Emotion Management - Info from Attwood conference

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Another element of the CBT I experienced which I am now suddenly thinking may have been very bad for me as an Aspie, was that we were taught to treat beliefs/thoughts involving a "have to" or a "should " as fundamentally untrue, not holding water, misleading, false.

And yet I now think, but I need beliefs with "have to" and "should" in, otherwise I do nothing, or very little, of what it takes to survive.

If I had not in fact very strongly held the belief that mothers "have to/must" stay with their children, I would have abandoned my son in the first few weeks after he was born.

etc etc etc.

The idea that we need to liberate ourselves from "have to's, should's, and ought's" is dangerous, especially if are AS and take things rather literally.

Well, now that chesapeaker "sleeps with the fishes", so to speak, I'm finally able to come on this thread and say that I'm her ex-husband's wife and that 99% of what she said about him, me, their marriage, his family, and her children, especially her daughter, were LIES. Plain and simple.

I didn't want to before because that would have gotten her going on me again, like we did when she first came on here, and I've ignored her posts ever since no matter what outlandish lies she said about her ex or me or her daughter or their marriage or even his family, which I couldn't believe she brought into things.

That being said, I have very mixed feelings about CBT, for many of the reasons that skeptics have already discussed in this thread. I don't like being manipulated and I don't like manipulating others, even for a "good" cause or reason. I agree that people shouldn't get mired in negativity or keep themselves stuck in a "victim" mode, but what, exactly, is that anyway? There are some who would claim that just discussing your negative experiences is being in "victim" mode and that just isn't true or fair. And it's not really for someone who isn't part of a particular group, and who has not shared their negative experiences, to lecture others of that group on what they have or haven't experienced and whether they are or are not "victims." This is especially true with "invisible" conditions such as AS or, in my case, learning disabilities.

Inventor said
"The NTs are disappointed in me for speaking my mind and having an opinion here" ?
Well,I'm not NT and I was still disappointed.
The reason is that although you do speak
a lot of sense,I feel that you go and spoil it by being completely prejudiced against all NTs.

These are some of your quotes about them.
"Hearing of their deaths cheers me up"
"Perhaps they will burn in hell"
"ALL NTs are curebies"
"These NT are a pack of mad dogs"

On the one hand Inventor you said that everyone should be treated as individuals,then proceeded to extol the virtues of Autistics while making outrageous negative generalisations about NTs.THAT is what was disappointing,not any of your otherwise well-reasoned and eloquent observations !

For what its worth,my own view of CBT is
that in its simplest form it can be effective.
I've heard of it being useful in helping people overcome irrational fears and that is an
aspect of AS that it could help.I believe
Tony Attwood does appreciate the view of
adult Autistics because he's made it his life's
work and interviewed hundreds of people.
Obviously,fellow Autistics have the potential
to offer the best understanding - but don't
always count on it.

Oh,and thank you to Helen for posting the
information and unwittingly opening Pandora's Box.Let's not shoot the messenger,eh ?

In defense of Inventor, not that he needs it, if you have had as much ill treatment in your life, you'd probably have similar opinions.

I was much more protected and don't personally have the same opinions, but I can appreciate his perspective, even if I don't completely agree with it.

I do wonder, though, if some of those ill-treaters who are labeled as NT actually had some level of ASD. Sometimes we are harshest to those who are the most like us. Who knows?

Z

2ukenkerl,

Holy sh*t do people take advantage of that! My dad was a really sweet, gentle, naive guy who was terribly taken advantage of. He said he wanted to write a book called Gullible's Travels. I was the same but got over it. It's been hard for me to not be bitter myself, but I prefer to come across as cynical. I've been told it works for me.

Z

If there is one place I should learn never to attempt sarcasm, but don't worry, I never learn, I am Autistic.

We are not being treated like intelligent people, we are all Rainman to those hard working NT's who come to save the ungratful disappointing tards from their self inflicted suffering.

So I play, "My stereotype can beat up your stereotype."

The fun is I can take something said here, add two parts Mecurey Mafia, please pass the feces, the Voice from the Heavens of "Autism Has Spoken", and claim they are trying to turn children into Pschopaths.

The truth inherent makes it more fun.

It was intended to cause great suffering and pain, an Autistic meltdown, because no tard can stand the displeasure of a Godlike NT.

I am calling them dogs that came in our house, and crapped on the living room rug.

You do not say to the dog, as much as I respect your opinions, I also have one. It will keep crapping on the rug. Now a rolled up newspaper works wonders. That and a few days in the yard with dry food and water, no company, no coming in the house at night, and no smiles and friendly looks, is what it takes to communicate with an NT.

The main error I see is Autistics wishing that other creatures were of our intelligence, had our highly tuned perceptions, and could actually communicate in words. This is a false hope my brothers, for it has been proven many times that the NT, cannot communicate in words, but needs to make monkey faces, do body poses, and wiggle their hindquarters to communicate, a watercooler seems optional, perhaps just a ritual object.

Even then, they mostly fail, which is why we have to run IT, Accounting, and direct the business. Critical systems. They are short sighted at best, and lack a nose. When money was being devalued, they thought he value of their house was going up, the numbers were larger. So they borrowed against the equity, so they could pay interest on what they owned, then did not invest it, but spent it on a bigger SUV than the neighbor had. Their lack of a critical mind let them buy the Cadillac Escalade, a $72,000 pickup truck. Filling the 40 gallon tank costs $160, twice a week.

Having seen a show on Oprah, "The total lifetime horror and endless suffering of the Autism Epidemic." They figured with their TV watching skills, they could cure it in a few hours, betweeen Days of our lives, and the next Oprah. So they come to Wrong Planet, where the ret*ds gather.

Their first shock is adults saying, "Thanks, but no thanks, I am good as is". The situation is much worse than they thought, so they naturally knowing the best for everyone, they do watch Oprah, chose to inflict their truth on the children, so they will not grow up to be adults who can chose for themselves.

Forgetting that we are the people that know what NT's do to Autistic children in that room in the cellar with the thick door and no windows, they try the, that was last month, this is this month, why are you so fixated on the past?

It might be because even the Professional approach, long ice water baths, electro consulvse shock, Thorazine, did end with being strapped to a bed, in a windowless room, with a thick door, by some lowest paid animal handler, after the medical staff had left for the weekend.

The Courts banned such treatment, in Publically supported hospitals, so only families who could pay private rates could get the service. There has never been an apology, no Truth and Reconcliation hearings, and we are told to shut up about it or we will be in real trouble.

ZONDER brings up a good point, confirmed by my friends from the nut house long ago. Doctor Hanibal Lector was not a fictional character, he was meant to be a composite of the Psych Profession. In my University days, Psych Major, meant nut case.

They start by tearing the wings off of butterflies, then go into Mental Health Treatment. Nurse Rachet from "One flew over the coocoo's nest was a composite.

The Mental Health Profession sees no one as creative, talented, intelligent, they see them all as butteryflies so proud of their wings. They are Professionals, which is to say, they can act without thought, feeling, compassion, and love their job.

The Pros are bad enough, these untrained self elected types who come here are much worse. They carry a personal grudge against an Autistic person, and seek us out as people who are supposed to be unable to fight back, and are easy to inflict emotional pain on.

They are mentally ill NTs. I see two basic types, those who now want to blame their lives on AS, either they were, or someone they knew was, which is to blame for their actions, even if it does not fit, they ar ehighly social and their special interest is being social, and those who want to understand thier dementia by helping others, but without the Psych Degree.

I do feel I can spot the Autistic. ZONDER can Aspie a subject while agreeing and disagreeing, and opening more paths for further exploration. A thoughtful writer.

PLUTO can state what was said, a definate Aspie trait, and expect a reply. How not NT of you.

Most I have explained, but you left out what is original to me.

"Treat them like people,
they act like dogs,
treat them like dogs,
they act like well behaved dogs."

I happen to think Helen is great. I among many have called her "The Greatest Mum."

I was one of the first to greet her, and have given her my support all along.

Expressing my doubts about CBT in no way changes my opinion of her.

She did not post on the parents forum, but on General, so she was asking for feedback.

She is a very smart woman, a through worker, and not small minded.

Of course Attwood, the people selling CBT supplies and books, have a one sided view. Helen came here looking for what she got, honest objections, personal stories, and a critique of treatment, value, and if value is perhaps the same as telling the child while holding a pink stuffed bunny, and asking what would the bunny want to hear, how would it understand you?

CBT, ABA, do involve "Floor time' getting down and inteacting with the child on their level, as a means of getting them to want to play your game.

Now does this work in it's self, or only if you are wearing clothes from the Hannibal Lector line?

Two views, is it a means of using a tool to condition a child? Or is it a way to teach an adult to act within a child's understanding?

As for Tony Attwood's views of Science, and adult Autistics, "Aspies could not organize a pissup in a brewery." That may not be an exact quote, I do not speak Australian.

He has interviewed hundreds, but I think they were Austrailian, and a lot of his views and theirs seem cultural. Austrialians might be humans, what they speak does sound something like English, But I have problems with what the English mean with their word usage.

This shela Helen has dealt with Aussie blokes. Austistic and Austrailian have a lot of common culture.
So she has been hanging with her Yank mates and gathering a wide range of opinion. It was not Attwood and staff that was speaking to the Medical Profession, educating them, it was Helen. It was Helen who traveled to London to meet with some world class Autistics.

With her boys she is going to be a regular at Attwood's Clinic, and already sees the, could be done better, of it. Some point of cultural bias, Hearts and Minds to an American of my generation is what we were killing Vietnamese over.

Austrialians are more expressive about it, Autistic? No mate, Aussie.

English Autistics naturally see themselves as The Queens Autistics to be in charge of Her Magesties World Autistic Empire.

The Yanks are the wild card. They are strange, but rich and well armed. They do not have values, but are humored.

Having the Yank point of view, and support, she is such a great Mum, gives Helen power in this world on the fringes that we could never understand. She is NT, but Austrialian first, and living with her sons, has no culture shock on Wrong Planet.

Attwood is marketing Attwood, his insight into the Autistic mind, something he can never truely understand, but at least for the kids, he does not use cattle prods. His views on adults are less positive.

Helen is posting Lab Pet on Utube, HFA in action. Helen is collecting Autistic stories.

Attwood is treatment for fee, Helen is recognition of living functioning Autistic adults.

V8 now has a fan club in Austrailia.

Helen is setting up her own web site, which will be nothing like Autism Speaks, and she has a language advantage, or like Attwood. She has different goals, she is going to post and speak, keep pushing the truth of adult outcomes, till the world, Austrialia at least, is going to be a place that accepts her sons as adults.

So yes, there are objections to some past and present forms of "Treatment".

Autistic adults are a force to be reconned with. They can organize a rebutal to Attwoods's expressed opinion about them.

The way forward should be a group effort of equals, even Austrialians, and we should all put forth our best for todays children, and if it works for them, we are just old children, so I want to hear about it.

Helen is a highly trained Mum. If anyone can change the world, My bet is on her. She has the motive and drive.

As for Dingo Breath Hannibal "Attwood" Lector, he is going to face outragous negative generalizations until he quits making them.

Only Helen can fill the gap between children, parents, adult Autistics, The National Medical service, and the Pop Psych Professor. She does have a lot more medical connection than he does. He speaks University, she is Medical Establishment. So who will bring change?

The Yanks do the best and worst of everything. Our views on Autism a fine example. I think Austrialia has a National Health Service, so they will not have a Mecury Mafia, or Trial Lawyers donating to Autism Speaks for promoting their case.

With that out of the way a simple and workable system that aids children and adults is likely. Once a better method is shown to work, nothing can stop it from spreading over the world.

So, there is a method to my madness, and it is fun. Solving our differances is the best for everyone, even NT's, for I am only one step away from perfecting Tesla's Death Ray. We will solve this one way or another.

Has V8 shown any tricks yet?