

Question: When walking with a co-worker, say from parking lot into work is it better to walk side by side or just slightly ahead or behind?

I would say side by side because like this, you can talk to the person or you can pretend to listen at least.

224. When a person tell you "don't let me start on that" and laugh (or smile), you have to ask her a question related to "that".

It is social taboo to talk about death so even if someone has also experienced death in their family rather it was their child or unborn one or loved one or friend, etc. they still don't talk about it to relate to you when you have experienced a death or a loss.

So that doesn't mean people don't give a s**t or don't care when you try and talk about yours and want to hear other peoples stories about their experience.

I wonder if it is against the social rules to talk about it too?

226. Don't forget that NTs make social faux pas as well!

227. If you live in certain cities, don't make eye contact with people when walking down the street, unless you run into someone you know. You could be guilt tripped into giving your money to a non profit (as wonderful as the work they are doing can be) or you could get mugged. This isn't true for every city but it is true for a lot of American cities.

228, If you know that someone would be offended by your views and/or past do not tell them about it.

229, being (or pretending to be) like pollyanna always helps as in spite of what we are led to think no one likes a misery guts

230) If you think something might offend or aren't sure if it will offend, don't say it.

231) Try to be careful about how you say things
- you may only mean it as a joke, but someone else may not understand this

And this is because of lack of knowledge of what I call local language rules, whose link is present in my signature, and lack of empathy. I think these are two distint aspects to NT conversation.

232) My thumb rule: If you understood a social interaction(may be a faux pas) and are unsure whether NTs have understood that or not (what gone wrong with you/ how you percieved it in case it was faux pas) then assume if you have got it then NTs have surely also got it.
233) If you have OCD then prevent that condition from ocassionaly making you speak that you don't want to speak since you know that that might be interpreted as rude or prevent OCD from making some gesture or do other things socially unacceptable. It has happened with me a lot and therefore put me into trouble almost all of those ocassion.

Last edited by daspie on 04 Nov 2010, 12:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think the word 'fruit' can be replaced by pretty much anything. Especially body parts

234. Not everything can relate to your topic of interest. Do not change the topic to your interest if others do not ask for it.

235. If you repeat things people say to you, they might think you are mocking them.

236. If talking to yourself out loud, refrain from looking at other people, they think you are talking to them.

237. Not everything people say is to be taken literally. e.g. if somebody tells you they fell over and now they have a bruise 'the size of a small country' ...they do not literally have a bruise the size of a small country. (I still can't get the hang of this one) :/

238. Do not say 'that can't be right, there's no pattern to it' in an english lesson. English literature and poems are apparently not meant to have patterns.

Most of what people say is not to be taken literally. By saying "the size of a small country" they are comparing it to the map of a country.

239) Sometimes it's not what you say, it's how you say it. You can intend something as a compliment or trying to be helpful but how you are wording it can make it sound like you are attacking them or putting them down and being mean. Tone can make a difference by changing the whole tone of the post or when you are talking.

240) Please don't even use different words for insults eg. n***a for the n word, that doesn't work with people. We all know what you mean. Same as if you decide to say 'tigger' for the N word. Some people think just as long as they use a different word by changing the ending of an insult or the beginning or middle, it's okay.

241) When people say "Do you want an honest answer?" they are basically saying "Can I insult you?" (took me a few times to figure this one out after seeing the pattern, after having it happen to me three times, I finally figured out when people say that, just say "no" because it is not what you think they are going to say. They are going to say more than doesn't need to be said.

242) Some people think think being an as*hole equals honesty so they say they are just very honest when really, they are just an as*hole. Some people think being honest entitles them to be an as*hole.

243: do not interrupt the mayor. (no matter how longwinded he is being)

244: medically graphic discussions are not suitable for the dinner table - unless you are with a group of biologists or physicians.

245: do not get into religious arguments with your coworkers

246: do not follow someone around nattering about your special interest, especially if you have to follow them out of the room to do so.

247: just because you adore snakes doesn't mean everyone else does, so don't show one to them at close range unexpectedly. Same goes for spiders...

248: When trying to sell something, emphasize the product's good points. Try not to volunteer less pleasant information unless it is essential, but don't lie either. This one's a bit of a minefield for me, I am always rather more honest than many would be and I think my boss would prefer me to be a bit less thorough in pointing out problems with products to customers.

249) When parents are talking about their child's issues, don't ever suggest what condition their kid could have such as autism or ADD or dyslexia, etc. They hate that.